wmrjw82 Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Hi all, I swear I have a love/hate relationship with this site but overall i'm really thankful that its here. The advice and the support is invaluable. The problem is i'm always depressed when I have to come on here For those who don't remember me, I was here back in December after my girl had broke up with me. Well, we ended up getting back together after 2 months and stayed together for another 6 months (seems to be our barrier). 5 of those months were great and we had plans of getting married and moving in, etc. etc. Well, to say the least July was horrible. Old issues came up between us and I found myself drifting away because I was so cautious from last time she broke up with me. Plus, I had other things that happened (lost my job) and Iam trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Well, as of last Friday she broke it off with me saying once again saying she's tired of the arguments and that we're "not meant for each other" once again. It's like a never-ending nightmare because I love her so much. Anyways, the situation at hand is that we got a basset hound last November. When we broke up the first time, I was only around the pup for a couple of weeks before it ended so I never really got that attached. Obviously now I have 6 months later. I feel like i'm her daddy. I won't take the dog though because there is my ex's daughter involved and I would never take an animal away from a child. The problem is, I miss the dog and if I don't get some kind of visitation it will end up in a kennel all day while she is at work. The dog hates the kennel and hyperventilates uncontrollably. It should be stated that she does take great care of our dog the only problem is her work only allows for the dog to be out of the kennel when she gets home. I'm confused and frustrated and torn between my feelings of seeing my ex and helping my dog. Should I just man up and let the dog go or should I ask for visitation? (I'm currently not working right now so I would be able to have her out during the days) Admittedly, it would be harder to let go of my ex by getting to see the dog...but if I just say goodbye it's like i'm abandoning the dog! On a deeper note, (and probably weirder), do you think she is wondering what I will do in this situation? I mean, if I decide not to have visitation will she see me as someone that abandons people (even though she's abandoned me) or do you think if I want visitation she will think its just a way to see her.... ugh...please help.
uniqueone Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Hi all, I swear I have a love/hate relationship with this site but overall i'm really thankful that its here. The advice and the support is invaluable. The problem is i'm always depressed when I have to come on here For those who don't remember me, I was here back in December after my girl had broke up with me. Well, we ended up getting back together after 2 months and stayed together for another 6 months (seems to be our barrier). 5 of those months were great and we had plans of getting married and moving in, etc. etc. Well, to say the least July was horrible. Old issues came up between us and I found myself drifting away because I was so cautious from last time she broke up with me. Plus, I had other things that happened (lost my job) and Iam trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Well, as of last Friday she broke it off with me saying once again saying she's tired of the arguments and that we're "not meant for each other" once again. It's like a never-ending nightmare because I love her so much. Anyways, the situation at hand is that we got a basset hound last November. When we broke up the first time, I was only around the pup for a couple of weeks before it ended so I never really got that attached. Obviously now I have 6 months later. I feel like i'm her daddy. I won't take the dog though because there is my ex's daughter involved and I would never take an animal away from a child. The problem is, I miss the dog and if I don't get some kind of visitation it will end up in a kennel all day while she is at work. The dog hates the kennel and hyperventilates uncontrollably. It should be stated that she does take great care of our dog the only problem is her work only allows for the dog to be out of the kennel when she gets home. I'm confused and frustrated and torn between my feelings of seeing my ex and helping my dog. Should I just man up and let the dog go or should I ask for visitation? (I'm currently not working right now so I would be able to have her out during the days) Admittedly, it would be harder to let go of my ex by getting to see the dog...but if I just say goodbye it's like i'm abandoning the dog! On a deeper note, (and probably weirder), do you think she is wondering what I will do in this situation? I mean, if I decide not to have visitation will she see me as someone that abandons people (even though she's abandoned me) or do you think if I want visitation she will think its just a way to see her.... ugh...please help. Ahhh...I've been in your situation. I had two dogs and my ex wanted one of them but I wouldn't separate them. He sorta kidnapped one at one point but I got her back. After the "war" between us cooled down, I allowed him visitation. Thing is, I really wasn't wanting my ex back though so mine is different (I did the breaking up in fact.....he cheated though). But still, since I did the breaking up, that meant that I was ready to walk away and that's different from the person who is broken up with. My suggestion to you would be to have outings with the dog on the weekend. You don't need to talk to her other than stating a time when you'll be picking him up. You should just pick him up and be gone within minutes. The dog will like the outing and they're also proven to help people feel better too.
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