1st meeting after breakup

[melo]

My Girl and I broke up a little over a month ago. She is 21 and i am 27. To make a long story short, she cheated on me and i forgave her and took her back. She moved in with me and now shes confused and needs time and space. I agreed because part of the breakup was my fault from insecurities. I thought this breakup would be good for us. Went in NC and only talked to her when she calls.

 

Heres the situation: she called me today venting about work and i was there to listen and even made her laugh to make her feel better. She texts me right after the conversation stating "thank you for listening to me vent, You always make me feel better."

 

Her family loves me and i think they are upset with her about breaking up with me. Her cousin whom which she is close to kinda went on NC with her and actually told me the family wants to kick it with me. So i went there to hang out and drink with them. She calls me that night after the venting conversation and asks if we could have Lunch on Sunday.

 

What should i do?? if i do go how should i act and what should i say???

 

Those of you in my position or have been in my position please comment.

 

THANK YOU

[sao2]

What are you wanting out of this? What is the focus of this? She should be working to get you back and not the other way around.

[alpha70]

Yeah, I would ask her what her intentions are in asking your out for lunch. Is it to talk things over and have a possible reconciliation? If not, don't bother and tell her you have plans already...this will make her think even more and give you more time to think if she's playing games with you.

[melo]

well today was the day we were suppose to go have lunch. When she asked me to go have lunch in our conversation a couple days ago i told her i will check with work and told her to call me again after i checked and let her know if i would be open. she said she would call and now the day has come i havent heard from her yet.

 

i just sent a text to her politely asking what happened and i wanted to let her know it wasnt cool for her to not call and have me wait to see if we were gonna have lunch or not. i also told her i have alot of important things coming up in my life and i am still having a hard time with the breakup. i told her that i respect her space and time she wanted 100 percent and that i thought it would be best for us not to talk anymore. i ended it with take care of yourself and love you always.

 

Did i handle this fairly? could i have approached this any other way??

[Chinook]

Yes, you handled it fairly and yes, you handled it correctly in my opinion.

 

Until she's serious about showing you and your relationship some respect, I completely agree with you that you guys shouldn't communicate anymore.

 

Also, maybe you need to read this thread to help you in the days to come.

[melo]

thanks for the reply chinook. any other opinions from someone else is welcome too. i read the thread you sent chinook and that was a great thread.

[Hazy]

Dude, you were the one who had to check your schedule and you told her to call you after you had checked your schedule. How was she supposed to know when the exact moment was you checked your schedule and when exactly she should call you?

Does it matter that she didn't call to "confirm" the lunchdate, you could have called her. She probably heard you say the "I have to check my work schedule" rigamarole and thought you didn't really want to go to lunch.

Anyhoo, since you two broke up twice already, and she has moved out, she is not really that into you, dude.

So...just let this one go and forget about her. date others and don't hang out with her family anymore, the relationship is between you and her, not whether her family likes you and misses you and wants to kick it with you or not. Don't hang out with her family members anymore, now that is not cool.

[melo]

its alot more complicated than that dude. cmon now she said she would call me to confirm and sunday morning came around thats when i expected a call. shes the one to break up with me why should i call her at all? dosent she have to work if she wants me back?

[melo]

UPDATE

 

After i sent that text message im getting those feelings again as of when we broke up about a month ago. I also feel a little better hopefully thinking i made the right decision in this, showing her i can be a man and im taking control. I hope she understood the text message and maybe she is feeling some kinda emotion from this. I think it was a good decision to cut off all commmunication, but i still find myself thinking about her. I just hope i did the right decision and kept myself open for possible future reconciliation.

[Penny99]

It's always difficult when you have feelings for someone with whom things haven't worked out as well as you might wish they had.

Only you can make your decisions but getting on with your life is usually a good decision! It needn't shut doors; lines of communication can remain open but don't wait around... enjoy your life, be all of yourself and you'll naturally draw positive events and people into your life. Perhaps it will be this person but perhaps it won't be. Good luck!

[melo]

UPDATE:

 

Here is the situation if you havent read above. My ex never contacted me to confirm for lunch one sunday and i thought that was rude so i texted her and told her we shouldnt talk anymore. So a week went by and i ran into her at a club. She ran up to me and said hi and gave me a nice hug. I talked with her a little bit but did not want to hang out with her so i jus walked by and said hi and ignored her pretty much. My friends and i left early and she was standing by the door. For some reason or hands seemed to find each other in an interlocking manner and she gave me this look like she scared she may not see me again. I told her we had to leave and gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

 

The next morning she calls me to talk about last night and that she missed me. That night she texts me telling me she has my business cards and i should come get them from her. So i did come by to her work but she was busy with a client so we didnt talk much. i brought her pipe back with some weed in it just to be thoughtful and left it in her car. She calls me back and is extactic about how sweet i am and so on and so on. I cut her off telling her i had another call and will talk to her later.

 

WHAT HAPPENS NOW? WHAT IS GOIN ON IN HER HEAD?

[melo]

any suggestions on how i could approach this? anyone??