huh Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Sorry to start yet another one, but the one I found which seemed the most relevant (since my situation doesn't involve online dating or an established relationship) was older & couldn't be replied to. Why do people flake (both men & women)? Recently, I met this guy travelling home from a work related trip. We seemed to get along well, did the business card exchange thing and met up for drinks after work one night (at his suggestion so we wouldn't have to rush back to work). Nice evening, conversation flowed easily and he made a couple of comments which made me think he might be interested. We made plans to meet up again today. Which we confirmed the next day. I've dealt with so many flaky people (both in friendships & dating) that I don't consider anything as anything other than tentative until I confirm the next day. I usually say or e-mail, "so are we still on for ...." ? Midweek, I get an e-mail which says he has to postpone because he forgot about a family event which conflicts. Fair enough, these things happen & he gave advance notice, which I appreciate. I understand people have to cancel sometimes, but I really appreciate it when they give notice so I can make other plans. So I replied not to worry about it and mentioned several of the days I already had plans for (as a way of letting him know which days weren't good so we could figure out another day to reschedule). There were only 2 days I mentioned in the email. He replies back thanking me for my understanding and wow, this is a busy month (for me, even though it was only 2 days which weren't good) but we'll figure it out. I respond back, sure, let me know when's a good time for you. Not a word since then and previously, he'd responded to my emails within an hour and usually 30 minutes or less. So I guess it's either a flake out or gradual contact fade. Of course, there's always the possibility he's been kidnapped by space aliens. I'll just tell myself that to make me feel better
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Of course, there's always the possibility he's been kidnapped by space aliens. If his house is now a crop circle, at least you know what happened. If or when they return him, he will be a changed man so don't expect much afterwards. While never personally experiencing this, I understand that anal probes can really mess with your head. As for flaking, take it as a sign that they're not for you. A guy who's honestly interested will maintain contact. Better to find out sooner, rather than later.
shadowplay Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Uh, I hate that. It's one thing if you go on a date and they never call you back, but to make plans like that and maintain contact only to suddenly disappear...why?? It seems so senseless and unfair.
Author huh Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 Trialbyfire, at the crop circles! I'll have to check. Yeah, while I know it's for the best, I still feel a bit of what Shadowplay's described.
Replicant Posted August 5, 2007 Posted August 5, 2007 How do you know the family event isn't still going on!? But seriously that's lame, there are 24 hours in a day. Unless it was something big i'm sure he could have slipped out for an late-late date if you were game. OR why not bring you to the family event even?
Author huh Posted August 7, 2007 Author Posted August 7, 2007 Replicant, if anything, we were/are at really, early stages of things, so I can understand why he didn't invite me to the family thing. So far, our face to face meetings have consisted of the travel meetup where we chatted for a few hours & the afterwork drinks. Among the seemed interested comments, during the after work meet up, were how he thought I looked like I was a fun person (at the airport bar/grill I was relating a news story about a flight attendant who lost her patience & told the mom of a misbehaving kid to use baby Benadryl on the kid) and a conventioneer misbehaving story I'd witnessed at the professional convention we attended. It involved glow cups, but no aliens. When we made the plans he had to cancel, while figuring out the date, I said I had plans for the 11th & the 18th, to which he replied, "well I guess [this weekend] has to be good, otherwise, I'll have to wait 3 weeks." Our afterwork drinks were on a Thursday & he seemed disappointed we couldn't get together that weekend (he had already made plans with one of his friends out of town). One friend suggested I write him a hey, how are you, how was the party type of e-mail without specifically mentioning any plans. I did & he responded asking me how my weekend was. That may just be politeness, so I replied back, but it was towards the end of the workday. We'll see what happens. If it were a regular dating situation with no work element involved, I'd just come out & ask him, but even though we don't work for the same company, we work in the same field, and may cross paths at professional events, so I don't want to contribute to any weirdness. I'm fully aware that if he's interested, he can meet me halfway or he's "just not that into" me. So, I'm going to leave it up to him to suggest plans. Other than that, just keep it light & friendly.
Author huh Posted August 25, 2007 Author Posted August 25, 2007 well, still nothing so I went & put a profile up on a dating site (I had one up, but I'd been taking a break because of online flaking). At least with online dating, I expect flaking so it's not such a disappointment as it is for me when meeting someone offline.
Author huh Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Deleted because I realize I'm being pathetic.
jophil28 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 IF he was interested he would have dragged you back to his cave. THis guy is NOT attracted to you . Keep looking elsewhere.
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