Whatisup Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Hello everyone. I know most people have had a problem like this at some point in their life, this is my first. I am about 16, which makes this all the more harder, and have been dating a girl for well over a year, which is pretty unusal for someone who is 16 (where I'm from). I have progressively been falling out of love with her for about 2 months and without being cocky, i know she still loves me. The problem is, I want out, but i still want to be friends. I have known her since I can remember and we have always been very, very close. Even before we were going out we'd hang out and talk a lot. I would do anything to avoid hurting her and this is preventing me from ever being able to break it off. I've tried making acting differently, but then i notice how much it is hurting her and how much it upsets her and end up back to normal. I stopped doing the things i used to do for her, like telling her she looked amazing and all of that for like 1 day and i felt horrible. I have absolutely no clue what to do. I've tried just doing it, and i get tongue tied or she interupts me. I tried convincing myself i still love her, but then I just think about it and I want out. I'm not happy in this relationship. Please, can anybody help me?
Author Whatisup Posted August 4, 2007 Author Posted August 4, 2007 Why don't you love her anymore? Well, I just don't get excited to see her anymore Everything i do for her feels like a chore now and i think she stopped noticing all the things i do for her. She whines alot about me as well.
Chinook Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Well, I just don't get excited to see her anymore Everything i do for her feels like a chore now and i think she stopped noticing all the things i do for her. She whines alot about me as well. I don't think you fell out of love with her or her with you... your relationship in it's current format is going through a series of changes. Everything changes in life, nothing stays the same and so it goes with love, it is not always sweet and happy. Sometimes we have to compromise for those we love. Look back at what you wrote... you want to do and say things for your own gratification but you don't because you're afraid of hurting the person you love - that demonstrates more love than some men who've been well practiced at relationships for decades know how to show. Why don't you sit her down and tell her you're worried about your relationship...? Talk to her. It may be that she has concerns too. But it may also be that your relationship does change again, to be one where you will not be romantic partners any longer.
Author Whatisup Posted August 4, 2007 Author Posted August 4, 2007 I don't think you fell out of love with her or her with you... your relationship in it's current format is going through a series of changes. Everything changes in life, nothing stays the same and so it goes with love, it is not always sweet and happy. Sometimes we have to compromise for those we love. Look back at what you wrote... you want to do and say things for your own gratification but you don't because you're afraid of hurting the person you love - that demonstrates more love than some men who've been well practiced at relationships for decades know how to show. Why don't you sit her down and tell her you're worried about your relationship...? Talk to her. It may be that she has concerns too. But it may also be that your relationship does change again, to be one where you will not be romantic partners any longer. The thing is, is that I have talked to her about things like this. She never really gets the point... and it always turns into something awful. Last time, she just started crying and saying how much she loved me. Nothing even changed. She didn't answer any of my worries and it just left me feeling guilty for bringing stuff up. Its happened more than once.
Chinook Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 The thing is, is that I have talked to her about things like this. She never really gets the point... and it always turns into something awful. Last time, she just started crying and saying how much she loved me. Nothing even changed. She didn't answer any of my worries and it just left me feeling guilty for bringing stuff up. Its happened more than once.Well, if that's how it is, I think really you have to make a decision for you. You have to decide whether you will let her hold you to ransom or whether you will make a decision and move on. It will be hard whatever you decide. It seems to me that your choice is to either accept the way things are, with their ups and downs... or end things and move on with your life. If you truly feel that you don't love her any longer, then I do think it is best to let her know and to give her the opportunity to find someone who can love her. Of course it's going to hurt her, but imagine how much more hurt there will be if you guys go to college and University, get jobs and lives and at some point it all falls apart then..? The only thing I would caution you in is to be sure it is what you really actually want to do. It's not something you can take back when you emotionally hurt someone like this and it can have long lasting repercussions.
Lyssa Posted August 4, 2007 Posted August 4, 2007 Hello everyone. I know most people have had a problem like this at some point in their life, this is my first. I am about 16, which makes this all the more harder, and have been dating a girl for well over a year, which is pretty unusal for someone who is 16 (where I'm from). I have progressively been falling out of love with her for about 2 months and without being cocky, i know she still loves me. The problem is, I want out, but i still want to be friends. I have known her since I can remember and we have always been very, very close. Even before we were going out we'd hang out and talk a lot. I would do anything to avoid hurting her and this is preventing me from ever being able to break it off. I've tried making acting differently, but then i notice how much it is hurting her and how much it upsets her and end up back to normal. I stopped doing the things i used to do for her, like telling her she looked amazing and all of that for like 1 day and i felt horrible. I have absolutely no clue what to do. I've tried just doing it, and i get tongue tied or she interupts me. I tried convincing myself i still love her, but then I just think about it and I want out. I'm not happy in this relationship. Please, can anybody help me? I wouldn't stay if I were you. It will only hurt the both of you along the way. Yes, telling her you want out will hurt her... but it's better than staying with someone you don't love anymore just for the sake of making her feel better...
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