what do i do!?!

[fatal2myself]

ok for starters, please don't judge me for my beliefs. i find it very annoying.

 

it's long, i know, and i'm sorry, but its a long story! please help!!!

 

im dating this guy, let's call him "1" for typing purposes. he is absolutely AWESOME! i love him, i really do. we understand each other without having to talk which comes in really handy when we're around a bunch of friends(lol!). he's sweet, romantic, respects me, listens to me, makes me laugh when i don't even wanna smile!

 

 

then there's this guy ("2") that i dated for 2yrs. i loved him too, still do in fact. i would be thinking about him, and he would call. he would know just what i needed at any given time in any situation. we could talk about anything.

 

so, here's the story:

 

i started dating 2, knowing his traditions and knowing that we wouldn't be able to see each other more than twice a month. he traveled around the country with his mom, never staying in one place for a very long time. she did understand that we wanted to see each other more often than not, and she did her best. i understood it all, and went for it anyway. his tradition that i keep talking about was that no two people could date for over two years with out getting their wrists tied (wiccan equivalent of marriage) and if they decide not to do the ceremony, they must not have contact for one whole year. neither of us were ready for that so we made the most of the time we had. then our two year anniversary came along with the inevitable. we broke up and didn't talk for a year.

 

within this year i moved to 3 different places, and met 1. i decided that i had spent enough time dwelling on the past(7 months) and starting dating him. i feel just as strongly about 1 as 2 and it's almost the exact same relationship except for one thing. 2 shares my religion whereas 1 does not.

 

the year of silence between myself and 2 came to an end and i received no contact what so ever. i understood because i had moved so much and personally, i was glad because i thought that the problem had fixed itself. i was not to be so lucky.

 

one day i went to a wal-mart. as i walked through the door, some one shouted my name. it was 2, he had found me, after all the times i moved, after so long. he had waited in that very wal-mart for a week and had almost given up when i walked through the door.

 

now let me tell you how i changed. my hair has gone from red to black, short to long, i grew 6in. the way i dress changed from preppy to goth, and he still recognized me. after a year, i wanted to know how he recognized me. he said it was how i walked. of all things! i would have been less surprised if he had told me that he could see my aura!!

 

i don't want to loose either of them, nor do i want to hurt them. i don't know if i would be able to stand another long-distance relationship, yet i don't know if i can stand to never see 2 again.

 

WHAT DO I DO?!?!

[fatal2myself]

i know i mainly focused on 2 in my thread, but i have a longer history with him, that's all. i really do feel exactly the same when i think of either of them. like i said, my relationship with 1 is almost the carbon copy of my earlier relationship with 2.