East of Jupiter Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 It has been almost ten years and this woman is still stalking me. For crying out loud! I gave up all of my favorite places and changed screen names. I thought that would be enough. But I made a mistake and posted on a friend's place in my new screen name. Cripes, she must have been waiting for that or checking routinely. I asked my friend to delete my entry but it was too late. Sometimes I just want to write her and give her an update so she will just leave me the frig alone! Tell me please, what the hell is wrong with this woman? No. No contact with husband. Her actions turned him off more than it did me. She is completely obsessed. She told me she would love him forever. But she left out she would stalk me forever. Any ideas are welcome.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 My best defense if in this situation would be to keep an accurate record ... including dates, times and detailed accounts of every incident. As well a list of witnesses (such as your friend & husband). With enough evidence, you can contact the authorities and have it stopped. Also ... do an internet search on the keywords: +”internet stalking” +help IP addresses are easy to track, and you get can legal help with putting a stop to this if it becomes to serious. Meanwhile, be sure to keep a clear head about you so as to not get so caught up that you begin to investigate, track down and/or stalk her. It can easily be traced both ways ... so keep your nose clean.
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 My best defense if in this situation would be to keep an accurate record ... including dates, times and detailed accounts of every incident. As well a list of witnesses (such as your friend & husband). With enough evidence, you can contact the authorities and have it stopped. Also ... do an internet search on the keywords: +”internet stalking” +help IP addresses are easy to track, and you get can legal help with putting a stop to this if it becomes to serious. Meanwhile, be sure to keep a clear head about you so as to not get so caught up that you begin to investigate, track down and/or stalk her. It can easily be traced both ways ... so keep your nose clean. I have trackers and I'm pretty savvy with IP searches and what not. That is how I know she's around. Originally, she was stupid enough to use her work IP. But she seems to also surround herself with equally half-brained women who will harass on her behalf. There is no way to prove that but since I no longer interact anywhere where people would have a need or way to find me, I know its her and her troupe of half-wits. I have in hand her confession which could cost her a lot of grief with her husband but I have taken the tact of leaving her alone in hopes she will go away but man, she is not going away! And contacting her again just brings her back in. I honestly think this is what she wants. Validation. I'm just angry about it but trying to not it get to me and ignore. But there just comes a time you know? I'm going to look into stalking help. I didn't want to do anything that would give her status in my life. KWIM? I refuse to change S/N again!
Darth Vader Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 It has been almost ten years and this woman is still stalking me. For crying out loud! I gave up all of my favorite places and changed screen names. I thought that would be enough. But I made a mistake and posted on a friend's place in my new screen name. Cripes, she must have been waiting for that or checking routinely. I asked my friend to delete my entry but it was too late. Sometimes I just want to write her and give her an update so she will just leave me the frig alone! Tell me please, what the hell is wrong with this woman? No. No contact with husband. Her actions turned him off more than it did me. She is completely obsessed. She told me she would love him forever. But she left out she would stalk me forever. Any ideas are welcome. I suggest that you go over there and kick the crap out of-, oh wait, that's illegal! Yeah! That's right, can't do that. Why the heck do YOU have to give up stuff? Tell her where to get off! Have you filed a restraining order, can you sue her sorry butt? You don't have to take that from no one!
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 I have in hand her confession which could cost her a lot of grief with her husband but I have taken the tact of leaving her alone in hopes she will go away but man, she is not going away! In that case, the letter would already have been sent registered mail, with a request for signature confirmation to her husband. That should at least keep her busy enough putting out fires in her own marriage for a while. Call me a b*tch, but I don’t believe in playing nice with people who play dirty.
Darth Vader Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 I have trackers and I'm pretty savvy with IP searches and what not. That is how I know she's around. Originally, she was stupid enough to use her work IP. But she seems to also surround herself with equally half-brained women who will harass on her behalf. There is no way to prove that but since I no longer interact anywhere where people would have a need or way to find me, I know its her and her troupe of half-wits. I have in hand her confession which could cost her a lot of grief with her husband but I have taken the tact of leaving her alone in hopes she will go away but man, she is not going away! And contacting her again just brings her back in. I honestly think this is what she wants. Validation. I'm just angry about it but trying to not it get to me and ignore. But there just comes a time you know? I'm going to look into stalking help. I didn't want to do anything that would give her status in my life. KWIM? I refuse to change S/N again! First, contact her hubby, let him know what's going on, she'll be sooooo busy, she'll never be able to bother you, I hope! Why are you still with hubby? Lemme guess, you have a soft spot for hard luck cases? I can see why you wanted to flirt with me! A deversion! You're a BAAAD Girl!!!!
Tomcat33 Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Does she contact you or send you distrubing messages? Or is it more a matter that she is there sniffing around? the latter unfortunately is not a crime, it is to her to be so obsessed after so much time. But if she is making contact I don't see why you can't contact her and ask her flat out what the hell she wants. That's not right, get over it already is right!
Lyssa Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Does she contact you or send you distrubing messages? Or is it more a matter that she is there sniffing around? the latter unfortunately is not a crime, it is to her to be so obsessed after so much time. But if she is making contact I don't see why you can't contact her and ask her flat out what the hell she wants. That's not right, get over it already is right! Whoaa - she's a stalker, alright! Gee whizz... some women just don't get it, do they? When it's over, it's over. Move on!! She probably wants to see how things are going with you and your husband. No? Like Tomcat33 says, if she is sending disturbing messages then you can do something about it. She should really just let go. It's been what.. 10 yrs??
whichwayisup Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 10 years and she's still obsessing over this - There is something wrong with her, I wouldn't approach her either because you just never know...... Best thing to do is keep track of everything, any emails, calls, whatever and talk to your H about this, together you two can decide to either get the internet police involved (report her IP, ISP), and/or call the police if you're feeling threatened. Restraining orders can be talked about too, if need be. Maybe for a while it's best to email your friends and not post on public sites that she thinks or knows you post on. It's just such an invasion of privacy!
Tomcat33 Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Maybe for a while it's best to email your friends and not post on public sites that she thinks or knows you post on. It's just such an invasion of privacy! NAhh don't stop living your life freely because of this woman. Don't give in to her. I say if she is contacting you just let her know you are on to her and if she does not stop you are ready to take it to the next step. If she is just looking at your stuff online, that is no invasion of privacy. It's psycho but not an actual invasion. Unless it's something like facebook where you actually have to add friends and she is passing for someone else. That's def crossing the line.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 I would say that any form of passing herself off as someone she's not is fraud, but I doubt that someone with her morals and sense of decency would agree!!!!!
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 Does she contact you or send you distrubing messages? Or is it more a matter that she is there sniffing around? the latter unfortunately is not a crime, it is to her to be so obsessed after so much time. But if she is making contact I don't see why you can't contact her and ask her flat out what the hell she wants. That's not right, get over it already is right! She doesn't have the ovaries to contact me or him directly. She got served so bad you would think she would still be too busy licking those wounds. She sniffs at everything I own. It is not a crime and I can't do a darn thing about it. Other than to change S/N again and give up on the last seven years of work. She does the cliche OW crap of calling the house and hanging up. I no longer have a land line so I cut her off that way. She doesn't date call my cell phone but I think she calls his. He gets a lot of blocked calls. The question is do I just forget she exists and just live my life online and let her get whatever joy she gets out of it? Or do I start over? I've already started over here. I gave up my other forums because I know she is around. (happy to be here) And I have other screen names. But I have lost friends in the process. What would you do?
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 Does she contact you or send you distrubing messages? Or is it more a matter that she is there sniffing around? the latter unfortunately is not a crime, it is to her to be so obsessed after so much time. But if she is making contact I don't see why you can't contact her and ask her flat out what the hell she wants. That's not right, get over it already is right! I forgot to say that she did all of those things in the past and that I have kept all of it including the ISP visits from her work. And I did'nt post it in this thread but her husband is an abusive SOB. I want her to leave me alone but I don't want him to hurt her or their kids.
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 I would say that any form of passing herself off as someone she's not is fraud, but I doubt that someone with her morals and sense of decency would agree!!!!! Honestly? I think she is probably a great mom and daughter and sister to many in her life. She met him when she was very, very young. Her first crush. They never dated. She was an OW with him in HS while he dated someone else. He had a ONS with her soon after we started dating. Keep in mind that when I met him, he was 19. I think she feels that I got what should have been hers. May explain the illogical hate for someone she doesn't know. From the things she told me, I think she has been stalking us long before she made contact with H. To know there is someone out there hating and wishing you ill that you don't even know is creepy.
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 NAhh don't stop living your life freely because of this woman. Don't give in to her. I say if she is contacting you just let her know you are on to her and if she does not stop you are ready to take it to the next step. If she is just looking at your stuff online, that is no invasion of privacy. It's psycho but not an actual invasion. Unless it's something like facebook where you actually have to add friends and she is passing for someone else. That's def crossing the line. She already did that. Even today I got an IM from some out of the blue character. I do not participate in chats or MB anymore nor do I advertise anything anywhere, so when someone IM's me they would have to have picked my name out of millions of others. What are the chances? I don't feel free to talk to anyone online. I even question those I befriended before I knew about her.
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 First, contact her hubby, let him know what's going on, she'll be sooooo busy, she'll never be able to bother you, I hope! Why are you still with hubby? Lemme guess, you have a soft spot for hard luck cases? I can see why you wanted to flirt with me! A deversion! You're a BAAAD Girl!!!! I see I am going to have to be very careful with you. Her husband may hurt her and the kids. I'm not sure why I'm still with my H other than I'm in love with him and we have a good marriage. At least that part is okay. Yes, I do have a soft spot for hard luck cases. Being a part of the "Dark Force" that macho tude and trying to kill your own son will not win me over DV.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 I lost a good friend this way. Couldn't imagine where else the information was coming from...... it wasn't EVEN BAD information.... who knew the OW was following me!
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 First, contact her hubby, let him know what's going on, she'll be sooooo busy, she'll never be able to bother you, I hope! Why are you still with hubby? Lemme guess, you have a soft spot for hard luck cases? I can see why you wanted to flirt with me! A deversion! You're a BAAAD Girl!!!! I lost a good friend this way. Couldn't imagine where else the information was coming from...... it wasn't EVEN BAD information.... who knew the OW was following me! Et tu Brutis? I thought I burned down every copy of the OW Stupid Tricks Manual? So what do you think? Do I just write her an update and get it over with? What if I cut my thumb with my Girl Scout pocket knife and offer to be blood sisters so we can sing cumbaya together? \
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 What if I cut my thumb with my Girl Scout pocket knife and offer to be blood sisters so we can sing cumbaya together? Awww, Geez, dontcha be hatin' on no blood sisters!:lmao: I'm laughing so ard I've become flatulent! What evil men do live after them.... the good is oft intered with their bones... and so let it be
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 What if I cut my thumb with my Girl Scout pocket knife and offer to be blood sisters so we can sing cumbaya together? Awww, Geez, dontcha be hatin' on no blood sisters!:lmao: I'm laughing so ard I've become flatulent! What evil men do live after them.... the good is oft intered with their bones... and so let it be Dem bonz, dem bonz! I may just need help reburying the carcASS.
justice Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Honey, you need to start documenting the incidents and gathering your proof and then you need to get a restraining order. The OW that was in my life did the same thing to me. Finally both me and my now ex h had to get restraining orders because she went balistic. I can sympathise with you and I hope things get better soon. Document and save everything that she does, it will help you.
whichwayisup Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Her husband may hurt her and the kids I don't understand why she is still with her H if he is so abusive and will do harm to his wife and children if he finds out she's cheated on him, let alone do what she's doing to you...
Tomcat33 Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 She doesn't have the ovaries to contact me or him directly. She got served so bad you would think she would still be too busy licking those wounds. She sniffs at everything I own. It is not a crime and I can't do a darn thing about it. Other than to change S/N again and give up on the last seven years of work. She does the cliche OW crap of calling the house and hanging up. I no longer have a land line so I cut her off that way. She doesn't date call my cell phone but I think she calls his. He gets a lot of blocked calls. The question is do I just forget she exists and just live my life online and let her get whatever joy she gets out of it? Or do I start over? I've already started over here. I gave up my other forums because I know she is around. (happy to be here) And I have other screen names. But I have lost friends in the process. What would you do? I'm sorry but I still fail to see what she is doing to you specifically if she is not contacting you!?!? I think she has lost the plot deffinitely, and is obsessed with not letting go I also agree, but I don't see exactly what she is doing to you? How do you know it's her on the other end? What is it that tips you off that she is following you around online? Forgive me but I am trying to understand the situation.
Tomcat33 Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 I would say that any form of passing herself off as someone she's not is fraud, but I doubt that someone with her morals and sense of decency would agree!!!!! Please indicate where EOJ mentioned she is passing her self off as someone else. I must have missed that post. For the record she can pass her self off as anyone she wants, if she is not doing anything further from that ie. contacting EOJ then I don't see that what she is doing is intrusive to EOJ. I can dress up as Madonna and walk around the street, is that fraud? :lmao: Now if I try to sell myself off to a local bar as the real deal and get them to sell tickets for my concert, which I will be performing instead of the real M, THAT'S fraud. For the record I look nothing like her and if people paid to hear me sing they would have to be deaf. But that's another story... :laugh:
Author East of Jupiter Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 Please indicate where EOJ mentioned she is passing her self off as someone else. I must have missed that post. For the record she can pass her self off as anyone she wants, if she is not doing anything further from that ie. contacting EOJ then I don't see that what she is doing is intrusive to EOJ. I can dress up as Madonna and walk around the street, is that fraud? :lmao: Now if I try to sell myself off to a local bar as the real deal and get them to sell tickets for my concert, which I will be performing instead of the real M, THAT'S fraud. For the record I look nothing like her and if people paid to hear me sing they would have to be deaf. But that's another story... :laugh: No there isn't anything she has done that is illegal. Though I'm sure her employer would not look kindly on her using their computers to surf the web. This is not difficult to understand. It's harassment. Plain and simple old fashioned harassment. And while she may have not broken any laws, that does not give her the right to stalk and cause me grief. I could see it after the affair ended but ten years later? I'm creeped out okay? I want her out of my life, is that too much to ask? How do I know it is her? Have you read my previous posts? I don't put myself out there for "strangers" to find me. One has to SEARCH me. I also have trackers and this is not rocket science. I can trace a visitor almost practically to their door. I know where she lives and it is a small town in a rural area. One doesn't have to be a genius. How many freaking people in that town interested in Jupiter? Over a ten year period? Like I have said repeatedly I believe she WANTS ME TO KNOW she visits and like so many of the OW stories I read who can't let go, she settles for haranguing me if she can't get to my H. I was understanding for years but I have had enough. Any OW out there who is behaving similarly and would like to enlighten me? Help me figure out how I can get this over with? I welcome that.
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