tom27 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I've gone out with this girl three times now, I can tell she is interested. We talk on the phone every couple days and online occasionally. Except recently when I call her she'll tell me she's at dinner with her parents or with her friends, etc. We'll talk for a small while and then she'll ask if she can call me back later. Oddly enough, she never calls me back. Granted, she knows I go to sleep early during the week. I usually end up calling her the next afternoon saying, hey I didn't get your call last night. She apologizes and says she figured I was asleep.... A lot has been on my mind lately. Also, do most girls expect a kiss in the first few dates? I've noticed her giving me signals that she wants to be kissed, but I am a real stickler for having things go right and I'm waiting for the right moment. I'm the kind of guy that appreciates my girl/girl friend just for her company and spending time with her, and that's what a lot of girls like about me. But I'm afraid that because I wait so long to start doing anything seriously intimate that I might be losing this current girl. Thanks for the help.
Lyssa Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I've gone out with this girl three times now, I can tell she is interested. We talk on the phone every couple days and online occasionally. Except recently when I call her she'll tell me she's at dinner with her parents or with her friends, etc. We'll talk for a small while and then she'll ask if she can call me back later. Oddly enough, she never calls me back. Granted, she knows I go to sleep early during the week. I usually end up calling her the next afternoon saying, hey I didn't get your call last night. She apologizes and says she figured I was asleep.... I'm going to be honest with you because I am answering this through my own experience. I had gone out with some guys who are in your position. He'd call me during the time when I was with family, at work or in the middle of something. I would say I'd call back but I ended up either forgetting about it or just don't call. Why? Because I wasn't THAT interested in him to want to talk to him again. Then again, that usually happens after one date. Since you've both been out 3 times.. then maybe she is interested? Are you looking for something more with this girl? For me, I wouldn't lead a guy on if I wasn't interested. Most of the guys I have gone out on a date, I enjoyed their company and I would let them know that it stays just that - friends.
Author tom27 Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 Yeah, people keep saying we'd be cute together. She's a couple years younger than me, though. She's more of a partier while I'm more laid back and carefree, keeps things interesting I guess.
Krytellan Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Well Tom, in my experience, this girl is throwing out signs that she is not a "reciprocator" and does not freely think to make effort for someone else. At this early time in a relationship, most people who are in a situation they appreciate will go the extra distance to make sure the other person is getting their best. So two things come to mind: If she does like you and this is her best... ouch. She doesn't demonstrate (based on what you say) an interest in doing things to make you feel wanted. This will become more exaggerated later in a relationship. Remember, this lack of returning calls is her BEST foot forward. Alternately, she doesn't put forth the effort because she just really isn't all that interested. Either way I would tell you that it sounds like if this is bothering you already and at such an early stage, you might benefit from cutting your losses and moving on.
Arizona100 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 You call, she knows you are interested. You call and call back when she doesnt. I would stop calling and let her come to you. If it has to happen, it will. If not..well it wont and you will meet someone else. I am not saying you hav eto play games on her but honestly it's obvious that you are trying and interested, if she doesnt get the message, I dono what to say lol
Rowdy Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 You are definitely giving her more than she is giving you. I think we have all been there at some point and it sucks. When you like someone it is tough to make yourself pullback/withdraw, but that is exactly what I think you should do. When you call her she should return your calls. If she doesn't, then don't rush to call her again. If she is interested she will get a hold of you. You can only do so much. Do you think it is possible that she has placed you in the "friend" zone?
bradford Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Tom.. I don't know, everyone is jumping to conclusions on you. Perhaps the girl just doesn't like talking on the phone. I mean really, what are you going to talk about on the phone that you probably shouldn't be talking about in person anyway? The phone is a terrible waste of time. I mean look, you call, and you are interrupting family dinner and stuff - how disruptive. I would recommend you discontinue calling her, but send her a text instead. "Hey, how is your day? Just thought I'd say hello, hope everything is well; let's get dinner & a movie on (insert day)." Very non-intrusive. She'll respond sooner or later, and if she doesn't, then well, you have your answer. The calls though - when they keep coming might come off as a little too attentive, which is like a death blow for you in most girls' eyes at the early stages. Gotta keep your cool.
Author tom27 Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 Definitely not in the "friends" category. We were planning on going out monday night, but she ended up getting grounded for a few days because she was late with her curfew. She told me to call her later in the week and now we have something set up for tomorrow night. I know she was very interested in me, as her friends were telling me. But we had kind of an awkward date at one point when we stopped by to see her best friend, who ended up coming with us. She always returns my calls if I leave a message or ask her to call me back later. It just seems like when she is occupied her way of saying, "I can't talk right now," is can I call you later, and then it never happens. I think what is happening is I'm not showing enough intimacy. I think it is still a little early in the relationship, but I guess she thinks its overdue. After only our first date, her friend asked me why I hadn't kissed her yet. On the next two she gave me all the signals she wanted it, but I just didn't feel like it was the right time.
Krytellan Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I think what is happening is I'm not showing enough intimacy. I think it is still a little early in the relationship, but I guess she thinks its overdue. After only our first date, her friend asked me why I hadn't kissed her yet. On the next two she gave me all the signals she wanted it, but I just didn't feel like it was the right time. Oh no, a doormat in the making. All you do is show all the attention and get little in return and you decide it's because you don't show enough intimacy? *sigh* Good luck man... I respectfully bow out of this one.
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