melo Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 My girlfriend of almost 2 years has recently decided she needs space and time to be by herself and see what she wants. She is only 21 and seems very confused. The thing is early in our relationship she messed around with another guy on me. I found out through word of mouth and was goin to leave her. She insisted she would move in with me to show me that she truly loves me and wants to earn my trust again and that she did not want to lose me. So we moved in together. I have no regrets because we certainly became closer. Now i admit that moving in did not help the fact that my trust for her has been tarnished. Which is one of the reasons why i believed this break up would make us stronger if reconciliation was a possibility in the future. For the last month i kept my cool and did NC and let her contact me. She did and i kept things mutual. I usually would always pick up the phone when she called or if i didnt i would always call her back within 30 minutes. I told her i was going to LA to hang out. Heres the catch, Ive had access to her email and was snooping around and notice she did not email anybody until i told her i was goin to LA. She emails the guy that she messed around with while she was with me. The email was short and simple saying "i miss you booboo" What the hell is that. This email was sent and never received a reply. Now that same night while i was in LA she calls me at 1AM and i know she works the next day. So why the hell is she calling me that late. I ignored the call. Can anyone tell me what is going through this girls mind?? Was she jealous at the fact that she saw me actually moving on? Is that the reason why out of the blue she emails this foo?? Did he deny her and is that the reason why she called me that very same nite at 1 AM??
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Its simple really. She wants to live single, and keep you on the back burner. The question here is: how badly do you want to be someone's back burner default guy?
Author melo Posted July 31, 2007 Author Posted July 31, 2007 well put. it is very simple but yet very hard to deal with. I definetly do not want to be the back burner. The way i see it is i need to just move on and focus on myself. I know what im about to say maybe silly but for those of you who believe in pychics it may not be. My ex has a friend that is a pychic and reads palms and tarot cards. What my ex told me was that the pychic said we would breakup but eventually get back together. There were other small coincdences that came true which made me think. Now my ex really belives in supernatural things like astrology and palm readings and **** but i dont. i think they alter peoples state of mind. Does she really believe that we will get back together?? Was that the reason why it seem like she let me go and thought everything will be ok? Because if she were to come back to me today i would not take her back because i know she is not ready for a commitment the way i am. Even during our breakup she told me to jus put the pictures we have together away FOR NOW. What the **** does that mean?? Its so weird because she has been personally approached off the streets by 2 other pychics telling her they feel a strong connection with her. I know this may not mean sh** but it does make you wonder. One last thing. Is it a good idea to keep things mutual when she calls me or should i just cut her off all together? (which would be extremely hard). We still are close but we are just not on the same page right now. thanks for the response lucreziaborgia
Author melo Posted July 31, 2007 Author Posted July 31, 2007 one more thing, i have never played any kind of games with this girl but ever since we broke up i feel like the games are beginning. i do want to make her realize what she let go (i know her family did). It jus feels so good to see some jealousy out of her because shes made me so miserable this past month.
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Go in NC with this girl, do good things for yourself and she will kick herself seeing what she is missing.
Author melo Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 my ex calls me everyonce in awhile now to see what im up to and how im doing. I know she thinks that we still maybe close but its killing everytime she calls. I dont want to be rude and not pick up but keeping it mutual when she calls is hard. I want to confront her really bad about how i saw her email the guy she cheated on me with saying "i miss you booboo" I know if i did it just really wouldnt make any sense since we are broken up. It just hurts to see that ****. Should i still keep it mutual or not pick up at all or just keep it short and let her go?????
stillafool Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 How old are you? You say she is 21 it sounds like she wants to play the field for a while. If she's goodlooking she finds it hard to not focus on other guys attention to her. I don't think it's fair to snoop when you have already broken up with her. In my experience if you 'seek you will find' so to save yourself heartbreak stop snooping. I think you should go "no contact" for at least a month and see what happens. I don't know why she called you at 1AM but how do you know you weren't the only one she was calling that night. She needs time to grow up.
Replicant Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 She is only 21 and seems very confused. Enough said, let the games begin.
Author melo Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 Thanks for the reply. i think your absolutly correct about her finding it hard to focus on other guys attention to her because she is a very attractive girl. I am curious about what you mean by NC. I havent contacted her once since we broke up. She would always contact me, but she would always be the first to let me go. My question here is, should i answer her calls at all or keep things mutual and let her go first? The fact of the matter is i go for days feeling better without her but when she calls it starts all over again. Ive been contimplating if i should jus come out and tell her not to call me anymore but i dont know how to put it in words to sound sincere and confident. Half of me wants her back but not until she knows what she wants and half of me wants to jus say **** it and see what happens. Any suggestions??
stillafool Posted August 6, 2007 Posted August 6, 2007 By NC = No Contact. If you have caller ID, don't answer her calls to you or return her calls. This will certainly make her curious as to what's going on. If you want to tell her not to contact you anymore say something like- "I'm finding it difficult to move on when we keep in touch. I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me anymore so I can have time to heal. I do wish you the best. Take care of yourself." Then hang up. That thing of calling you and being the first to hang up. She loves being in control. It is so much harder to get over a relationship when you have contact with that person. Your heart sinks everytime you hear their voice. If you want to know if she wants you back you have to go NC with her. This will force her to either 'sh*t or get off the pot'. I just think she is young. At 21 she is just now able to experience the club scene. She needs time to date around before she will get serious. At 27 there are tons of girls out there for you so you shouldn't have any problems either.
Recommended Posts