alpha70 Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 My girlfriend and I have been going through a serious rough patch for about 3wks now and she doesn't feel that she can count on me when she needs me most. I won't get into specifics, but I have a different perspective and I'm not sure we should stay together either. We had a long conversation last night and at the end I just said, "well, if that's how you feel then we should just move on and go our seperate ways." She said, "I think that would be best." I told her I didn't want to have any interaction with her any longer. My roommate is taking care of her dog for her and told her all things would go through him. She was upset that I could look after her dog, but couldn't talk with her about him, etc.. Talked for a while longer and I asked again if she wanted to break it off and if she said yes, there is no going back. She said that she didn't know and it was late. We agreed to meet for coffee on Thursday night. Well, I'm thinking that it might be a good idea to just take a couple of weeks away from each other to both think of what we want. I mentioned this briefly and she said, "what is that a pill?" Meaning a cure all pill for the relationship. Sometimes time apart like this will make the decision easier after both people have had time to reflect. Anyone have opinions? Sounds like to me that she wants to break up, but doesn't just want to rip the band aid off, and would rather just slowly ween herself off of me. Maybe but maybe not. I did ask her why would she still want to talk with me after we broke up? What's the point I said? She got flustered. Sounds like she just wants me in her life.....doesn't know at what capacity though. What should I consider doing?
sao2 Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 Once someone has made up there mind that they don't want you in their life anymore you really can't change their mind. Probably not what you want to hear but that is pretty much it. She may eventually decide she wants you back in her life, but it will probably be at some point far into the future. Most likely after you don't care anymore.
Reactor Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 sao2 is right. Trust me on this one dude, women go with their 'gut' feelings, if her gut is telling her 'NO' even though her heart and brain maybe telling her yes, then I'm afraid its over. I know just how you feel, I was in the exact same predicament, I thought it would be better to finish the relationship but held on and tried to give her space, partly because she was my first girlfriend and partly because she was my first real female friend who I had got close to (which made it much harder to bare). In the end she ended the relationship for me, over the phone, it still hurt and I'm still not over her, and I believe shes not over me, however honestly, I can look back and say she wasn't the one for me, and you will too (not for my ex-girlfriend ofc ;D). You're right of course (regarding the 'keeping you in her life' thing) my ex wanted the same, as if she was keeping me on 'ice' for when she wanted a serious relationship and also because she couldn't/can't deal with the hurt that it will bring her, however if you're there at least as a friend she can always say she still has the 'best' of you when she wants it! Don't do it to yourself, she'll only want you until she finds someone else then she'll drop you quicker than yesterdays issue of 'OK' magazine, do yourself a favour: now its over go NC (no contact) and get on with your life!
amaysngrace Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 I think you know what she's doing...the band aid thing like you said. She likes you and all but she's not sure if it's not enough. She wants more from you than you're willing to give. Or are you? Time will tell. Time tells everything.
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