BuschBaby Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Over the last 4 days I have done a lot of internet searching about how to regain someone's interest if they are starting to drop off communication. It has only been the last few days that I've learned about 'no contact'. It has helped me so much with not feeling anxiety-ridden about my relationship. I posted on another thread here last night with the details. Anyway, although I am still in the loving relationship, the no contact has helped me in 2 ways. 1) Since we have been apart, I became more focused again on my company, my home, and my extracurricular activity on a women's sports team. I'm not anxiety-ridden because he didn't send me an email today, or call me today, etc, etc, since he is on vacation and unavailable. I feel like my heart and my adrenaline system have been given a much-needed break. 2) he is missing me again like he did when we first met. The last email he sent me he said he missed me so bad that his whole body ached for me. That is definitely a turnaround from his level of emotions before going on vacation. He was pulling away because I was clingy and available to him 24/7. Anyway, I came across a thought-provoking paragraph about No Contact. There are so many different situations in how relationships fail, and I think this paragraph is geared more toward someone who has been emotionally abused and strung along in the relationship, and is still being kept on the side as a doormat. No Contact is used as a weapon of peace to send a final message to the emotional abuser, and help the abusee regain themselves emotionally. I don't know the author, and can't even remember the website I got it from, and I do apologize for that. If anyone knows who deserves credit for this, let me know and I will edit this post and add their name as the author. Thanks. "We want closure which is never going to come in a way that we want, but we can find closure by No Contact. We want to be heard, want them to know the pain they've caused, but they are never going to listen, and if they do, they don't hear the words. What we often miss is the beauty of "No Contact." You are finally saying No More. It is your voice without the words, but they hear it loud and clear as if you screamed from the top of your lungs - "Go to Hell." No Contact is your pure and sweet rejection. It is empowering. It is your last word. It is your closure. It is one of the most hurtful narcissistic injuries you could inflict. They have finally come to understand you know just who and what they are. They know the tricks do not work anymore. They know you are no longer prey or a pawn in their game. It is your last word."
alpha70 Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Yeah, that's a great post. It's very true when they say that the person doesn't hear your words or acknowledge them when you were trying to work things out. They gave NOTHING back. For me and my Ex we exchange a couple more txt messages and she wouldn't acknowledge that she might be at fault or just didn't give a crap if she was. I sent my last txt to her telling her that I wanted an Adult relationship where Adults communicate their thoughts and don't expect others to guess them. I told her that she won and wasn't going to be playing to her needy games anymore. That was the last txt and the last I have heard from her and that was on Thursday. I'm enforcing NO CONTACT and am moving on with my life. It's tough now, but I know it's the best thing.
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