DumpED Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Hey all, I have been reading the posts on here for a few weeks and thought I would share my story. I was unhappily married for a few years to a woman who made a wonderful wife, I just didn't try. Well of course I meet the love of my life while I was still married, and I got a divorce, not just for another woman but for me too. I knew that I could not pretend for my ex-wives sake. So I quit, and after awhile started seeing the love of my life. We had a great relationship even though I was going through a personal nightmare in losing my job, but she helped me and supported me though it. We were together three and a half years, we stayed together and stayed strong for the whole time. She always talked about having a child with me and wanted to marry me soooo bad, as I did her. So I proposed in April of this year and she was so excited I had gotten a great paying job and all seemed to be falling into place. But throughout the relationship we did have our problems, like me not really listening to what she was saying or not taking it seriously at least. So three months after our engagement with not so much as a trigger to set her off I came home one day and got the dreaded "we need to talk" as she sat on the couch crying. She said that she was not sure and needed some time. At this point I had no choice but to give it to her, I mean this is the love of my life crying, hurting, I told her I would do anything for her. She said that she wanted to stay with her parents for awhile and I said ok. The first night without her was hell, she called and I broke down. Then two days later she said that she just wanted to move out and live with her parents. That she's not sure what she wanted. It was hard for me. Through this whole thing she was giving me hope, then taking it away, saying things like I still want to marry you, and just have faith. And I want to see you, but that tapered off within a few weeks. Keep in mind that we were still making love. Then one day she says that she doesn't want to do that anymore. We've seen each other a few times since then just to hang out together, always showing affection. But this last time I just couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't go on in this state of limbo where she tells me that she loves me one minute then says that she needs to love herself right now, I know that she's just going out to the bars and partying and maybe that's what she needs right now but damn it hurts so bad. Sometimes I just don't know how to handle this. It seems that throughout my relationship with her I've lost all my friends so I don't really have the opportunity to go out all that often, and I'm not one who goes out alone. Well that's my story, so far. Thanks for listening.
Goodin Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 SierraMarie that was mean and unjust. This man is hurting here and he came for support not an insult. Dumped - Did she give you reasons why she needs space?
Author DumpED Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 Thanks Goodin, She just said that being with me is not letting her be herself. I guess I didn't let her have enough space, but I never stopped her from going anywhere, nor did I tell her that she couldn't or even, If she said that she wanted to go out with some people from work (all men) I just told her that I wasn't comfortable with it. She said that when she did go out I was crappy with her when she came home, but i wasn't crappy, just a little quiet, and maybe not as affectionate but that was just how I dealt with it.....?????
Lyssa Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 So now you've given her space... what does she want to do? What is it that you want? Work it out or end it? From what I understand from your post - the engement is still on, am I right?
Author DumpED Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 No, she gave the ring back the night she left to "stay with her parents for awhile" Yeah, it seemed pretty final to me too. I don't know what to do, or what I want to do, she left me in a place that I cannot easily afford, with so many doubts that I know not what I do....
SierraMarie Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Okay, I'm sorry, but he had a "wonderful wife" but "just didn't try" then he leaves her for another woman. And then he says he didn't even listen to this girl or take her seriously. Sorry, but don't you think it hurt when you left your wife for this girl?
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