funkybassplayer Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 After my break up, it caused me a deep pain, and one that kind of shook me to look at the bigger picture. I am seening a guy who is explaining phychology to me. I was out in the garden and thinking, then it kind of hit home. The breakup is 2 parts, the first, why it happened the second is missing the partner. Ok its nobodys fault most of the time things just happen take my relationship after the honeymoon phase we tend to get closer which in turn breaks down the barriers and in turn exposes the issues. I have some too, but i would not have left the relationship, and i wanted us to work together. She would not communicate with me, just wanted to drink have fun, but in my eyes, the relationship could not move forward. i could not attach emotionally so withdrew from her, and the intimacy died. This she thought was falling out of love where in fact this was us connecting enough to bring down the wall in each other and expose the core of a person. This could have been worked on by communicating and understanding.. She chose the easy rought to find another, where in the honeymoon stage, there is no need for deep talk, which wont set off the issues that bring up the beast in the person. The sad part is that the person we see in the honeymoon stage is the real deal, but they are carrying baggage, that comes out later! but for her is better to go to some1 and start the honeymoon again. and so she wont face her fears. . Ok its no ones fault right? Ok missing some1, i guess you have to remmber them in your thoughts, all the good times, then they will never leave you, and you will always be with them in spirit, rather like my dad who died, hes still with me. close your eyes, talk to her, kiss her remember her face, her hair, she is still with you but in mind, not in body, send her your love, she will get it. The mind is a powerful thing. But if you haubour all the bad stuff you end up with bitterness and what do you do ............carry baggage into the next relationship. Thats why its best really to grieve the end of a relationship, untill you carry no bad thoughts or have forgiven them, before you move forward to the next relationship. ...................just a thought. may help some. Thing is no one knows what the future will hold for any of us, they may come back into your life again as a freind, and no one has the right to tell you if you can have that person in your life or not, (as her new guy said i could not be part of her kids lives who were so close to me) But, guess what? if they do they are inscure, and guess what will happen with this new relationship after the honeymoon ends? ???
frd150 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 After my break up, it caused me a deep pain, and one that kind of shook me to look at the bigger picture. I am seening a guy who is explaining phychology to me. I was out in the garden and thinking, then it kind of hit home. The breakup is 2 parts, the first, why it happened the second is missing the partner. Ok its nobodys fault most of the time things just happen take my relationship after the honeymoon phase we tend to get closer which in turn breaks down the barriers and in turn exposes the issues. I have some too, but i would not have left the relationship, and i wanted us to work together. She would not communicate with me, just wanted to drink have fun, but in my eyes, the relationship could not move forward. i could not attach emotionally so withdrew from her, and the intimacy died. This she thought was falling out of love where in fact this was us connecting enough to bring down the wall in each other and expose the core of a person. This could have been worked on by communicating and understanding.. She chose the easy rought to find another, where in the honeymoon stage, there is no need for deep talk, which wont set off the issues that bring up the beast in the person. The sad part is that the person we see in the honeymoon stage is the real deal, but they are carrying baggage, that comes out later! but for her is better to go to some1 and start the honeymoon again. and so she wont face her fears. . Ok its no ones fault right? Ok missing some1, i guess you have to remmber them in your thoughts, all the good times, then they will never leave you, and you will always be with them in spirit, rather like my dad who died, hes still with me. close your eyes, talk to her, kiss her remember her face, her hair, she is still with you but in mind, not in body, send her your love, she will get it. The mind is a powerful thing. But if you haubour all the bad stuff you end up with bitterness and what do you do ............carry baggage into the next relationship. Thats why its best really to grieve the end of a relationship, untill you carry no bad thoughts or have forgiven them, before you move forward to the next relationship. ...................just a thought. may help some. Thing is no one knows what the future will hold for any of us, they may come back into your life again as a freind, and no one has the right to tell you if you can have that person in your life or not, (as her new guy said i could not be part of her kids lives who were so close to me) But, guess what? if they do they are inscure, and guess what will happen with this new relationship after the honeymoon ends? ??? Thanks funky, I needed that today. Good things to think about.
Author funkybassplayer Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 Thanks funky, I needed that today. Good things to think about. You know it means alot when people say things like that, cos its what lifes all about sending messages that help. for me its hard to wish her and the new chap well, cos he took away my last day with her kids, and left me with a memory of the little girl crying cos i had to go. One that i hope i can put right as time goes by. But i want her to be happy, and if she is then i am.......................sort off!
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