Author uniqueone Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 Thanks for the link. Looks like I haven't made it yet Hey, don't feel bad....neither have I. And look at how many posts I've had!
tinke Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 i got what you meant. and as i said, i don't believe any offense was intended. also....i couldn't agree more...the sooner the better to quit smoking. i just wanted to add quitting at any age is a good idea. it is somewhat fruitless for an older person with yrs. of smoking to quit, if they believe...the damage was already done.
Author uniqueone Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 i got what you meant. and as i said, i don't believe any offense was intended. also....i couldn't agree more...the sooner the better to quit smoking. i just wanted to add quitting at any age is a good idea. it is somewhat fruitless for an older person with yrs. of smoking to quit, if they believe...the damage was already done. I have the perfect anti-smoking campaign for young girls. Just have them listen to a 45 year old woman's voice who's smoked her whole life. If that doesn't get them to stop.....NOTHING will.....
kittensmittens Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Hmmm.... I have no money right now, so I went thrifting the other day. I found a really pretty vintage skirt for only a $1 (!) and this really unique looking sewing machine cabinet for only $5, which I plan on removing the sewing machine (already have one) and painting the cabinet so that I can turn it into a cute little workspace for a laptop. Then I plan on saving up for a laptop. The computer I have now I shared w/ my ex, so it has a lot of "him" all over it--files he's made/saved, things he's downloaded, etc. And not to mention PORN (and viruses) all over it....arg. The computer is old and bulky and hard to move around w/ anyway, so..... time for a new one! It seems silly, but I think it will help me with the whole "fresh new start" feeling. Oh and going back to the thrifting....I also found a really cute candle holder for only a quarter. I have also been trying to figure out what book to read next and in the meantime I went on a magazine binge. There are a lot more things I want to do, but I'm kind of in limbo right now. But I can say I at least have goals..... *Find a cheap, used electronic piano (since they're light and easy to move) and start playing again. *Get a freakin' job. (I have to figure out where I'm going to live before I do that) *Possibly pursue some modeling jobs. Maybe get a little extra cash while boosting my ever-so-low self esteem. *Meet people! Make friends. My social life is next to non-existant after making the ex the center of my universe (never, ever again!). *Improve my health. Walk, eat more organic things and fruits and vegetables....possibly even join a yoga class. *Save up for a Zune (in light pink!), since my iPod seems to be suffering from dementia these days. *Save up for travel. *Get a new kitten.
kittensmittens Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 For me... it was more about 'finding me' which didn't necessarily equate with 'doing' anything. I think that this is a very good point. I have spent a lot of time just remembering who it is I am. Who I was before he ever came into my life. I'm still in the process of realizing how much influence he has had on me and how much I actually struggled to quell my own desires/thoughts/beliefs that competed even remotely w/ his or caused me to stray too far away from him. I expended more energy (unbeknownst to him) in comforming to his interests, ways of thinking, etc......that I lost sight of what makes me tick, what gets me going. It's not because he asked for that or necessarily expected it....it was just my own desperate and not entirely conscious attempt to ensure that our bond remained intact. So as I said, I've just been sitting around a lot trying to remember myself. If I have a solid understanding of who I am, I'll know better who is right for me. If it's him and he comes back, I'll have something of myself to offer him, instead of just reflecting him. If I'm doomed to stay single for longer than I care to....at least I'll know myself enough to know what will keep me going and keep me happy. There's a lot to be said for reflection, I think.
frd150 Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Yeah I have wondered why I haven't seen posts from you. I do think it's important to "get out there" but I wouldn't discount being online as not being real life. I never could understand why people say that about being online. It IS real life. We're all here...we're all expressing ourselves and sharing our thoughts...how is it any different than a room ful of friends doing the same thing? Only the room ful of friends might not have gone through what we've gone through recently so they don't want to discuss it like we do. Of course I don't think that people should sit online and do nothing else....not by any means. I do quite a LOT with my day besides being online but I know there are people that don't do a lot of other things and that's not too healthy. But I have to disagree that being online isn't real life....it's part of a real life. Yeah I agree. Most if not all of my friends are not dealing with this right now. Although they have been supportive i am sure they do not want to hear about it all the time. So I come here. You guys understand and wether or not anyone responds I will continue to post until I am well and probably even after. You guys have all been great. God to see you back Chinook. Glad you got some time to yourself.
Chinook Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Yeah I have wondered why I haven't seen posts from you. I do think it's important to "get out there" but I wouldn't discount being online as not being real life. I never could understand why people say that about being online. It IS real life. We're all here...we're all expressing ourselves and sharing our thoughts...how is it any different than a room ful of friends doing the same thing? Only the room ful of friends might not have gone through what we've gone through recently so they don't want to discuss it like we do. Of course I don't think that people should sit online and do nothing else....not by any means. I do quite a LOT with my day besides being online but I know there are people that don't do a lot of other things and that's not too healthy. But I have to disagree that being online isn't real life....it's part of a real life.Uniqueone, perhaps I misled you a little. I didn't say that online life was any less real than anything else in life. What I was trying to convey was that for me, right now... it is easier to spend physical time with people. The reason for that is that interacting physically rarely asks that much of us emotionally. For example, I've shared alot more here at loveshack about the things I'm going through than anywhere else, for the simple reason that as you say, we're all drawing strength from each other. But when you're physically in a room with people and there is talk and laughter about things that you do as a group etc, it takes you away from your inner self and your inner demons and sometimes, I don't know about anyone else, but I need that to help me just not to think for a while. I wasn't belittling or denigrating online life at all. In fact, online life had probably saved my life a time or two in the past. I value it very highly...but it does also come at a cost what we share of ourselves and sometimes, I personally need to do that 'caving' thing, where I withdraw into myself away from everyone and everything. I don't know why that happens... but it feels less painful than interacting. That's what happened this week. In fact, today's posts on LS have been the most I have 'talked' to anyone all week. (EDIT: ugh, I'm not sure this explained it either, forgive me for being a little inarticulate at the moment)
Author uniqueone Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 Uniqueone, perhaps I misled you a little. I didn't say that online life was any less real than anything else in life. What I was trying to convey was that for me, right now... it is easier to spend physical time with people. The reason for that is that interacting physically rarely asks that much of us emotionally. For example, I've shared alot more here at loveshack about the things I'm going through than anywhere else, for the simple reason that as you say, we're all drawing strength from each other. But when you're physically in a room with people and there is talk and laughter about things that you do as a group etc, it takes you away from your inner self and your inner demons and sometimes, I don't know about anyone else, but I need that to help me just not to think for a while. I wasn't belittling or denigrating online life at all. In fact, online life had probably saved my life a time or two in the past. I value it very highly...but it does also come at a cost what we share of ourselves and sometimes, I personally need to do that 'caving' thing, where I withdraw into myself away from everyone and everything. I don't know why that happens... but it feels less painful than interacting. That's what happened this week. In fact, today's posts on LS have been the most I have 'talked' to anyone all week. (EDIT: ugh, I'm not sure this explained it either, forgive me for being a little inarticulate at the moment) Hey, nothing wrong with that. No point in dwelling on things all the time. Sometimes you just feel too numb to talk anymore about it.
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