norajane Posted August 5, 2007 Posted August 5, 2007 Wise, True, and Insightful. My question is this... why does it take so long for women to figure this out? I thought you gals talked? We do talk. But people often have to make their own mistakes - sometimes repeatedly - before they figure it out and actually believe it.
Author chill chic Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 yea but you really won't know how your truly feel until you've done the deed. maybe he's bad in the sack and that will be the deal-breaker? nah..I'm looking for more substance..going for the heart this time...so it wouldn't matter.
Author chill chic Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 A girl is categorised a minute we meet her. If a guy sees her as a girl who he might date, there is nothing an early sex can spoil. And if he sees her as temporary pleasure there is little she can do about it and holding of aka making "securing emotional connections first" wont help much. I mean its riddiculous to hop in the sack with someone you dont trust, respect, love and to wait and wait with someone you do trust, respect and love. Nevermind. To solve this paradox just dont sleep with any guys early on. OK? Are we clear?! that has been my plan of action. that's why I started this thread, because it's a new thing for me that I'm trying to prove to myself too. and I'm actually loving myself more in this situation geez that is kinda sad to say, but it's true, that I can realize that I deserve more respect from guys and the good ones WILL stick around even if I don't "put out" on the 1st or 2nd date/meeting. I think it brings me back to the situation of my fwb that mostly likely made me perceive myself in that manner, and I'm slowly learning to bring myself back to what a relationship should really be about.
Author chill chic Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 oh and I have another question... how often should I be keeping contact with him? I don't want it to be everyday because we aren't bf/gf, and probably not even every other day. but I want him to know that I care about him to want to keep contact with him as much as I should. we're both good on our contact with each other I'm wondering what he thinks or how often he wants me to call/text/email. and I don't want to be annoying about it either, so what's a good plan?
Author chill chic Posted August 5, 2007 Author Posted August 5, 2007 Yes, but the girl doesn't know how you've categorized her. So if she doesn't care what happens relationship-wise, she might have sex with the guy if she's attracted. But if she does care, she waits to see if he sticks around I do care and that's why I am waiting to see if he sticks around, and he has so far
Author chill chic Posted August 6, 2007 Author Posted August 6, 2007 I think I jumped the gun on what I just told him He wrote me a message telling me that he hurt his knee, so I wrote back something like "awww your poor knee! do you need me to take you to the hospital?" ya know just being nice, and he replied back "I just cut it off" (jokingly) so I wrote back "well I'd still like you even if you only had one leg ;)" and he hasn't written back I don't think he would've been shocked by that comment because I'm sure he has a hint that I like him, but did I say too much? what do I do now??!!!
lino Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 What you said wouldn't be a problem for me, so I don't think it was too much. How long has passed since you sent it? I think you should just wait
Author chill chic Posted August 6, 2007 Author Posted August 6, 2007 What you said wouldn't be a problem for me, so I don't think it was too much. How long has passed since you sent it? I think you should just wait I guess we'll see...it was yesterday I sent the message. so I won't be contacting him again until he contacts me. I dunno I'm just sick of the waiting game that's all
lino Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 Yeah I think its best to just let him reach you. Not so much time has passed & he could just be occupied. I too hate the waiting game, I hate all this game playing, hard to get bullsh*t in general & I'm not that good at it either.
DanielMadr Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 Hey CC, based ony your last postings I would say he is playing some Challenge game or he is not interested enough to deal with your pursuit...to welcome it. I think you should read some of these http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Christine_Akiteng articles. I found it dead on except that one about "make conversation with him, let him guess your name and then walk away without telling him"...I would find it rude. But her general advices are good.
Author chill chic Posted August 7, 2007 Author Posted August 7, 2007 Hey CC, based ony your last postings I would say he is playing some Challenge game or he is not interested enough to deal with your pursuit...to welcome it. I think you should read some of these http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Christine_Akiteng articles. I found it dead on except that one about "make conversation with him, let him guess your name and then walk away without telling him"...I would find it rude. But her general advices are good. Hey thanks that was nice of you. That website is very insightful, I think it will help in some of my situations. You must be a pro at dating after reading those articles....will you be my Ken? hehe
DanielMadr Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Hey thanks that was nice of you. That website is very insightful, I think it will help in some of my situations. You must be a pro at dating after reading those articles....will you be my Ken? hehe When you stop lolling out your tongue, I will consider being your Ken (I like being Gary better) In the end of a day all you can depend on is your gut feeling. It is fine to check your gut feeling with some kind of advice though. I like to read it, because it tells me Im not mad after all. Keep in mind every single person is different so it is not foolproof. And shouldnt be used as dating-manual. And please dont invent some kind of Rules out of it
Author chill chic Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 When you stop lolling out your tongue, I will consider being your Ken (I like being Gary better) In the end of a day all you can depend on is your gut feeling. It is fine to check your gut feeling with some kind of advice though. I like to read it, because it tells me Im not mad after all. Keep in mind every single person is different so it is not foolproof. And shouldnt be used as dating-manual. And please dont invent some kind of Rules out of it ok Gary good advice and I promise not to invent any rules out of it
StandByMe Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 He probably thinks he's not good enough for you. I frequently think that about the occasional women who are interested in me. You're probably going to have to work hard/be clever to convince him he is... even harder if you have nice legs.
risqueclothes4him Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Honey, If you're a hottie and he's not pushing sex there is a major problem. Men need sex to move on to the next stage in a relationship. Either this guy currently has something he's taking medicine to get rid of, he's gay or he's stupid. In either case I say move on and fast.
DanielMadr Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 He probably thinks he's not good enough for you. If he thinks he is not good enough then he is not. Some dont think they are good enough, eventhought they could be. Some do think they are good enough, eventhought they are not. Some dont think that much, they are just good enough. And some even ask themselves if she is good enough for them.
lino Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Men need sex to move on to the next stage in a relationship. This is true, nice guys like sex just as much as any other man I dunno how much you & him have been seeing each other but if you feel that the both of you wanna have sex then I don't really see why you should hold out for too long. Maybe give him some inviting signs.
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