Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 for some time now i've been wanting to get a sm/med dog. we already have 2 cats, but i'm trying to lose weight and the fact that i would be forced to walk a dog appeals to me---it would give me company while i was exercising..... this is not the only reason: i like dogs & playing with them, plus my daughters want one...typical kids my husband loves dogs---but he wont concede to letting me get one. he says he loves other peoples dogs, and doesn't want the responsibility. i explained that i would be walking the dog since i want the exercise and he stated that if i really wanted to do that, i could do it without a dog.....which, he brings up a good point, i dont need the dog for exercise. however, he wont workout with me, he kinda encourages me but says i'm fine the way i am and that it's all up to me. he doesn't want to get a dog just because of the kids, and that's understandable too. he also feels that the newness of the dog will wear off and that he will end up being the one to walk it & clean up after it. i have explained that he doesn't care for the 2 cats we have, i do, so what's the difference with this LOL. i have to beg & wait weeks before he will clean a litter box. at least with a dog, it's outside. then i got him to agree to a breed, but the breed he chose is $1200!! we can't afford that...and no, he didn't know that when he chose the breed but he just won't budge! he says he isn't saying "never" but he is saying "not in the near future" and not in the next few years. so when the F is it????? i'm tired of the situation. i want a dog, he doesn't. we've been going back & forth on this issue for about a year.......any ideas on how to break him LOL?????
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Why is your husband solely responsible for changing the kitty litter?
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 He isn't. i have explained that he doesn't care for the 2 cats we have, i do, so what's the difference with this LOL. i have to beg & wait weeks before he will clean a litter box. we are supposed to SHARE that responsibility. but i'm the one who does it 99.9% of the time. if i tell him it's his turn, he will put it off to the point that the cats are poopin on the floor and i end up doing it
a4a Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 good chance your H is right. Dogs are more work than cats. Perhaps you H doesn't even want the cats either?
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 he likes animals & he loves our cats. he is a laid back, lazy person. he would want a dog that was as lazy as him, which is why he likes cats better -- he didnt even used to like cats, but i turned him on to them. and he picked both cats. he just doesn't like the responsibility, but my point is, i take care of the cats so what's the difference?
a4a Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Well dogs cost money...... take more work..... more time. Who will pay for the vet bills, food, flea and tick meds, do the training, fix what the dog destroys?
a4a Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 he likes animals & he loves our cats. he is a laid back, lazy person. he would want a dog that was as lazy as him, which is why he likes cats better -- he didnt even used to like cats, but i turned him on to them. and he picked both cats. he just doesn't like the responsibility, but my point is, i take care of the cats so what's the difference? Maybe he doesn't like getting nagged to take care of the cats so doesn't want any more responsibility in regards to animals?
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 If you solely take care of the animals, I'm uncertain why he gets veto power. Have you not expressed this aspect to him or is he in denial?
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 these are all very good points. i had planned on just getting a dog from a rescue or shelter to keep the cost down ( or look for someone who is giving one away due to a move ) i also didnt' plan to get the 1st dog i like, i wanted to be careful about the choice being that we have cats & children. as far as medical costs go, food is like $10 a month, there are plenty of flea/tick/heartworm meds that will last for a couple months at a time. And we have a special charge card for the vet with a $2500 limit (most vets sell food too, so we could always charge that in a pinch) i dont really nag him about anything---he's the type that if you do he will deliberately put it off to piss you off just like a 6 yr old. he's also the type of person who will do what he says he will do, but in his own time---if you dont like that tough. and again, he's the type who forgets a lot. i know he doesn't want the responsibility of the dog, but again, i'm the one who would be walking the dog, bathing it, etc. i had 7 cats & 2 dogs a 25 gal fish tank & 2 lizards at one time --- yes it was excessive LOL but I took care of them
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 If you solely take care of the animals, I'm uncertain why he gets veto power. Have you not expressed this aspect to him or is he in denial? this is true. i have mentioned this to him. at the time it was a heated discussion. he is afraid of a 2 things: having tons of animals again, and him ending up taking care of the animal. i haven't just gone out & gotten one because i really want it to be a family decision i know if we HAD the dog he would love it, but it's getting him there without having 500 fights....i dont want this to cause a rift and yet at the same time we seem to be at an impass. i went to the local humane society today and saw a couple dogs l liked. i didnt hide this from him. i told him that i thought the reason he wouldn't go into a shelter was because he was afraid he'd give in---he said no, he wouldn't. that he's decided not to give in. i dont get this at all.
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 I have to be honest with you Sassy Gal. While I love dogs and will get one, one day, I'm currently not prepared to put in the work to have one. This includes the additional attention required when a dog comes to lavish you with his/her affection. He may be putting forth odd requirements, as excuses to justify simply not wanting one in the house. Is getting a dog worth the fight or are you both power playing a bit?
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 for me this truly is about getting more exercise and having an animal that will sit with me, which my cats dont do. i know our girls will play with the dog all day, something again, that the cats dont do. i have had dogs, so i know what is required. my H isnt putting forth any requirements. he simply likes dogs but doesn't want the responsibility, and doesn't seem to get that i do everything else anyway except the cooking, which his Father does since he lives with us. i do our laundry & put it away, i make the bed & change the sheets etc. he works 12 hrs a day. is this really that selfish of me?????
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Forget the selfish portion of it or that it's a dog. Is [insert item] worth the fight?
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 any ideas on how to break him LOL????? Just bring home a dog..... ahh Honey.. I found this little guy along side the road.. How about a lab ?.. that is a guys dog and kids luv them.. they swim and chase balls endlessly..
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Oh yeah.. he picked the $1200 breed to win the fight.. Low blow fighting... He went for the win knowing that you guys can't afford a $1200 dog...
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 for me, it is. this is not just about a dog. this is about my battle for weight. i have a disease that keeps me larger--i busted my butt exercising & dieting for 5 mos only to lose 4 lbs. my insurance doesn't cover bypass. i'm not huge, but i am overweight. i do not feel that i get enough encouragement from anyone about my progress. no one will work out with me, no one will walk with me, and i hardly ever get encouragement. i feel strongly that a dog will give me not only a walking partner, but unconditional thanks for the attention it is getting from the walk, which will in turn encourage me. since i dont see much weight loss because of my disease, it's important that i feel that to continue working out. gym memberships can get expensive not only for monthly dues but for the gas driving there, plus it's just you working out without encouragement. my husband keeps telling me i dont need a dog that i can just do it on my own--he's told me he would come up with a routine for me, and never did it. i've asked & he just brushes it off. maybe i should just look like an idiot & walk my cat
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 Just bring home a dog..... ahh Honey.. I found this little guy along side the road.. How about a lab ?.. that is a guys dog and kids luv them.. they swim and chase balls endlessly.. we saw a stray on the side of the road last week together in the car....he wouldn't stop Oh yeah.. he picked the $1200 breed to win the fight.. Low blow fighting... He went for the win knowing that you guys can't afford a $1200 dog... he didnt know the dog was that much when we picked it....
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 we have a med size townhome, and we used to have 3 cats, and one died. it's not like we dont have the room---would have to be a med to small dog i think for that & the fact that our 3 yr old gets scared of anything too big....we do have a privacy fenced yard that is about 300sf i think
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 what he really wants is a Husky. but they require a 9' privacy fence and can be large. we both agree a husky would be nice but too big for our house. he would like to get one when we move to a larger home, but we will be stuck in this house for another 10 yrs at least. i know we will because our school system is good and because we have no equity in our home right now. plus we can't afford anything else & wont be able to for at least that long. that's why when i found the breed Alaskan Klee Kai, which are basically mini-huskies we were pretty well hooked. but the cost is astronomical. and even with that dog, he was saying not for a few years at least
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 It sounds to me that he is picking breeds that he knows you cannot have.. Why doesn't he change his expectations a bit and get a dog that fits your lifestyle better ? Having a Wolf Husky that requires a 10 foot fence above ground and 3 foot below ground doesn't seem like a realistic pick to me... You also have kids.. not a wise pick.. Then the $1200.00 price of another.. Maybe you can get him to compromise on his pick because of your kid(s)..
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 he has always wanted a husky but previously we had a beagle. the only reason we dont have him anymore is because we lost our home. this was many years ago and we've grown & matured since then. i dont get it i dont understand what the issue is---he keeps saying he doesnt want the responsibility but if i'm the one who is going to be taking care of the damned dog then what's the issue?
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 i dont get it i dont understand what the issue is---he keeps saying he doesnt want the responsibility but if i'm the one who is going to be taking care of the damned dog then what's the issue? Have you asked him ? I know it sounds like a simple question.. but maybe if he explained his reasoning you will understand where he is coming from. I don't want to pooh pooh your husband too much that I sound like I'm ganging up on him but this seems more like a control issue to me.. one that he is exercising power and control over you.. Like I said.. I don't want to paint him in a negative light because there isn't a lot of info to go off of.. But I see more than just an animal pick going on here.. Just in General how is your marriage and communication ?
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 31, 2007 Author Posted July 31, 2007 our communication is good. our marriage lately is better than ever. we talked about it briefly last nite and he keeps reiterating that he doesn't want a dog tearing up the house & poopin all over it---he said we have kids & cats that do that.
a4a Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 for me, it is. this is not just about a dog. this is about my battle for weight. i have a disease that keeps me larger--i busted my butt exercising & dieting for 5 mos only to lose 4 lbs. my insurance doesn't cover bypass. i'm not huge, but i am overweight. i do not feel that i get enough encouragement from anyone about my progress. no one will work out with me, no one will walk with me, and i hardly ever get encouragement. i feel strongly that a dog will give me not only a walking partner, but unconditional thanks for the attention it is getting from the walk, which will in turn encourage me. since i dont see much weight loss because of my disease, it's important that i feel that to continue working out. gym memberships can get expensive not only for monthly dues but for the gas driving there, plus it's just you working out without encouragement. my husband keeps telling me i dont need a dog that i can just do it on my own--he's told me he would come up with a routine for me, and never did it. i've asked & he just brushes it off. maybe i should just look like an idiot & walk my cat why don't you join a gym.
YellowLioness Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 As an avid dog lover, I've decided to reply to your post. I volunteer at the local Humane Society, and I currently am involved in dog showing as well. Huskies OFTEN end up in a humane society. They are notorious chewers and howlers and they are not guard dogs. They require exercise that is way above and beyond a 40 minute walk per day. Most can easily clear a 6 foot fence or dig under it. Ideally, you should be involved in bikejouring, sled dogging, or pull dog events in order to keep a city huskie happy. Otherwise, you will have a howling, chewing mess on your hands. In regards to the Klee Kais- I don't get what's up with those little guys. Meh, whatever. Get a chihuahua BTW- sounds like you guys need a dog, not a puppy. You can go to your shelter and pick out a dog that's already house broken, kid tested, and is under 4 years old for about $65. I would not suggest that you guys go to a breeder if $1,200 sounds like alot of money to you. In fact, I suggest that most people rescue. Pure breds are for people who are involved in a specific sport (like gun dogs) or those of us who enjoy the conformation ring. Oh, and stay away from breeders who don't title or genetically test their lines and petstores. You wanna talk about veternary bills, sheesh! Anyway, dogs are my soap box, LOL! If your husband doesn't want a dog, then my suggestion is just to do the best with what you can. Maybe you can talk him in to fostering a mother dog and a litter of puppies for the Humane Society. HSs are always looking for foster homes. By the time the puppies are weaned, you'll have to take them back to the Humane Society to be adopted. Then comes in another momma dog and puppies... Anyway, if he's totally against the dog thing, tell him that you'd like a gym membership or that you'd like to join an aerobics class. That way, you wouldn't have to exercise by yourself. Mmm....couple of more thoughts on the whole dog thing: They are a serious commitment. I take my dog every where I go and sometimes it gets to be a hassel. You have to find dog friendly hotels for travel (yes they are more expensive) OR you have to find a kennel to board your dogs (probably just as expensive) while you're on vacation. And the weather is nice now, I can bet where ever you are. But, eventually winter will come, it will be very cold and wet, and that dog will still need to be walked and pottied. You'll also want your dog to be well trained, so that will mean obedience classes (about $60 for a six week class). Then, there's the whole vet bill thing. When I first got my pup, I spent like $300 on her in the first month just for shots, worming, puppy preschool, etc. Then there are toys, beds, bones, food... If you get an older dog, you have to worry about failing health, problems like hip displasia (its over $600 to replace a hip), diabetes, cataracs. If the dog is badly bred, then multiply that... I'm childless, so I don't have to worry about balancing raising a young dog that I can live with along with raising kids, too. I can understand your husband's desire to wait. Its much tougher then it looks to raise a dog. Speaking from personal experience, its VERY frustrating to have a partner that doesn't help with the dog at all because he "bought it for you." I'm the only reason that my dog eats, goes to the vet, goes to obedience classes, gets groomed, gets exercised, gets diciplined, etc... I wouldn't suggest that type of situation to anyone.
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