tamtam Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 For over 20 yrs. my husband as been in topless bars, watches porn, looks at naked woman in books,net,any way he can. I try to deal with it. He workes in the beer business and he tells me it is part of his job, to wine and dine guys at work. He had a meeting at work and he would be late getting in. He came in late and had a few drinks, said it was boring and that he was tired. later I found out on the net that he was at a bikini contest,when I asked about it, he said get over it, it's my job. I feel he hurt that he lies to me, it makes me feel that he is doing more. He had promised me 20 yrs. that this would stop and it's an on going thing. Help!
tinktronik Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 For over 20 yrs. my husband as been in topless bars, watches porn, looks at naked woman in books,net,any way he can. I try to deal with it. He workes in the beer business and he tells me it is part of his job, to wine and dine guys at work. He had a meeting at work and he would be late getting in. He came in late and had a few drinks, said it was boring and that he was tired. later I found out on the net that he was at a bikini contest,when I asked about it, he said get over it, it's my job. I feel he hurt that he lies to me, it makes me feel that he is doing more. He had promised me 20 yrs. that this would stop and it's an on going thing. Help! Is it actually part of his job to wine and dine guys as part of the beer industry? I would suspect that your H has a problem , but if you enjoy the fruits of what he does for a living how can you complain about part of the job ?
LakesideDream Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 I have a neighbor who works for a liqour distributor. In addition to millions of posters, and signs, neon displays and stuff that he's always handing out to neighbors he hosts "happy hours" at local bars, casino's, sports bars etc and often invites neighbors to visit them. I'm sure that titty bars are on his list as well. I went to one of the events his company sponsored at a sports bar two blocks down the street. They were selling beer for .25 cents out of kegs, giving away T-shirts and other junk, and there was a "wet T-shirt" contest going on. Kinda boring for me as I'm pretty much a non drinker and the girls were all babies, and I'm 57. I don't know how his wife feels about his job, but he must be doing well, upscale home, late model cars, an RV and a speedboat in the driveway.
Author tamtam Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 Is it actually part of his job to wine and dine guys as part of the beer industry? I would suspect that your H has a problem , but if you enjoy the fruits of what he does for a living how can you complain about part of the job ? Your right, but He thinks it's not a problem, I've ask him to admit to it and he tell me admit to what? I feel he uses his job to do the things at are not what married men do.
Author tamtam Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 I have a neighbor who works for a liqour distributor. In addition to millions of posters, and signs, neon displays and stuff that he's always handing out to neighbors he hosts "happy hours" at local bars, casino's, sports bars etc and often invites neighbors to visit them. I'm sure that titty bars are on his list as well. I went to one of the events his company sponsored at a sports bar two blocks down the street. They were selling beer for .25 cents out of kegs, giving away T-shirts and other junk, and there was a "wet T-shirt" contest going on. Kinda boring for me as I'm pretty much a non drinker and the girls were all babies, and I'm 57. I don't know how his wife feels about his job, but he must be doing well, upscale home, late model cars, an RV and a speedboat in the driveway. the money is great but it is not worth the hurt that I am going throught and I have ask my husband to please get another job, he is very smart and it would not be a problem for him to find a job like this, but not with all the women. I love my husband and he loves me, I can put up with alot but I think I've had enough
Author tamtam Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 this is my first time on and I'm not sure if I'm using the right buttons please bare with me. thank you for your reply it means alot to talk to someone about this.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Tam, God help you. Umm... is he with a supplier or distributer? Yep, pretty much it is his job, though honestly if you are with a distributer there is generally an on-premise team which is responsible for handling the promotions. Generally young, hopefully single guys. It's not a lifestyle for a married man. If he is in management then he's probably entertaining in high end restaurants and some of these people actually appreciate when their wives are invited. Try to encourage this. Also, do you accompany him to promotions? I know it would become tiring but it would atleast get you out there. Sorry, this is not an industry that is good for marraiges in anyway.
tinktronik Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Your right, but He thinks it's not a problem, I've ask him to admit to it and he tell me admit to what? I feel he uses his job to do the things at are not what married men do. Perhaps he does not have a problem , if it really is a part of his job. Is it perhaps more that you are paranoid , have you caught your H cheating? If it is part of his job and he's good at it and he enjoys it is it really fair after all of this time working for this company for you to demand he get a new job?
Author tamtam Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 no I have not but, today I found a picture of his co-worker female, in on his computer in the recycle bin of her blow drying her hair. he told me that it was taken from his camera by someone else and e-mailed to him. he told me a story that her power went out and she was using the office to fix her hair and all the men were making fun of her. alway a excuse of thing that looks suspious, many more suspious tells
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Actually Tam has a point. In this industry there is not MUCH he cannot justify as being his "job". There are not many places that he could not be and justify it as "work". There are teams which are responsible for these promotions, but any other salesmen or manager's can show up and buy any PYT there drinks on their expense accounts and justify it as "work". If you have a problem with it, then the only thing you can do is hang out with them at these things. Then they will get old to him. Many places have a website with calenders of their promotions for the month. That will help you in advance to know where he might be expected to be. I realize if he is in management that he might be required to entertain suppliers but these guys quite frankly travel so much and do these things so often that it becomes very tedious and they don't desire to be in there all night.
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