Ladies I need your advice BAD!!!, i have a date this weekend and don't want to go

[DateAnalyzer]

because of what happened to me in July and I just don;t think my ego can take another beating so soon. This girl just moved to my hometown and is more attractive than the previous 3 girls who didn;t want a second date. So i was wondering in what way can I ask her to be just platonic friends? She is really nice and pretty and I think I can benefit from just being her PLATONIC FRIEND but do you think she will go for that idea? In what way can I ask to be her platonic friend which will have to say-"OK! I'm really not ready for another date right now.

[Touche]

This reminded me of what happened with my husband and I when we first met. I'll explain. I had just moved to the state where I met my H only three days before I met him. Separated from my ex-husband only three days before as well. So I meet this man. He wants my number and he wants to go out. Well, at that point, understandably, dating was the furthest thing from my mind. I was living with my mom and stepdad while I searched for an apartment and a job.

 

I told him that I'm sorry but because of my circumstances, I just wasn't ready for dating and I wouldn't even give him my number. Anyway, he gave me his card and said he understood. He said to forget about dating then but that it sounded like I could use a friend. He even offered to help me move when I found a place.

 

The "friend" comment really hit a chord with me. It wasn't a line. I could tell he was being sincere. I just couldn't forget that. And a week later I called him. We got to know each other and he really became a friend when I most needed one.

 

Of course, the rest is history. We fell in love fast and married 8 months later.

 

All of that to say that I see nothing wrong with telling her that you'd like to be friends. That you don't feel ready to date. But I wouldn't use the word "platonic." Just say you could use a friend now. And then you can see where it leads without the pressure of feeling like it's a "date" each time.

 

This could really work in your favor as a matter of fact because it will relieve pressure on her side as well. I mean, don't think for one minute that we women don't get all nervous and anxious at the prospect of dating. We sure do! That's why, my H's approach was such a success. He took all the pressure and anxiety of "dating" off of me with his "friends" comment.

 

So give it a try. I don't think you have a thing to lose. It's better than flat out, not seeing her at all.

[DateAnalyzer]

This reminded me of what happened with my husband and I when we first met. I'll explain. I had just moved to the state where I met my H only three days before I met him. Separated from my ex-husband only three days before as well. So I meet this man. He wants my number and he wants to go out. Well, at that point, understandably, dating was the furthest thing from my mind. I was living with my mom and stepdad while I searched for an apartment and a job.

 

I told him that I'm sorry but because of my circumstances, I just wasn't ready for dating and I wouldn't even give him my number. Anyway, he gave me his card and said he understood. He said to forget about dating then but that it sounded like I could use a friend. He even offered to help me move when I found a place.

 

The "friend" comment really hit a chord with me. It wasn't a line. I could tell he was being sincere. I just couldn't forget that. And a week later I called him. We got to know each other and he really became a friend when I most needed one.

 

Of course, the rest is history. We fell in love fast and married 8 months later.

 

All of that to say that I see nothing wrong with telling her that you'd like to be friends. That you don't feel ready to date. But I wouldn't use the word "platonic." Just say you could use a friend now. And then you can see where it leads without the pressure of feeling like it's a "date" each time.

 

This could really work in your favor as a matter of fact because it will relieve pressure on her side as well. I mean, don't think for one minute that we women don't get all nervous and anxious at the prospect of dating. We sure do! That's why, my H's approach was such a success. He took all the pressure and anxiety of "dating" off of me with his "friends" comment.

 

So give it a try. I don't think you have a thing to lose. It's better than flat out, not seeing her at all.

 

 

Ok I won;t use platonic, so I will give it a try

[Touche]

Ok I won;t use platonic, so I will give it a try

 

Good luck, and let us know how it works out for you, ok?

[DateAnalyzer]

Good luck, and let us know how it works out for you, ok?

 

 

Ok she agreed, at first I wasn;t crazy about going anywhere tonight because I just felt i didn;t have the right outfit. So all i have to do now is just be dressed in a regular way. this will be one night my personality will do all the work

[jcster]

this will be one night my personality will do all the work

 

You know, this might be a really good date for you! Instead of giving her the "just friends" talk - how about you keep that as the intention, but keep quiet about it, and give yourself a chance to change your mind. I think you're just nervous - why destroy any chance you have of going out with this woman because of that?

[KenzieAbsolutely]

i think it should be fine to say you just want to be friends.

 

if she doesn't want to get to know you anymore after that because she is just looking for a relationship, then she isn't interested in knowing anything about you at all. she just wants a boyfriend.

 

if it's a 'waste of time' for her to get to know you as a friend, what does that say about any relationship you might have had with her anyway?

 

besides, if you only want to be friends, that's telling her the truth. everyone is always crying that they just want honesty, so give her some and see how she handles it.

[Touche]

i think it should be fine to say you just want to be friends.

 

if she doesn't want to get to know you anymore after that because she is just looking for a relationship, then she isn't interested in knowing anything about you at all. she just wants a boyfriend.

 

if it's a 'waste of time' for her to get to know you as a friend, what does that say about any relationship you might have had with her anyway?

 

besides, if you only want to be friends, that's telling her the truth. everyone is always crying that they just want honesty, so give her some and see how she handles it.

 

So true...excellent post.

 

Good luck, DA!

[IpAncA]

This reminded me of what happened with my husband and I when we first met. I'll explain. I had just moved to the state where I met my H only three days before I met him. Separated from my ex-husband only three days before as well. So I meet this man. He wants my number and he wants to go out. Well, at that point, understandably, dating was the furthest thing from my mind. I was living with my mom and stepdad while I searched for an apartment and a job.

 

I told him that I'm sorry but because of my circumstances, I just wasn't ready for dating and I wouldn't even give him my number. Anyway, he gave me his card and said he understood. He said to forget about dating then but that it sounded like I could use a friend. He even offered to help me move when I found a place.

 

The "friend" comment really hit a chord with me. It wasn't a line. I could tell he was being sincere. I just couldn't forget that. And a week later I called him. We got to know each other and he really became a friend when I most needed one.

 

Of course, the rest is history. We fell in love fast and married 8 months later.

 

Awww...that's so sweet.

[Trialbyfire]

Some excellent advice here. Treat your dates like people you'd like to get to know, not just bed.

[Touche]

Awww...that's so sweet.

 

Thanks, Ip. That's really how it went. I was very lucky. I'm really nothing special. I'm full of flaws. Full of insecurities. I was just lucky that night. I met a man who accepts me with all my flaws as much as I accept him with his (few) flaws.

 

I have been harsh with DA in the past. It's just that he reminds me of me, with all my insecurities. I'm trying to get through to him. I'm trying to let him know that even those of us who feel we're "broken" in some way, have much to offer the right person.

 

And that's key, DA. You have to know and BELIEVE that you really do have something to offer a woman. You can be a good mate and life partner to someone. It's only a question of finding the right match for you.

 

Running away though is never the answer.

 

Be strong. Just because this one may not work out, doesn't mean the next one won't, you know? Please keep that in mind.

[IpAncA]

Thanks, Ip. That's really how it went. I was very lucky. I'm really nothing special. I'm full of flaws. Full of insecurities. I was just lucky that night. I met a man who accepts me with all my flaws as much as I accept him with his (few) flaws.

 

Yeah but you we are special Touche, special to him. He could have easily moved on after you told him no but he didn't. He gave you his card and offered to be your friend. Not many guys do that.

[Trialbyfire]

Yeah but you we are special Touche, special to him. He could have easily moved on after you told him no but he didn't. He gave you his card and offered to be your friend. Not many guys do that.

The ones worth keeping will do this. The ones who aren't will move on. Not such a bad way for natural selection to happen.

[Touche]

Wow, you guys. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Thank you. I know he's special.

[IpAncA]

The ones worth keeping will do this. The ones who aren't will move on. Not such a bad way for natural selection to happen.

 

I agree.

 

Wow, you guys. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Thank you. I know he's special.

 

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I was just saying that you have one special guy and that's hard to find these days.

[Touche]

I agree.

 

 

 

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I was just saying that you have one special guy and that's hard to find these days.

 

No need to apologize, Ip. I knew what you meant. I guess you made me realize that I need to stop and think about that more often. Thanks.

[IpAncA]

No need to apologize, Ip. I knew what you meant. I guess you made me realize that I need to stop and think about that more often. Thanks.

 

Your welcome.

 

It's important to remember we have special guys and that we're special to them. They love us and sometimes more than we could possible ever know. Even if some of us don't think we're special or worth it, we are because their with us and not with someone else.

[sofakingmad]

update?

[DateAnalyzer]

update?

 

 

I came home that night and fell asleep by a accident and woke up at 11pm. So we have to try it again this week

[Art_Critic]

.......

[Trimmer]

I came home that night and fell asleep by a accident and woke up at 11pm. So we have to try it again this week

You mean, you had something planned, and you slept through it?

[DateAnalyzer]

You mean, you had something planned, and you slept through it?

 

 

I came home and ate my dinner at 5pm and was going to call at 7pm. But after eating, I was full and the AC put me to sleep and I woke up 4 hours later

[Art_Critic]

What was her reaction to being stood up ? or did you expect to just ring her up at 7pm and ask her out ..

[DateAnalyzer]

What was her reaction to being stood up ? or did you expect to just ring her up at 7pm and ask her out ..

 

She was upset with me and ready to cut me off.

[Art_Critic]

She was upset with me and ready to cut me off.

 

I would send flowers if you expect to continue to date her.. you need to make a huge effort to overcome this huge error.

 

If you send flowers and be good on your word the next time you make a date then all will hopefully be forgiven..

Then don't bring it up again...