teach1222 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I have been seeing a man who claims he is not exclusive and he was seeing other people-only one that I am aware of-and can't be exclusive in his present situation. He has removed his profile from online dating as has his other female friend has. He has been going to see her out of state every week for the past 3 weeks at least. Claims if he were ready I could be the one who he spends the rest of his life with but next day spends a week with the OW. I have helped him through some rough spots the last 8 months, was a real friend to him although I have not given him money. I supported him through in patient re-hab with visits and taking him things he needed but he did pay me for them. When I told him I couldn't see him anymore as long as he was staying with this other woman 3 and 4 days at a time, taking her to concerts and fancy dinners (he has never taken me to a fancy restaurant) I could no longer see him. The last 3 trips out of state he never told me he was going. Before he went and bragged about all the things he did and places he went. He is in alcohol recovery doing well but because of his addiction he no longer has a regular job and is facing his second DUI court appearance in 3 weeks. I don't think that will turn out well for him and I know he will call me when it goes badly just like he called me when he got drunk and his other lady friend blew him off and went back to her home. I am 2 years post divorce-he is one. I do not drink but have a co-dependency problem because I have always done for everyone else and I am waiting for my turn for someone to take care of me. He has turned everything around and now that I don't want to see him because of the way the situation with the other woman makes me feel (I am obviously not good enough for a fancy dinner out) he tells me my self-destructive negativism shows through. Just a few month ago he told me how positive I have become since the divorce from a verbally abusive cop. Is this guy exclusive or not? I think he is a chronic cheater-2 marriages, many affairs. We were close friends and could talk about anything but I have now broken all contact. Teach
Lizzie60 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 why wonder? why waste your time and energy on this loser... who only USES you when he needs you. Geezzz WOMEN!!!!! I just can't believe all the posts I read on here about the same freagin problems... he's using me... what should I do... is he being exclusive... do you think he loves me... he cheated on me... what now... GEEEEZZZZZZ give your head a shake... ladies... Why do you still even ask those questions... do you think people here will say that he is being exclusive? that he is in love with you... yes you should wait for him... he'll be back and he will be faithful for the rest of his life... REALLY!!! Sorry if I am harsh.... but this really makes me cringe... I wish women were stronger and wouldn't SETTLE for these morons!
jcster Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 You're an admitted co-dependent being used by a (recovering) alcoholic. It sounds like you've fallen into your old pattern, doesn't it? You know what you need to do - so cut the drama and just do it. I'm overcoming my own co-dependent traits, and I can tell you - if you don't run from people like this guy the minute they latch their suckers onto you, you don't have a chance. Drop him and walk away.
roxy_1980 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Exclusive?!? This man is not even close to exclusive!!! The exclusivity situation should be straightened out with the first few months, not after 8 months!!! No-one can be exclusive while seeing someone else. He is STRINGING YOU ALONG FOR SEX!!!! He's treating you like garbage. He wines and dines the OW, while you're not good enough to take out. She sees him more than you do! And why would you let some alcoholic, serial cheater berate you with some pseudo-psychology BS? Leave him. Find someone who is a REAL MAN!
Recommended Posts