redsox04 Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 I am 20 and have met the girl who I feel could be "the one" and we have been together for around a 1/2 year. Well just like I do...she has a past which included her being sexual with 4 other guys...mine only involved 2. But for some reason I still can't get over it. I think about her with other guys often and it kills me and I get upset and in a bad mood which in turn results in us either getting into a disagreement or fight...but its not like we fight 24/7 over it. We have a great relationship...its just that I have let that get between us a couple times. She knows about it and that I think about it but she says she loves me too much to leave over it and I really don't want to lose her. But then again I can't keep doing this...I honestly don't know why. I mean my other 2 serious relationships ended with me being cheated on so I do think I have some trust issues and am kind of insecure. And a couple times she has gotten a call from a guy who used to like her and she says that there was never anything there and she never liked him and while I believe her it still bugs me that he calls. Any suggestions or anything I could do would be greatly appreciated because I don't want to ruin our relationship. Thanks
jcster Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 You're going to have to get over it. As time goes on, the women you meet are all going to have past histories with men. If you can't separate the past from the future, you're going to have big trouble. Just try and relax about it. When you start to think about it, think of something else. It's going to take some discipline, but it's just your insecurity coming out - it doesn't mean anything more than that.
JCD Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 As a test, ask her to stop talking to this guy and see what her reaction is. If she's defensive then you know she cares about him and not you. My guess is that if you really mean something to her then she will stop talking to him just so that it doesn't put strain on your relationship. It's also an act of maturity that she takes your relationship seriously and not just some fling.
Cobra_X30 Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Yes, what JCD said. Just dont let her flip this around and say you are trying to be controlling... because if she valued you and acted appropriately then you would not have to ask.
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