kitty99b Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 I met this guy about two months ago, we got along pretty well. We had much in commun and go to the same university. Anyways, we went out on five dates and only on the last one did he kiss me. After that he stopped calling and didnt answer my calls. Now after a month and a half without any contact he sent me a text asking me to come "visit his new place"...What should I tell him? I really liked him but I didnt appreciate the way he simply dissapeared into oblivision. I want to see him but I dont want him to disreepect me again...what can i do? HElp!!
bradford Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 Ah, I would go check out his new place. Maybe (doubtful) he has some sort of explanation he will offer up.. but like I said, doubtful. Not sure why after 1.5 months he suddenly wants you to see his place, but yea, he probably doesn't have a good reason for just cutting you off. Just be aware of that, and go with your guard up...
Arizona100 Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 I would text back "cant atm, busy, call me tomorrow" See if he calls .. And yeah, guards WAY up .. and no kiss, he didnt leave yesterday, it was weeks ago.
Author kitty99b Posted August 6, 2007 Author Posted August 6, 2007 okay..so I texted him back saying "interesting...when?" and he replied "whenever is good" so I said " how about tomorrow night?" because it's when I have off..but he hasn't written me back...should I write him again or maybe call him isntead to see whats going on?
garnet Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 oh no, please do not text him again or call him! You're making it way too easy for him. Disappearing on you and not returning your calls after 5 dates is just rude and disrespectful to you. Expect more for yourself than that. Now he contacts you out of the blue and you jump. Not good. You'll just give him the impression that what he did was okay with you...and then he'll probably just do it again.
daphne Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 I'm afraid Garnet's right. I don't believe in giving the guy a hard time, but I won't answer. I let the silence speak for itself. The last guy I dated disappeared for a few days the first time. Then 4 days. Then 2.5 weeks. After 2.5 weeks, I was ready to cut him loose. He was ambivalent, treating me like ****, and I wasn't happy. I figure he'll know by my silence that I'm done. Once you allow someone to walk on you, you're not going to remove your doormat image.
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 Leave him be, he will only leave again with no explanation.
roxy_1980 Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 Classic flake. Sees you when he wants on his terms. Leaves and no contact when he doesn't. Disrespectful and just plain rude. Not to mention showing a great lack of interest. You may still like him, but he's just gonna play with your emotions. He knows that you like him and is taking advantage of that. He wants a low maintenance gf. Someone he can pick up and drop when he feels like it. He'll never change. Cut your losses before you get too involved.
Author kitty99b Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 well I tohught if I could only see him again that I then would be able to express my feelings in person. so I agreed to come over his place last night, when I was almost there I got lost and called for directions and you know what happened? He told he had completely forgotten about our "date" and that he had made other plans and couldnt see me (though knowing I was on my way to his house). I was crushed!!
Author kitty99b Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 I am thinking of leaving a not so nice message on his answer machine, I dont want him to walk away without knowing how he's made me feel...would it make a diff anyways?
Krytellan Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 If you respond to him and go see his place he knows that he "owns" you and that you are willing to be disrespected.
Capricciosa Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I'm so sorry that he treated you that way. He is not worth wasting any more breath on. I know how easy it is to get caught up in wanting to set things straight when we feel mistreated or rejected. But you will only feel worse with more contact with him because you obviously still want something from him and he's obviously not willing to give it. Why not go out with some friends today, people who like you and treat you well, and forget this guy. Not cool at all:mad:.
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I am thinking of leaving a not so nice message on his answer machine, I dont want him to walk away without knowing how he's made me feel...would it make a diff anyways? Keep the thought to yourself, why do you want to fling your feelings over him? He is not worth it. DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR PICK UP HE'S CALLS.
Arizona100 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 well I tohught if I could only see him again that I then would be able to express my feelings in person. so I agreed to come over his place last night, when I was almost there I got lost and called for directions and you know what happened? He told he had completely forgotten about our "date" and that he had made other plans and couldnt see me (though knowing I was on my way to his house). I was crushed!! No don't. And if he was to call/text again I would go something like (cheerful calm tone just to piss him off lol) "Hey I think it's better if you don't call me anymore, bye." Hang up. I know you want to tell him how much of a f*** jerk he is, but believe me, he knows he is ... You on the other hand want to preserve your self estime.
Author kitty99b Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 Thank y'all for the advices...it made me realize what a fool I was and what a jerk he was!! Well...I couldn't resist calling him though...so this morning I called and he (surprising) actually picked up the phone and listened to me the whole time. and he kept saying he was sorry over and over again and in the end he offered to make it up to me!! and I said "not in this lifetime". I learned a important lesson if I don't respect myself then no man will. No matter how handsome or well off he might be...he's got to respect me. I hope this guy learned a lesson through me and in the future will think twice before he does a woman wrong like that:)
shadowplay Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Kitty, I'm glad to hear you stood up for yourself! I'm curious to know, though, what explanation he offered for his actions..?
Author kitty99b Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 in the beggining of your conversation he used some pretty lame excuses like "I didn't know what today was", "I forgot it"..but he ended it with a bunch of "I'm sorry" which served him well. Who would have thought that "to get him" all I had to do was "not to be nice". I bet if I had stood him up he would he would be head over hills by now....men!!!apparently they like women that know how to put them in their places...
bradford Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 men!!!apparently they like women that know how to put them in their places... Only the insecure ones kitty... a real man does nothing of the sort That's what you need to find; you sound like a great girl. Hang in there. Well done telling him off though. Typical POS (piece of ****). Sadly, though he probably didn't learn a thing and is too bloody self involved to even realize what he's missing. Oh well, nothing you can do about that. You did the right thing. bradford
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