boyboy Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 We’ve all been there. Listening to “unchained melodies”, drinking Jack Daniels, and wishing we could turn back time. Even though getting dumped happens to everyone, there’s a right way and a wrong way to handle the situation. Remember the quote, “Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it? I wanna tell a story about twos friend of mine. I want to illustrate how one guy handled the situation the wrong way and ended up being sad for a long time, and another guy who handled it the right way and felt happiness soon. Wrong Way He dated this girl and they were in a relationship for about 3 months. Around that time she decided to leave him gave him the good ole “It’s not you, it’s me”, “We can still be friends” bull****. What did he do when she dumped him? He almost begged for her back. He asked her what was wrong, told her he can fix everything, and asked her for a second chance. She wouldn’t bulge. So then after a few weeks he told her that they could be “just friends.” Everything was fine until she started dating another guy, then he realized he was getting too jealous. He never got her back. I asked her why she dumped him to begin with and she told me, “He’s just too emotional and clingy” Right Way A few months later my friend got dumped from a 6 month relationship. Right after he got dumped he went to me from advice, he didn’t want the same thing happening again. This is what I told him to do. Delete her phone number. If she called him, he’ll keep the conversation briefGet rid of anything that reminds him of her. All the stuffed animals, notes, love dovey stuffDon’t listen to love songs. When you’re trying to get over a girl, you don’t need to hear Bolton singing “When a man loves a woman”Keep yourself busy. He started devoting more time to his hobbies like magic, sports, and his website And most of out, he went OUT. Me and my friends literally dragged him out to go partying every Friday/Saturday night. We made sure he was having a good time instead of sitting in the corner drinking beer by myself. Within 3 weeks he met another girl that he started dating. When his ex-girlfriend found out, she started getting jealous. “Why is he going out with another girl, he should be at home thinking about how he can’t have me.” You guys know how girls can be, so she called him up to talk and try to work things out. What did he do? He told her he wanted to work things out, he had sex with her for a week, and went to the new girl. He was in control and he had choices.
Chinook Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Uh yeah nice advice. I can see how that would work for just about everyone here at Loveshack. Sorry, no offence but I don't think it's your place, or anyone else's, to tell someone how to get over a breakup. There is no right or wrong way. Every situ is unique. For example, I can't see two people having been in a 10 year relationship just going off to shag whoever next walks in their door. If y'ask me avoiding the issues and partying like **** doesn't matter is just storing up trouble for yourself. Don't ask me how I know.
Trialbyfire Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Shouldn't the focus be on strengthening yourself as an individual, letting go and moving on, instead of the "manly" repression of emotions and rebounding?
Author boyboy Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 Uh yeah nice advice. I can see how that would work for just about everyone here at Loveshack. Sorry, no offence but I don't think it's your place, or anyone else's, to tell someone how to get over a breakup. There is no right or wrong way. Every situ is unique. For example, I can't see two people having been in a 10 year relationship just going off to shag whoever next walks in their door. If y'ask me avoiding the issues and partying like **** doesn't matter is just storing up trouble for yourself. Don't ask me how I know. Isn't the point of this forum to give advice? I am giving my personal opinion that I believe in due to experiences I've had and seen other people go through. It's up to the reader to accept it or not. I posted this trying to help because some people benefit from reading about other people's experiences and listening to their advice. Maybe you didn't benefit from this advice, but maybe someone else did.
Chinook Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Isn't the point of this forum to give advice? I am giving my personal opinion that I believe in due to experiences I've had and seen other people go through. It's up to the reader to accept it or not. I posted this trying to help because some people benefit from reading about other people's experiences and listening to their advice. Maybe you didn't benefit from this advice, but maybe someone else did.You know, you're right. It is advice that people can take or leave. But maybe you ought to think how you phrased the original post. Personally I would have phrased it "the easy way" and "the hard way". You see the difference there in between telling someone what worked for you and what is right and wrong...? I stand by my original assertion - there is no right way to get over being dumped. You just do it in whatever way works for you and for me, part of that is as TBF says, improving yourself and becoming more self-aware.
princesskat Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 BoyBoy, i have to say your advice for me was very spot on. I got dumped 2 months ago.... and your right the only way to fill in the gap is fill it in with something else....so going out and be social. I still think of him and know i would get back with him.... but with time things are getting easier. I am now looking for the next lucky man... thank you for your positive note.x
SierraMarie Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Who gives a crap how he worded the post, that's good advice. And in my opinion that is the right way. One question, boyboy, is it okay to listen to breakup songs?
JulieJ Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I think this is great advice for a quick fix in feeling better faster after a break-up and distracting yourself, which is sometimes all you need. This method is mostly a distraction so you don't have to concentrate on the loss, which can make it easier to handle at first. However, at some point you have to come to terms with it, do some soul searching, and come out a strong person...you can't run away from your sadness by boozing and partying forever.
Author boyboy Posted August 9, 2007 Author Posted August 9, 2007 Who gives a crap how he worded the post, that's good advice. And in my opinion that is the right way. One question, boyboy, is it okay to listen to breakup songs? Hi. Something I understand is that we're all human, and we DO have emotions. I've been dumped before so I know how it is. My opinion is to LET IT ALL OUT in 1-2 days. Listen to the songs, think of the good times, eat ice cream, cry your eyes out, etc. Then after that...NO MORE. You've mourned over him, but it's time to move on. By listening to breakup songs, it'll REMIND you of him and set you back. you deserve better than that. Don't go backwards, go FORWARD
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