Lena20 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 ok so heres my story. Where I live there a few small markets that are like Waldbaums or Publix but smaller and they have some speical things that regular grocery stores dont have. One day my mom wanted to go into one of them and I didnt want to go, but something told me to go in. I did and I didnt even notice him standing there, working, but he noticed me. I walked to the back and then walked back up to the front and while I was checking out my food, he was checking out me. I finally noticed him, and we both smiled and I decided to start going there more. So I did and for the past month and a half me and him have been, staring at each other, smiling, he started conversations with me. He had his friends tell him when I was there in case he didnt see me. So then I went away for two weeks and I came back he seemed so happy to see me. So I decided to give him my number, he seemed so happy. I gave it to him last saturday and he called me tuesday night. We talked for a little while and then he asked me to go out on Friday. I said yes and we started to make plans and then he said that hell call me on thursday to finish making plans. He didnt call me thursday or friday or yesterday and now today is sunday. And he still hasnt called me and I dont understand why. So i have to go in to the store on tuesday and im going to see him and i dont know what i should do. im so confused. i dont want to call him because im afraid. and i dont know what to do when i go in there. can someone please help me. im torturing myself and i just want it to stop.
starbuckmacintyre Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 If he isn't calling it's likely because he wants you to go bouncing off the walls and wonder why the heck he hasn't called - that or he's just as freaked out as you are and he's afraid to call because he lives in his mother's basement. A good rule of thumb is *to ask the guy for his number* not the other way around. We live in a period of our history where women are emancipated and most guys are completely freaked right out about what their role is supposed to be in this era of post-modern feminism. My suggestion: don't hold your breath on this guy... if you see another guy you're interested in, ask him for his number, call him and ask him out.
Author Lena20 Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 ok well thanks for your help but i need a little more lol. ok so those are two very good reasons for not calling me, but its hard for me to let go of a guy so easily especially because i just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship in march so this is the first guy that ive been interested in since then, so i really wasnt even looking and if he doesnt work out then im not going to look for a while. but do you think hell ever call me? and also i am going to see him on tuesday so what should i do? i havent had to do this for such a long time, its like new to me again. 3 and a half years is a long time lol.
starbuckmacintyre Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Well, you could always go to where he works and ask him out, but here's the thing: if you rocked his existence, he'd be sleeping on your doorstep and he isn't. My suggestion is don't waste one minute of time fretting about this guy and just carry on. The next guy you meet who curls your toes -- ask for his number or better yet... ask the guy out.
playabum17 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Well, you could always go to where he works and ask him out, but here's the thing: if you rocked his existence, he'd be sleeping on your doorstep and he isn't. My suggestion is don't waste one minute of time fretting about this guy and just carry on. The next guy you meet who curls your toes -- ask for his number or better yet... ask the guy out. That, that's what I would do. Just pay him no mind when you do go into the store. Now, if he has a really, I mean a really good reason for not calling you (like a family member dying) then okay, but otherwise...he's not worth it.
Author Lena20 Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 ok thanks. its just disappointing because its been going on for so long. i think im done looking again for a while. im getting really sick of all of this. anyway thanks. also im just so confused cause it was just like he really seemed like he liked me a lot and he seemed really happy that i said yes when he asked me out, but whatever. also one more quick question, i was talking to my friend who was at my house when he called and she said that i said that he said to me lets so out friday or one day next week, and then he didnt call for friday and that maybe because he said or one day next week that he didnt think it was that big of a deal that he didnt make it for friday, but even so i was asking her, then at least he wouldve called to let me know that we were going to do it another day? and she said no cause he knows i come into the store so he may be waiting to just talk to me in person, or he may just think hell call me on another day thats good for him, cause guys arent considerate and call when they have to change plans like girls do. thats her opinion, but she wants to see what you guys think. also we were wondering what are the chances that he could still call? could he still call today or tomorrow? or is he going to wait till tuesday. im sorry for all this but shes been in a relationship for the past 2 years so shes been out of this whole thing fora while, and like i said this is the first ive had to do anything like this for the past 3 and a half years. so any help is greatly apperciated.
starbuckmacintyre Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 As mentioned: in all things relating to dating and romance... if he wants to be with you, he'll be sleeping on your doorstep.
Lucky555 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 As i have seen there are guys that are too shy to approach girls! I have been kind of studying behavior of men around me since i work with a lot of guys. There is this 25 year old macho guy who talks a lot of talk. HE CANT WALK THE WALK! That is if he is attracted to a girl he gets really shy and insecure because hes afraid of being rejected! So you gave the guy your number showing that you were interested. Don't get your hopes up but do get some confidence and finesse while going to the grocery store. Make sure you go up to him and say "hey um if you ever want to go hang out you got my number" then smile and walk away casually. This way he knows you are not desperate and your still interested in him if he decided to grab his balls and call you up! Do pursue other guys and if he does not contact you in a week then he is not worth your time. I am not a dating expert but as far i can tell sometimes the girl has to open up the conversation because some guys just are shy! surprising huh.
shockandawed Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I am a big fan of honest and open communication. You both have played the game and dance long enough..two weeks between visits, 4 days from number to call, etc.. I think you will drive yourself crazy wondering unless you address it. Who knows what has happened?..Could of lost your number, got sick, confused on when he said he would call, etc..see my point. There is also a possibility he is a jerk who once he got your number, lost interest. I kind of doubt it though. Go into the store, walk up to him with confidence. Be friendly and open to him, but clear. "Hey, did something come up? I was under the impression you were going to call on Thursday." Regardless of the reason, he owed you a phone call. I am sure you waited until late Friday wondering if you were still going out. You could of made alternate plans and he denied you this. Very rude. But things happen and he does seem to like you. Get the answer and then determine where to go. If you don't like what he says, then walk out of there with your head up high, he will be the one that will feel like crap about it.
Author Lena20 Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 thank you guys so much. im defintley giving him the benefit of the doubt, and im going to talk to him on tuesday. im nervous but im going to try to totally keep my cool when i go in there. i really cannot tell you how much i appericate this advice, ill keep you guys updated!
shockandawed Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Thats great Lena..you have nothing to lose, either he will clarify things for you or not. If he doesn't, at least you won't have invested anymore time in wondering about him. Do keep us up to date..I am really curious. I hope for the best for you!
Author Lena20 Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 i was just wondering if i could ask one more question. would the worst thing that i can do right now is text him? cause tuesdays far away and i really wanna know why but im kinda of emabarassed to contact him. what do you think? and i will defintley keep you up to date and thanks for wishing me luck!
shockandawed Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Heres the problem I see with texting. What are you going to do if he doesn't respond? Think about that, it could happen, especially if he did intentionally blow you off. But again, no response could mean several things, including that he may not have the text feature activated on his cell. See where I am going with this? I think it would make matters worse if you got no response. I understand wanting to get resolution. Does he not work until Tuesday? Go down there tonight if you think he will be there. If not that, I would try to call him instead of sending a text. Still possible for him not to answer or return your call. I would do everything possible to make this face to face. I am afraid you will spend a lot of time with "what ifs" any other way.
playabum17 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I am a big fan of honest and open communication. You both have played the game and dance long enough..two weeks between visits, 4 days from number to call, etc.. I think you will drive yourself crazy wondering unless you address it. Who knows what has happened?..Could of lost your number, got sick, confused on when he said he would call, etc..see my point. There is also a possibility he is a jerk who once he got your number, lost interest. I kind of doubt it though. Go into the store, walk up to him with confidence. Be friendly and open to him, but clear. "Hey, did something come up? I was under the impression you were going to call on Thursday." Regardless of the reason, he owed you a phone call. I am sure you waited until late Friday wondering if you were still going out. You could of made alternate plans and he denied you this. Very rude. But things happen and he does seem to like you. Get the answer and then determine where to go. If you don't like what he says, then walk out of there with your head up high, he will be the one that will feel like crap about it. Okay, I changed my mind, I like this answer better.
Author Lena20 Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 yea he doesnt work until tuesday. its just going to kill me because i still have one day after this left so its like torture. lol. im just so confused, he acted like he liked me so much. why would he do that? im just so afraid to text him in fear of emabrassing myself, or like you said not answering. i just dont know what to do. the one thing i forgot to tell you all is during our convo i basically gave him a get out of the date free card. i told him that if i was pressuring him into the date that i didnt want him to do it. and he said no i want to go. so i was ok good. but do you think that that was wrong and now he thinks that i was saying that because i didnt want to go? because the only reason i did that was because i wanted him to do it for both of us not just for me.
Author Lena20 Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 ok so i texted him this morning saying "hey didnt we have plans to hang out on friday? or was i mistaken?" and he responded back 2 mins later saying "yea sorry work has been crazy ill call you soon". so now i have a few questions. he didnt have to answer if he didnt want to right? so thats good, right? also he didnt have to say that hell call me but he did. so that was good right? and whats the difference between a guy saying ill call you soon or ill call you later? and so what do we think about this? please help lol
Author Lena20 Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 hey guys im bumping my own post because i really need help with the last part, i need to know what i do before i go in there tomorrow now that weve spoken. any help would be greatly apperciated. i posted our convo in the post right above this one.
shockandawed Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Lena, Unfortunately you really don't know anymore now than you did before except he isn't completely blowing you off. Like before, this could mean all kinds of things and I am sure it is driving you crazy. Here is the facts you have to ask yourself. Maybe the reasons are valid, but it still doesn't excuse the fact he didn't let you know. That is rude. A simple text, sorry I have to work on Friday would have sufficed. Is this kind of behavior what you will have to put up with from him on an ongoing basis? Remember, everyone has their best foot forward early on. I would still go in there tomorrow, march up there and be pleasant and smiling, but somewhat firm. I would ask why he couldn't have simply let you know somehow. Then I would point blank ask him if he is serious about going out. Then make definite plans if he says yes. If he gives you the same hoo-haw answer he just text you. Then I would tell him you don't have time for games and walk right back out the store.
Author Lena20 Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 ok but we do agree that he coulda just ignored me and he couldve told me when i saw him in person that he didnt get the text right? so that was a good thing and also he didnt have to say that he would call me. should i text him answering if hes serious about going out? cause its hard for him to talk while hes working cause he works behind the counter. and thanks for your help!
shadowplay Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Yeah, just ask him. Text him and ask if he's serious about going out. That way you'll spare yourself some agonizing and you'll have the truth.
Author Lena20 Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 ok so i really need help in the next half hour. i have to leave and i need advice before i do so please help! i havent seen him all week cause the store that he works at has been closed for repairs so i havent been able to see him. he said on monday that he will call me soon and he hasnt, so i need help. i was wondering if i should text him saying something like: do you have any intention of calling me to hang out or no? cause if not i just need to know? or something to that affect. i really need the help and quick as of what to do. so someone, anyone, please help.
jcster Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 Didn't he ask YOU to call him on thursday? If you didn't call him, perhaps he thinks that you blew him off.
Binder Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I think you are over thinking this. Just wait it out and let the guy make the move. If you're over anxious, it'll be a turnoff for him. You guys haven't even gone out yet, so don't get too attached to him.
bradford Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I'm sure you are young, or inexperienced, or both, but honestly.. so he didn't call, big deal, it shouldn't be your whole world, and even if it is, don't let him know it. Next time you see him in the store (although I think you probably already saw him), just say "Hey ****brick, how's about we make plans to go out this week and you can blow me off again? Sound like a plan?" but laugh, like you could give two ****s about it. He'll sense your strength, and be all over it. Just don't take the sitch too serious... that'll kill your chances.
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