DateAnalyzer Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I told myself last year that when I go on a date and like the girl I spent time with, once I arived home I would turn off my call waiting and kee it like that for 3 or 4 days so that way I wouldn't drive myself crazy wondering if it's her everytime the phone rings. That's exactly what happen 2 weeks ago, everytime the phone rung I was hoping it was her but for now on I will 4 days and call her. And by me having the callwaiting off, I won't know who called unless they leave a message because whoever calls will hear my voicemail after the first ring. Also when I go to work, I will just unplug my phone so that the Caller ID feature is off and when I come home I would be looking to see if she called. So this is my wacly way of dealing with the CALL THING after a date. Sound Good ?-lol
Ruby Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I think you think too much! Why play silly games and wait 4 days? That is so crass!
nicki Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 She's probably waiting for YOU to call her and is wondering why you haven't. Really, don't worry so much about the call thing. I understand that you want to come off casual, but you still want to be interested. I personally love it when a guy calls me the day after a date to tell me what a wonderful time he had and could he please have a second date next weekend. That makes me think he is interested and good at communicating his feelings. I'm not into bad boy player types who try to play it cool. Give me a real man who tells me he is really enjoying getting to know me and can't wait to spend more time with me. Anyway, the harm comes when a guy turns into a stalker after the first date and calls a million times a day and then proposes two weeks later. If you are doing less than that, then you're good. It's a question of balance. Just remember: show your interest to a woman, but keep it appropriate with the time you have been seeing each other.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 I think you think too much! Why play silly games and wait 4 days? That is so crass! Because I have a bad habit of wondering did she call after a first date if I'm attracted to her. It's something I can't control and it's just something I need to do so I won't be looking at the caller id everytime the phone rings
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 She's probably waiting for YOU to call her and is wondering why you haven't. Really, don't worry so much about the call thing. I understand that you want to come off casual, but you still want to be interested. I personally love it when a guy calls me the day after a date to tell me what a wonderful time he had and could he please have a second date next weekend. That makes me think he is interested and good at communicating his feelings. I'm not into bad boy player types who try to play it cool. Give me a real man who tells me he is really enjoying getting to know me and can't wait to spend more time with me. Anyway, the harm comes when a guy turns into a stalker after the first date and calls a million times a day and then proposes two weeks later. If you are doing less than that, then you're good. It's a question of balance. Just remember: show your interest to a woman, but keep it appropriate with the time you have been seeing each other. I'm going to make it a 4 day process, call after 2 days, leave a message, then wait another two days, and call one more time if I don't hear a message on my voicemail
niceandslow Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 You definitely over analyze the whole dating scene. You need to break all these "rules" you have set because it obviously is not working for you. If you enjoyed the date, why wait so long? I agree with nicki that when a guy calls me the next day, it shows he is definitely interested. You just don't want to end up being overzealous.
nicki Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 That sounds reasonable, and will keep you from obsessing about checking your caller ID. I like your idea of calling her back if she doesn't call you. Things happen, messages get lost, etc....So, I'd try twice, too. Good luck! But I still want to say that you can't have it all figured out perfectly. Sometimes it will seem right to call right away, and sometimes it will be okay that a few weeks go by. Just depends on the situation.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 You definitely over analyze the whole dating scene. You need to break all these "rules" you have set because it obviously is not working for you. If you enjoyed the date, why wait so long? I agree with nicki that when a guy calls me the next day, it shows he is definitely interested. You just don't want to end up being overzealous. If I go on a date on a monday and attracted to her, I will call her on Thursday and leave a message. If there is no message on my voicemail by Saturday, I will call her one last time and leave a message and turn my call waiting feature back ON
nicki Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I just re-read your original post. Are you saying that you turn your caller ID off after a date and keep it off for four days? What if SHE calls you the day after your date? By the time you turn your Caller ID back on, you will be several days late in calling her back...and she could get turned off by that. But I do understand that your intention is to keep yourself from constantly checking your phone. So, if you go out on a date on Monday, you will wait until Thursday to call her? That might be okay sometimes, but not every time. Hmm, I was thinking about it. Most every guy I've ever gone out with has called me the next day, or maybe the day after that. I've not often called a guy after the first date. I usually wait for them to call me and show some more initial interest. (I'll show my own interest during the date and give him the green light to go out again at the end of the date.) But I don't usually call after that first date. If I've dropped enough overt "hints," then I expect him to call me and do a bit of work. I'll call him after the second date, and feel quite free to do so. I mention this only because I think a lot of women might not call a guy after the first date, and be waiting for him to call.....but, it could be just me who is like that.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 I just re-read your original post. Are you saying that you turn your caller ID off after a date and keep it off for four days? What if SHE calls you the day after your date? By the time you turn your Caller ID back on, you will be several days late in calling her back...and she could get turned off by that. But I do understand that your intention is to keep yourself from constantly checking your phone. So, if you go out on a date on Monday, you will wait until Thursday to call her? That might be okay sometimes, but not every time. Hmm, I was thinking about it. Most every guy I've ever gone out with has called me the next day, or maybe the day after that. I've not often called a guy after the first date. I usually wait for them to call me and show some more initial interest. (I'll show my own interest during the date and give him the green light to go out again at the end of the date.) But I don't usually call after that first date. If I've dropped enough overt "hints," then I expect him to call me and do a bit of work. I'll call him after the second date, and feel quite free to do so. I mention this only because I think a lot of women might not call a guy after the first date, and be waiting for him to call.....but, it could be just me who is like that. Ok I will wait 1 day, go on a date on a Monday, call Wednesday and leave a message, wait to hear something by Friday, if not then leave one last message and turn my caller id/call waiting back on and give it until monday. So that's my 7 day process, if necessary
sofakingmad Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 i already got 1 infraction trying to help you no less. you're on your own from now on. lol
roxy_1980 Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 DateAnalyzer, You gotta let up on yourself. You have a bunch of rules for relationships in your head that you gotta get rid of. They are getting in the way of your happiness. If you like her, call HER! The next day. It is expected by many women that the man takes the phone call lead on this one (Yes, I know that's not fair, but who said dating was fair). Your dancing around this fact is ONE of the things that is hampering your love life. (I have read some of your other posts with some of your other rules, so there are other things standing in your way, TOO!) Your rules, although you seem to put them in place to protect yourself, are turning women off. They are being perceived as GAMES!
Star Gazer Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 i already got 1 infraction trying to help you no less. you're on your own from now on. lol Me too. My advice was the exact same as everyone else's here. I guess I'll just have to silently second all the rational advice already provided re: lightening up and letting go of strict guidelines and rules.
allina Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 This, like most of your "dating rules/habits" is absurd. You need to relax a bit, it may make you more desirable because your actions are doing the very opposite. How old are you?
Krytellan Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Sound Good ?-lol Your obsessions with the intricacies of dating = Not being able to see the forest through the trees. Chill out before you blow a vessel. That is all...
Hazy Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Dateanalyzer...don't do that! It is true, you are sabotaging your chances to find real love. If you want to call her, call her! No games! Just like you, women just want love! Not mind games!
Recommended Posts