Lhillenb18 Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Any help or suggestions is much appreciated: So, I will keep this short, last night my gf of 9 months broke up with me. She stated she wanted to be friends until she moved into her apt. in late August, then we could talk about a relationship. She lives about 45 min from me now and her new apt. is about 15 min away. The story is that I stay at school for the summer and I was getting close with new friends and hanging out with guys and girls. She heard I was getting close with another girl and I was getting to be good friends with her, but strictly friends. I never cheated or touched her and we never did anything without my group of friends except for get coffee once because she was going through a hard time. I thought I was just being nice, my gf took it as offensive and last night asked me for the whole story of the summer and I told her everything. She got really upset because I had spent so much time with this girl (even though I live down the hall from everyone). I am honest with my gf and I tell her I love her and want to be with only her. There were rumors of stuff obviously which were bs and it was hard for my gf to believe me. She got really upset last night and said she couldn't be with me becuase I hurt her feelings, when I just thought I was being nice. And before the fight we had a great dinner and a good time just hanging out. Then this. Should I give her some space and call her in a few days to see how she is doing? Any suggestions? I think we will get back together eventually but it is going to take a while. I've told her over and over how much I care about her. She keeps telling me that actions speak louder than words. Thanks everyone.
Lyssa Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 I think your gf is a wee bit too sensitive over this issue of you hanging out with that girl. I don't know but from my point of view, you're doing nothing wrong. Most of the time you're hanging out in a group. What does she expect from you? Not to make friends in school?
Author Lhillenb18 Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 Right, one of her friends said that she heard I was all over this girl (which I was not), and that I wanted to break up with my gf. Then when I told her everything she just said I really hurt her feelings and stuff. I don't really understand. What do you think though? Just give some time and then call her and be there for her until she is ready to start things again?
Lyssa Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 See what rumours do to people?? At this point, your gf sounds like she can't trust you and I don't think a relationship can work without that. You have talked to her and convinced her how you feel about her. Give her some time but do call her now and then just to see how she is doing. By doing that, she'll know that you really care about her... I hope this helps..
Author Lhillenb18 Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 I hope its not a trust issue, and just something that I have to work on about not being so nice and being more respecful to her. Call her now? or do you mean give it some time and call her in a few days? I want to give her space and not push things. Thanks for everything lyssa. It is really helpful.
Lyssa Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 What was it like between you both before all this? When you shouldn't change your personality just because of one person. I'm sure she fell for you because of who you are BUT people do tend to misread sometimes.. our actions and such. Maybe other people saw your being nice to the new friend as something more, but only YOU know it's nothing more than just being a friend. Give her some space and call her in 2 or 3 days time. Maybe text her in between? I personally do not like to be pushed. So it would be good for a guy to give me some space.. so yeah, give her some time off... but not too long! You might just lose her! All the best and keep me updated!
Author Lhillenb18 Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 Thanks so much, I will let you know in a few days. I will prob call her on Wed. and see how things are. Things were great before this so we'll see, just gotta have faith. But yea I am going to give her some space, great advice btw, it really helped.
sonyjay999 Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 no offense either ur gf was cheated on in the past or have seen similar situation turn out to be relationship what u need to do is get to the root of this problem and find out what does she acts like that dont pressure her into telling u this just simply guide her and allow her to tell u this information so that u can improve ur relationship right now she s upset with u i will call tomorrow and see how she is doing if she wants to scream at u let her dont defend ur self it pointless to argue or to make a point it will not be for ur benefit try to find out and ease the tension between u guys
Author Lhillenb18 Posted August 6, 2007 Author Posted August 6, 2007 She called last week a few times and I called her. Stupid me, I misread the situation and confused myself then we fought a little. I need to giver her more space so I didn't call her yesterday and she didn't call me. What do I do? Call her today or just let it go for a while? If you need more details I can offer but basically I got upset because I thought we were working on our relationship and she said we were just friends and I needed time to think.
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