justice Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 :cool:I'm not sure just where to post this one. Ever since experiencing my h's adultery, all of the gaslighting he did and all of the lies and everything that I went through pertaining to my situation, I'm now thinking about two separate, yet together business ventures. And I need your thoughts on both of them. I'm seriously considering writing a book on marriage, affairs, and everything involving it. There would be chapters from the wayward spouse and their views on why they think it happened and what their feelings were in accordance to what happened, and it would be in timed sequences from the beginning to the end and their resolutions and thoughts on the whole shebang. All aspects of the anatomy of the affair and the people involved. There would also be a chapter or chapters from the other man/woman and their perspectives and thoughts, etc. Of course, the betrayed spouse will have chapters and all too. I'm genuinely interested in doing this. The other thing I know I'm going to do is I'm starting my own business. How many of us betrayed and formerly betrayed spouses have the money to hire a private investigator? Not many of us and that is for certain. Especially not the spouses who are stay at home moms and dads or stay at home wives and husbands. I'm going to start an investigations business for the betrayed spouses only. Yes, I'm serious. I know back when my former h was cheating, I didn't have the money for an investigator and I had to find out everything on my own and it sure wasn't easy at all. If I would have been able to afford an investigator back then I would have, but at that time I didn't and so it became very hard to track down everything when you are trying to work, pay bills and stay on your toes all of the time. The business that I wish to start, will be income based, still trying to work out the mechanics of this, but I think it will help people alot. I'm as we speak, checking into the state laws and other legalities pertaining to this type of business venture. I'm very serious about this. I want to help others and for them to have resources that they might normally not have had in this situation. Are there any thoughts out there regarding my ventures here? I'm just curious to know if you all think there would be a need for the type of services I'm planning on offering? I think there is a need. Especially since it will be income based on some cases. For the book I want to write, I'm going to need all sorts of input. I want the views, experiences, and feelings and thoughts of all parties involved in affairs, whether you're wife, husband, other man, other woman or just even thinking about anything to do with affairs. I want chapters on beginnings, endings, and the in betweenings. And I especially want chapters on discovery day and what the actions of the cheating spouses were, as well as what it has cost them emotionally and financially. I need your stories, experiences and thoughts whether you be wife, husband, cheater or cheatee. I'm thinking about starting out with D-day tales first so if you have any and would like to share your experience pm me if it's private or post them here. From the D-day scenario, I'm taking it back to the beginning step by step. All person's stories will be told in an anonymous light so that no one will be hurt by any of it. That's the last thing I want to cause is more pain for any of us. Please let me know your thoughts on this, and ask questions if you want. I'm also posting this at the om/ow board as well. It isn't just two people in an affair, it's several, and they all deserve to tell their part of the story. Thanks in advance.
silktricks Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 I think it will be an interesting book, and I wish you the best of luck with it. For the PI thing, that seems a good thing as well. I don't know how the income based thing will work out for your own financial well being, but if you can manage it, it seems that it may help a number of people.
Author justice Posted August 7, 2007 Author Posted August 7, 2007 I think it will be an interesting book, and I wish you the best of luck with it. For the PI thing, that seems a good thing as well. I don't know how the income based thing will work out for your own financial well being, but if you can manage it, it seems that it may help a number of people. Thanks Silk. I'm trying to turn a very negative thing into a positive thing, I want to let the ppl involved in affairs, in whatever aspect, know that they can change things for the better, it can be turned around and it can be resolved so that all parties can go on to a better and healthier life.
jj2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I think both the book and the PI sound like a great idea. I know what you mean about not having the money to hire a PI. When I was digging and getting proof about my H's A I wish there was an option out there like that for me.
Wibble Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 It's an understandable impulse, the desire to share your insight with as many people as possible, in the sincere hope that you are, in some way, able to save them from the pain you have experienced. It is commendable and honourable, but I have two thoughts: Firstly, the market is burgeoning with books on this topic, and the internet is full of blogs and websites dealing with this topic. Many are written by highly professional and experienced people who give sound and compassionate advice. Is there a need for another publication, especially one written from the partisan viewpoint of a "victim" of adultery? You may find it very therapeutic to write the book, but how will you feel if you cannot get it published, or, if you do, sales are very poor? It may make you feel even worse. Secondly, in my experience the only people who read these books are those who have suffered the agony of marital betrayal. If you are (or THINK you are) happily married, why would you read a book that catalogues, in excruciating detail, the worst possible emotional event most people can contemplate? A journey to the dark side of the human soul is not most people idea of bed time reading! So, as a warning to people who are being betrayed, it is unlikely to work. I don't want to burst your bubble. As a fellow "victim" I wanted to shout from the roof tops the new "insights" I had gained into the fallibility of spouses and the illusions of a "strong" marriage, but I soon realised no-one wanted to listen. Forums like this are the best place to blow off steam, seek a bit of strength and ocasionally offer advice. All IMHO, of course.
Author justice Posted August 10, 2007 Author Posted August 10, 2007 My publisher says that these kind of books sell well and move fast. I am to a certain extent writing it because I'm hoping to share aspects of all sides of the affair with the people who are interested, maybe to give them some sort of insight on the whole nature of the beast. I'm not writing it as a warning, I am writing it for education and exploration of affairs, for better understanding why some of these things can happen and how. As for being a victim, I'm not and I will never be a victim, you only become a victim when you let yourself become a victim. And although it would be nice if it made some profit, again, that is not my objective in writing it. Thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate them.
Author justice Posted August 10, 2007 Author Posted August 10, 2007 Thank you. I think this could really help alot of people who need it.
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