herenow Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 I see many threads questioning why BW participate an OW/OM forum. I can only answer for myself, so here goes. I made the decision to never contact the OW in my situation, but I still had the need to try and understand why someone would get involved with a MM. I didn't want to waste my MC time talking about the OW. It was more important to focus on my H and my marriage. So, I found LS. This is a place were I have been able to get a little insight into the life of the OW. However, I realized, just as I know that I would never be an OW, I know I will never truly understand why others do it. So, I have since given up trying to get those answers. Along the way, I came to know and care for some of the posters. My need to know about the life of the OW has gone, but I still like to come back and check out what is going on with the friends that I have made. If I see a thread that I have an opinion on, I join in on the conversation. Like any discussion, there are people who I agree with and people who I don't. This may be a OW/OM forum, but I don't see anything wrong with BW whose life's have been affected by an affair coming to voice their opinions on the subject. It is a public forum and I think the mods do a good job pulling the plug on threads that get out of hand. I agree that there are some harsh words exchanged, but it's from both sides and part of what happens in these type of forums. Infidelity is a touchy subject. It hurts many people in it's path. Unless you go to a place where they only allow one opinion, you will always find disagreements.
PoshPrincess Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Thanks for your input HereNow. I certainly don't object to any BS posting on this Forum, after all, it is a public forum. It is just a shame there has to be so miuch bashing going on (from both sides), but that's life I suppose. I can understand a BS feeling bitter towards OPs but, like you, I hope the more time they spend on this forum, the easier it will be for them to see that we are not all completely selfish, immoral b*tches (or whatever they may think) and we have feelings too. They also need to see that we are not the OP in their sitch and not the ones for them to vent at (the same goes the other way of course). Most of us here know what we did (or what some are still doing) was/is wrong but we have all been blinded by love. We can admit our parts in the fall-out of someones M and only assume that we aren't stupid enough to repeat our mistakes. I am glad you have moved on HereNow. Well done!
child_of_isis Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Well, I don't know if I am a BS or not, but I hang here because I'd like to help some get out of the MM/A mess and have a decent life. I am shocked that so many women fall for the MM game. I grew up knowing it and was able to recognize it at a young age. My mother kept me informed in those areas. My impression is that a lot of the OW's here are younger women. Which disturbs me because I have a daughter. But, like myself, she was taught the MM game. I taught her the same as my mother taught me. I dunno...maybe I can teach others here as well. That's my hope, anyway.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 There are many posters (yourself included) here that contribute meaningful, constructive discussion... The problem occurs when someone who is not respectful, comes to this forum, that is clearly a support forum for OW, and is degrading and hateful...There is not a need for that...It is not helpful and not in the spirit of the forum... I am glad that you are healing(ed?)...Good luck in everything that you do...
outofdarkness Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 We love ya'll...and some of you give great advice!
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