Ruby Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Why do we meet a guy/girl and fall in love even though we know they are wrong for us? Even when we know that the things they do that drive us to distraction will never change, only get worse? WHy do we stick at relationships that are wrong for us? Why do we try to change someone who will never change as they do not see the problem yet we remain in hope that it will all be ok? Tell me why???????????????
Chinook Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Why do we meet a guy/girl and fall in love even though we know they are wrong for us? Even when we know that the things they do that drive us to distraction will never change, only get worse?Oh Ruby, I know it sucks. If we had the answer to your question, there would be no broken hearts in the world huh..?!!!! But part of it is simple chemicals. The body dumps a whole load of dopamine into our system and the next thing you know, you're hooked. The relationship kicks off and your chemical rollercoaster begins. We're all chemical junkies when it comes down to it
Author Ruby Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 This is so hard My guy came back to me and said all the right things. I love him! I love him but he is wrong for me He is selfish, un-reliable and I fkn love him because apart from that he is so wonderful and sweet and thoughtful (how can he be both spectrums?) why do I allow myself to stay with a guy who I know wont change? He has virtually told me that but I fall to pieces at the thought of not ever seeing him again!
alphamale Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 you should listen to the patsy cline song called "Why can't he be you?"
phyrespryte Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Why do we meet a guy/girl and fall in love even though we know they are wrong for us? Even when we know that the things they do that drive us to distraction will never change, only get worse? WHy do we stick at relationships that are wrong for us? Comfort. Laziness. Fear of change.
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 It is a bit of a bugger isn't it. Always got to fall for the one you can see it not working with or the one who will hurt you. It's a wee bit poo
Author Ruby Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 How can things be so lovely one day and you feel like ****e the next? Love hurts!
Author Ruby Posted September 7, 2007 Author Posted September 7, 2007 And why dont these guys realise that all they have to do is listen and problems could be solved?
Woggle Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Becausw women and increasingly men tend to like a challenge and they think they can change a person. Somebody that is already stable and healthy is boring to them.
phyrespryte Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 And why dont these guys realise that all they have to do is listen and problems could be solved? It's because their minds are hardwired differently from women. Women are wired to be able to communicate their feelings better than men. But then I think talk is cheap. Showing them that there is a problem is more effective.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 And why dont these guys realise that all they have to do is listen and problems could be solved? That goes both ways. Really some poeple get it and some poeple dont. Its really that simple.
underpants Posted September 7, 2007 Posted September 7, 2007 Why do we meet a guy/girl and fall in love even though we know they are wrong for us? Even when we know that the things they do that drive us to distraction will never change, only get worse? WHy do we stick at relationships that are wrong for us? Why do we try to change someone who will never change as they do not see the problem yet we remain in hope that it will all be ok? Tell me why??????????????? This is a good question. Alot of problems I see here stem from this rational. In my early twenties I really did not put much thought into 'relationships' and I did lose a couple of decent guys who, to be honest, I just was not ready for. They are doing just fine and have found wives and have families now. After 30 and a dose of 'what are you doing' I did grow up (a little bit). I have valued each (of the 3 or so) relationships since. However, perhaps I was more invested in the idea of making a relationship work rather then being honest about what I needed to walk away from. I do find that I don't 'need' to be in a relationship and I will put the brakes on before it becomes intimate if I see big flags of incompatibility. I am honest and respectful when this happens and I appreciate the same. However, once I go there it is hard to give up on someone with whom you chose to care about. It becomes like giving up on yourself also. At least a giving up on the hope for happiness you envision for you, your partner and the want for a healthy good relationship. That being said. If your partner is unhealthy for you and you do try to communicate what you need and this is consistently met with no effort or other treatment that does not work to solve problems and make a stronger union. Well, it might be a healthier choice to let go. People rarely change, especially if they can't or simply just don't want to listen and acknowlege the other person involved.
JCD Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Because your needs outweight your self respect.
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