katiebour Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 By a guy who came into the convenience store where I am working. He came in, dirty clothes, hat, looked like late 30's early 40's, and asked, "I thought there was a blond girl working here." When I politely replied that we have several blond girls who do work here, he said "Oh, you changed your hair, it's dark now. But you're still a babe" and did that look-up-look-down undressing-you-mentally look. I played it cool, laughed it off and said thanks. I went to go walk behind the counter, and he says, "I need to use your bathroom, where is it?" Now this is a small store, and the bathroom is clearly in the back. I point at it and say, "Right back there." He FOLLOWS ME around the counter (picture a square counter with an entrance opposite the cash register, as below) |-----| |**** |****| |****| |-----| I get to the entrance to the counter area, and he says to me "I'm from Such-and-Such town, and I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, you'll have to tell me." I repeat, hoping that he'll go away, "the bathroom's right back there." HE FOLLOWS ME INTO THE COUNTER AREA, trying to chat me up- at this point I'm starting to inwardly freak out. I professionally ask him to get out of the counter area- he backs off to the entrance to the area. He asks me to marry him- I tell him that I have a boyfriend. He says "Let's go to Vegas, I'll marry you, and if he wants to come along, I'll marry him too." I decline. He says, "You gotta go party, to Such-and-Such City, gotta go party." I answer, "Well, not on my salary." He says, "Your salary don't matter, I got your ass covered." I decline. He says, "I'll love you forever..." I politely decline yet again. Another customer comes in (Thank GOD!) and I go into work mode, ringing them up, etc. He walks up to the elderly gentleman customer and says, "I'm trying to get this girl to marry me." The old guy looks at me, looks at him, and says something jokingly. I say, trying to laugh the whole thing off, "Where were you when I was looking for a boyfriend two years ago? I'm taken now, see?" To which he replies "I'm not a boyfriend, I'm a husband kinda guy. You know, I've been married to two beautiful women." I nod nonchalantly, but frankly I'm not impressed. He says, "Now don't look like that, don't look like that!" I say, "What? I'm not doing anything..." More customers come in and finally he goes to the bathroom, asking me "Where is it again?" I ignore him. He stays like 5 minutes in the bathroom, then comes out and gets ready to leave. He sighs and says, "I'm going across the street to have a pizza." I reply "It's a nice place, they have good food." The customers leave after I have rung them up, and the guy says, "My name's Rick, and I'm just messing with you." I say coolly, "Right." and smile superficially. He asks me for a hug, BADGERS me for a hug, and at this point I am too freaked out. I give him a hug because I'm hoping he'll just go away. He goes across the street to the pizza place, sits outside for like an hour WATCHING my workplace. He finally gets up and walks off somewhere. I try to call my boyfriend to come and pick me up from work, or just walk me home- he doesn't answer his phone. I finish work, walk out, act confident, and walk (quickly) home. My boyfriend's not here- his phone is but he's gone and so is the car. I have no idea where he's at. Right now I'm sitting at home with my boyfriend's loaded Taurus pistol (with the safety on) sitting next to me. The doors are locked and I'm keeping them that way until my boyfriend comes home. God I hate working there. I can't wait until my full-time job starts up in a month and I can go back to working in a kitchen in a nice, clean, safe university with safe-seeming college kids and nice co-workers. No more evenings and nights working with alcohol, beer, money, and sketchy characters. I DON'T WANT TO BE HIT ON! NOT ANYWHERE, BUT ESPECIALLY AT WORK! I am working!!!!! I want to be treated respectfully by customers who come into my store to buy something or go to the bathroom and then get on with their lives and leave in a timely fashion. I'm there to make money and I just want to go home and be with my boyfriend who I love very much, not to be hit on by creepy people who crowd me and propose and ask for hugs and talk and talk and talk and then run across the street and STALK ME and god-knows if they're gonna follow me home or what. Ugh.
nittygritty Posted August 5, 2007 Posted August 5, 2007 Gosh Katie, a jobs not worth dying over. I hope you called the police after he left. You need to tell upper management or the owner that they should provide security or have two employees working during all shifts for safety reasons. I think you should quit. Screw giving them notice, you can squeak by until your full time job starts at the University, or find a safer part-time job. That's ridiculous work conditions!
Author katiebour Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 Gosh Katie, a jobs not worth dying over. I hope you called the police after he left. You need to tell upper management or the owner that they should provide security or have two employees working during all shifts for safety reasons. I think you should quit. Screw giving them notice, you can squeak by until your full time job starts at the University, or find a safer part-time job. That's ridiculous work conditions! Well, no I didn't call the police. I mean, what could I say? A customer came in, chatted me up, made me feel uncomfortable, then left and went across the street for a while? I dunno, it just doesn't sound like there's any sort of crime there. He didn't come back today, and I felt much better as the day went on and no sign of Mr. Creepy. As for management/security, well, we have a couple of cameras in here. We have a phone. And there's no way that my employer could ever afford to have 2 employees working at the same time all day. She gets a bonus check for keeping her employees' hours below a certain amount, anyway. We have periods of time where other people will come in to stock the cooler, etc., but for the most part it's solo all day long, for everyone. I think that's pretty standard for gas stations/convenience stores. I really do dislike working there, though, and if something else comes up (I had a phone call about a job from the local grocery store- they were looking for help in the bakery) I may very well take it. I'm gonna start taking my pepper spray to work in my purse though- just in case. My b/f wants to buy me a small revolver or something of the like that I could easily carry concealed or in my purse. We'll see if that happens at some point. I'd have to go through all the licensure stuff, buy it, buy ammo, practice with it, etc... Even after 2 years of being with a gun aficionado I have managed to not become a gun owner myself. Although the idea is definitely starting to have merit.
nittygritty Posted August 5, 2007 Posted August 5, 2007 Well, no I didn't call the police. I mean, what could I say? You could say that your the clerk at the convenience store and a man who was acting very suspicious, possibly under the influence of something, came behind the counter and grabbed you on the pretense of wanting to give you a hug, is now sitting in his car in the pizza hut parking lot and watching you and the activity in the store and your scared, could a police officer come check out the situation? You can also request for the police to drive through the parking lot at night. Unless the cameras are being monitored by someone at all times they are useless. There used as a deterrent and if money is stolen, so they can find the person who took it. The cameras won't protect you while someone is hurting you. You carrying a gun to work with you is a good way for you to get yourself shot, don't do it! Enter 911 on your cell phone's speed dial and keep it in one hand at all possible times, it will offer you more protection than your getting now. I know it might make you feel better to carry a concealed gun but if someone pulls a gun on you and you reach for yours, your going to make a nervous, jacked up armed robber trigger happy. You should either quit now or call management to come stay with you or get your keys if anything like that happens again. Does the store have a monitored security alarm with a silent panic button? If not talk to management about possibly getting one. There not that expensive. I hope you find another job, quickly. Even if the money is less its worth the peace of mind and your only needing to get by for a month.
Angelina Nisse Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 You definitely need to get outta there, and fast. El Whacko will probably do a repeat performance - be gone by then.
Hurt & Alone Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 You may want to inform your supervisors of this event. It is not safe to have a young woman working by herself at night in a job that is accessible to so many whack nuts. You can call the police when you feel odd about a situation and basically tell them just that. But dont wait until the person leaves, do it while he is there. There is a reason that we have intuitions.
woodsfield Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 WOW. that's nuts. my cousin USED to work at a convience store until she was maced by a robber. she quit after that. i'm not being sexist here (or don't think i am at least), a women needs to be very cautious working in places like that....men TOO! nittygritty and ange are right....a job aint worth dying for unless you love it. do you love working at a convience store?? if i worked at one or a liquior store, i'd carry a gun and let everyone see it. go wait tables, or something temp before school starts or whatever. that is one of the most dangerous jobs in this country along with cab drivers. both dont seem to be worth the pay, IMO. get out while you can or take you bf's pistol with you to work til you change jobs.
uniqueone Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 No offense, but you're being a little naive. And walking home? Bad move. I would have called the police before I attempted walking home. First, I would inform your managers what happened. (and were they not available to call at the time?) I would have also called the police. Yes, you tell the police that some guy is bothering you and won't leave you alone and he went behind the counter and is now watching you from across the street. They will then drive by and probably stop and chat with him a bit to let him know they're watching him. Of course, this all depends on where you live and type of neighborhood it is. If it's a high crime area, chances are the police aren't going to care about something like that. If it's a nice neighborhood, they'll be there right away. And NO WAY should you bring a gun with you. That is the WORST thing you could do.
Mary3 Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 This is very creepy. This guy is fixated on you. I have to wonder what he was doing in the bathroom soooo long. ewwww.. I don't think this is OVER ! Please tell management you need help and a co-worker there with you. This is a potential setup for a possible kidnapping ! He knows you are alone. You gave him a hug. Now if he is a stalker type he now has you in his sights. Did he look creepy or very normal. ? Either way this man is likely to be thinking about you and could be mentally disturbed ! He wants to marry you ? I say get out of there please and soon ! Staring at you from across the street ? Normal males wont go to these extremes. They might politely ask you if you would go out with him sometime but thats NOT what happened. Seems he was trying to get you alone and has determined you ARE alone and this is a recipe for DISASTER. Please take care of number ONE !~ YOU. Please don't end up on the local news ! Get the bakery job ASAP !
uniqueone Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 That reminds me...I forgot to add.....don't EVER give him (or anyone that comes in there) a hug. This is how they can grab you, put a gun to you, stab you or any number of things. He could even be checking out where the bathrooms are as a place to drag you into after you hug him. He could wait till the end of the night when there are no people around. No hugs! Who cares how persistant he is. Tell him you have to stay behind the counter and that customers aren't allowed behind the counter. Then tell him that you're waiting for your brother to stop by....the police officer.
amaysngrace Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Is there an emergency button behind the counter? If so I would call both your boss and the police dispatcher and make them aware of the situation. And use that button if he starts to creep you out again. People aren't allowed to loiter. It's against the law.
bones Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Even though the event has passed, you should notify the police. His behavior is dangerous. Chances are he has done this to other women and he may already have a record. Don't underestimate your instincts and what people are capable of. I worked in a corporate office with a guy that started creeping me out. He didn't do anything nearly as bad as your guy. None the less I went to my boss and told her. She said he's a nice boy and he just likes you. One year later he was busted by the FBI for pimping, videotaping and having sex with young boys. He was actually a big brother who preyed on young children. How's that for a nice boy!
Mary3 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 You SERIOUSLY need to document this occurance and everything about this man and TELL the police AND your boyfriend immediately. Never ever never give hugs to a stranger ! He sounds lonely and quirky and desperate ! I think his desperation could end up hurting you someday. Would a normal man come into the store , talk your head off , with a scruffy appearance and ask where the bathroom was all the while hitting on you and saying weird things ??, Would he have said :"Marry Me tonite" ?? I would have said "Sorry no customers can use the bathroom its OUT OF ORDER " so he could not have walked back there. I would not have hugged him and I would have called my bf on the cell and started talking to him... Please leave this job !
Author katiebour Posted August 12, 2007 Author Posted August 12, 2007 Thanks all for your replies Mr. Creepy has not come back (thank goodness.) I am still working there until my job starts up in a few weeks. The bakery didn't call back- I guess they didn't want to try and work around my current 2 jobs I told one of the guys who works there, and he took down all the info I could give him on the guy and said he would keep an eye out for him. The store is just a tiny little place- they certainly can't afford to keep 2 people there at the same time when there is only work for one. And of course my manager gets a bonus check for keeping people's hours down- no way she'd put another person on. I never said I would take my b/f's gun to work- I simply had it with me after I got home. Although the idea of carrying concealed appeals a bit(and I wouldn't whip it out of my purse and threaten him with it- if something came up I'd shoot through the purse. I'm not a complete idiot ) I am a long way off financially or emotionally from actually owning a gun of my own. I was actually terrified of guns before I met my b/f. I still have a healthy fear, but I must say it felt good to know I had a loaded pistol next to me. I had to walk home- I live 5 minutes away and hadn't brought my car. It was 5:30pm and still light out. I had called my b/f to come get me but he was at work and the cell was at home. I had to balance fear of Mr. Creepy with the reality that I couldn't cower in the freezer all night. I regret giving him a hug- it was almost like he was testing me to see if I was freaked out by him, and I know that you always present a confident front to creepy guys- that way you don't look like a target. So the hug was almost an "I dare you" thing and I didn't dare back down and look scared. But thinking back on it I would rather have thrown out a "I don't hug people I don't know" or something. But of course I had plenty of time to think about it after the fact. During I was just reacting and trying to stay calm. The manager is a woman and all but 2 of the regular employees are women. That makes about 5 or 6 women that close the store on a regular basis- it's not just me. I can't ask for special treatment. Yes I hate working there and I hope to be able to quit soon. But for now no one will hire me for two weeks until my other job kicks in, and I need the money. Plus they need the help and I would feel bad about just bailing. This is a small town and I don't want to get a reputation as a flaky worker. To sum up- -Yes it's been documented and yes I told one of my superiors. -No I won't bring a gun to work. -No, I can't quit because I need the income too badly to do so. -Yes, my new job starts in a few weeks. -No I won't give out hugs and I have a game plan in mind for any other Mr. Creepies. Thanks all for your caring responses- I will do my best. I appreciate the suggestions but I do have to walk the line between what I'd like to do and what I have to do. I also need to operate in the reality that is the store, and they will not be installing any special security systems or starting a buddy system just for me. I have had a bit of martial arts training so unless an attacker were armed (and possibly even then) I have a good chance of surprising them and getting away. I know a good deal of self-defense and I hit/kick/throw very hard and yell very loudly. Believe me, I will take whatever precautions I can and whatever measures I must to protect myself. But hopefully Mr. Creepy doesn't come back until after I've quit and this whole situation becomes a non-issue.
Mary3 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Everything you are doing is right But just remember if a full grown man comes at you with hard agression and speed its likely possible that all your martial arts training will be thrown in the wind if he is hell bent on grabbing you. Remember he would be operating on Adrenaline which gives amazing strength and along with his determination. Could you carry a stun gun or taser ?. I don't advocate carrying a gun because he may likely get it away from you then you are in worse shape. No matter what he says if he says get in the car DON'T leave the scene even if you have to suffer on the premises. Much better to stay and make lots of noise and fight . Would anyone hear you if you did scream ?
sb129 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 The guy sounds like he is on drugs or at the very least mentally ill and unstable. I would like to say :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: to the following Pistols? handguns? Stun guns? Tasers? Mace? pepper spray??? I knew it was worse in the US than here in the UK but are these HIGHLY dangerous and possibly illegal weapons really necessary?? Isn't taking the law into your own hands dangerous and potentially very litigious? Do people really do that over there? I would have called the cops when he was in the restaurant looking at you, and got a cab home or a lift from a friend. If it has shaken you up this badly then surely somebody would have been OK to come and get you.
uniqueone Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 but I must say it felt good to know I had a loaded pistol next to me. I'm a no-guns person myself but that's another subject. This is a small town and I don't want to get a reputation as a flaky worker. Do you want to get a reputation as a dead one? I also need to operate in the reality that is the store, and they will not be installing any special security systems or starting a buddy system just for me. Then you start your own. You don't know anyone in town? I have had a bit of martial arts training so unless an attacker were armed (and possibly even then) I have a good chance of surprising them and getting away. I know a good deal of self-defense and I hit/kick/throw very hard and yell very loudly. Believe me, I will take whatever precautions I can and whatever measures I must to protect myself. But hopefully Mr. Creepy doesn't come back until after I've quit and this whole situation becomes a non-issue. You know I always thought I was strong...and I am for a woman. By that I mean I can lift and carry heavy things, even lifting them over my head. Last year this one guy I know who is 18 and I was goofing around and decided to arm wrestle. I told him I was pretty strong. I can't believe how weak I felt after he beat me in 2 seconds. So, as strong as I am for a woman, it made me realize how I'm not so strong compared to some men. (another guy --in his 40's--had a lot harder time arm wrestling with me) Anyway, what I'm saying is that it opened up my eyes quite a bit. I always thought I was pretty tough. I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I know you have to keep this job and that it only is for a few more weeks. Just don't take situations like this lightly though. Do you listen to the news? Now that I'm older I read the paper cover to cover and I read of a lot of instances like you've described and the person thought it was nothing to worry about. And don't be afraid to speak up. Don't be afraid to call the police and don't be afraid to tell your manager. You say you couldn't ask for special treatment. Who says? And who says those other women don't want to speak up too? Maybe they're all afraid to speak up as well. And it would take something to happen for people to say "if only they had said something about this guy." If he comes in again, you call the police. All they need to do is show up there for a cup of coffee to scare him off. I'm not telling you this just for your current job but for any future jobs--and for anyone else who finds themselves in a similar situation.
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