What Should I Do?

[dsw162]

There is this guy I've been talking to at my Job. I work at a health care facility and he works as a transporter for an ambulance service and he also works as a security guard at a high school so he works 7 days a week. We've been talking to each other on and off for the about six months now. In the beginning we would only talk when saw each other, than we decided to exchange numbers and started talking even more.

 

He's only visited my home once and I thought things went well. We talked about everything and found that we had so much in common. We also kissed which I thought was really nice and I know he felt the same way.

 

Right afterward that he and I kind of fell by the way side because, he stopped calling even when I called him he would not return my calls half the time. So I decided to not call him again. Then after about a month he calls me and ask what happened to me and why did I stop calling. I told him why and he said he's just been so busy that he could not call. So I decided to give him a second chance and start calling him again. We would talk about getting together

 

Than he started it all over again with the not returning phone calls. Again I decided to leave him alone and move on. This time 3 months goes by and he all of a sudden starts calling again. He tells me that a lot has been going on in his family and that he has been under a lot of stress. He also goes on to tell me that I need to be more agressive when it comes to him, that I should not stop calling him when he does not return my phones. He feels that when I call him one time and he don't return the call I should not just stop calling, because he did not call me after the first call. That I should call again. Because he would. And not returning my calls is a big problem for me. I don't want to call him too much, because he might think I'm desaparate and there were a few times that I have called more than once and sometimes he would return the call and sometimes he would.

 

Last night I called him and he did return my call, but he said he was at the resturant ordering food and he would call me as soon as he got back home. He never did and that really bothered me.

 

Anyway I really like this guy. I feel like we have so much in common. We think alot like, we share primarily the same belief, and when I'm with him I feel good. Tell me what should I do? I talked to my best friend and she says if he was interested he would call more. That I should not call him too much because it does make me look desparate. That he just playing games with my head and more than likely he there is another woman involved. I have not been in the dating business that long and I've only had one boyfriend. Can someone tell me what I should do. Should I call him again or do you think my friend is right and that he is playing games with me and I should move on?

[Tony T]

Move on!!! Your friend is 100 percent right. It seems he calls you every few months when his other romantic interludes are stuck or in a down mode. He's keeping you in reserve as a back up in case one or more of his other romantic interests takes a dump.

 

The next time he calls you and wonders why you haven't called, tell him in your book it's EXTREMELY RUDE when he doesn't return your calls and no matter what kind of stress he has in his life, there is no good reason why he can't give you a quick call. He's playing you like a fiddle, jerking you around and he's obviously not very interested in you...except as a third string standy by.

 

Get this jerk out of your life. When you see him at work, if you do, just smile and say hello but don't engage him in conversation. He's not worth your time.

 

Your best friend's got a real good head on her shoulders.

 

What a dork...and he thinks you're fool enough to believe his BS. And the nerve of him to tell you that you should be more aggressive in calling him. The next time he calls, tell him I said he can kiss my butt!!!

[yes]

one golden rule to follow is - GUYS CALL YOU, NOT vice versa! It's just so easy to see how he feels abotu you if you let him do all the calling. I personally only call guys if they specifically asked me to call, or i'm returning their call, or I need to ask them for some information. Otherwise - it's upto them to stay in my life.

 

So tell that guy you've met wonderful men who actually call you themselves, and that you've finally learned how great it feels to deal with polite people, and that he can go to hell! By the way, more than likely, he will start calling you after that. But, having seen his true face, don't give in! He's past past past.

 

Oh, and about getting along so well, etc - I know how that feels; but when some time goes by, you'll see all his flaws. You're not seeing him clearly right now. Give it time, and you'll say - phew, thank god he's gone.

 

best of luck,

-yes

[ThisGirlNameKD]

This guy sounds like he's full of crap. He wants you to continue calling him even if he doesn't respond at certain times? What kind of mess is that? Your friend is right. If he's interested he would make more of an effort to call you, you shouldn't have to do all the calling.

[Toni50]

It sounds like this guy may have some things going on in his life that he hasn't shared. His unavailability may have to do with another relationship or some problem in his life you are unaware of.

 

The bottom line is that he doesn't follow through. You can't count on him to call when he said he would. He seems unreachable at times.

 

Maybe you should ask yourself if he is more attractive to you BECAUSE he is hard to get. Yes, you enjoy his company, etc., but is there more?

This one could, at the very least, waste your time. At the most, he could break your heart.

 

Put yourself and your needs first and be careful.

Good luck

Toni Coleman

[Leikela]

[color=indigo]

The fact that he doesn't call regularly and claims to have a lot going on, regardless of what reasons, indicates that he isn't ready for a relationship anyway.

 

If he calls you again, tell him to look you up when he has sorted out the issues he is going through. However, it does sound as though he is just jerking you around anyway. He's not worth it. Find someone who is ready to give you what you need.

[/color]

[sheeba]

no matter WHAT i have going on in my life-if i want to pick up the phone i MAKE time. lose this bozo and go to greener pastures:)