chuck0 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I want to start off by saying.. I'm 24 from SoCal and of course married. I love my wife shes amazing but my marriage has been a bit rocky the past 6 months. Mostly feeling like friends.. roommates not lovers and best friends. But really I know its from medication my wife has been taking to calm her down. She's been having tons of anxiety and stress from her work and health. Since s has been on the meds she comes home sleeps most of the afternoon after work. Then I see her in the morning for showers. It's been day in day out. Its gotten really boring. But as of two weeks ago we got a second opinion and shes back on the right track. Shes getting on the right track NOW. Both my wife and I carpool as she works 10 minutes for me. We normally have lunch together we talk, laugh, and enjoy each others company. My wife and I are always together. Not a minute we are separate besides working hours when most of he time we're talking over instant messenger. I love this sort plan and thing we got going it works for us. Still everything feels friendly friends. Sex has been 1 or 2 every two to three weeks. Its been like here have it and then I can get some sleep! Meanwhile... this girl at work (age 27) has been quite the charmer. 160lbs, Hugely busted (36E) and nice hips. (Still my wife kills her in the body aspect skinner and bustier.) Either way it started out normal but she became very sexual in her conversations within a month of her starting where I work. Telling me what she did with guys she was with which are really her close friend. Now shes showing me pictures of her body from our WORK!!! bathroom. She knows I'm married. She doesn't know about issues in my marriage.. she just knows I talk about my wife A LOT in a good way. I never talk about my wife negatively to anyone. Either way she says she doesn't mind showing me her body and talking about dirty things with me because "I'm Safe". If I wasn't safe she wouldn't and plus there is no romantic interest. She says shes just a pervert. I also admit to talking dirty back but not so much directed at her. Which sounds dumb I know. So okay, she says I'm safe because I'm married and adore my wife.. which is true. I will honestly admit the attention has been great for the lack of attention I was getting from my wife. As my wife was or is very much the naughty girl herself. Quite like this woman. Well this past Friday I dressed up for work. Normally, work is t-shirt and shorts. This time button-up shirt and some jeans. Anyways, She flat out told me "You look sexy". Which later led to her telling me that she would have sex with me if I was single. I'm just that good looking and her preference is 30 something men, but she would break that rule. I can't stop thinking about this woman. I want her. But I don't. I know its lust. I would want to come home to my wife not her. My wife and I have worked hard to get where we are and getting her better. Thus far my wife is getting better. But with this other woman for the most part I spend my days saying I want to have sex with her but in the end looking at her with disgust. I don't want her but all the sex talk and nude pictures are great! I want to stop and cut the crap. But I find myself caught in her web every time I tell her no. What do I do?? This woman openly tells me she sleeps with guys who are her friends. Obviously, shes not for me. My wife feels like home. Not her. Help!!!! Sorry for the rambling....
lostboy60645 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Hey brother, You and I are online at the same time. I'm a night shifter, but it sounds like you're up late. Do you do anything else on line to 'vent' your angst? I bring that up because usually the possibility of an affair is just one of many areas we (humans) tend to act out of difficult emotions. Lust for a co-worker is one area. Other areas, which have been my personal problem, included internet porn, adult bookshops, and eventually strip clubs and prostitutes. I never made it to massage parlors, but that was next had I not disclosed everything to my wife and joined a recovery program. I'm not saying you're like me. I hope you're not. But, in my non-expert expertise, if it's not this co-worker, it'll be another. Or a neighbor. Or a friend. Or an escort. Or someone in the bar on a business trip. So where do you go from here? For one thing, unfortunately, you have to absolutely cut off this connection with your co-worker. This MUST NOT be done in place where she can advance on you physically or vice-versa, or this thread will be sure to take on a much different tone. The next thing to do is to think about talking to someone who can be objective about this who might help you avoid these situations better in the future. This could be a friend or relative, but an individual therapist is not a bad idea. Why jump to these crazy ideas with therapy and talk of compulsive sex things you ask? Because, if you're even remotely like me, you are in for a rough decade or two of many temptations and possible escalation of a problem that you can nip in the bud now. I know it sounds weird, but I believe that if you are lusting after this woman at work, no matter how hot she is and no matter what kind of things she's said, I think there are issues you need to deal with about yourself, irrespective of what your wife is and is not doing for you while she's dealing with her own issues. It's out of love of my fellow man that I say this. If I'm totally off base, forgive me, but I post here just so that other people don't have to suffer as much as my wife and I have, leading to the conflagration of our marriage into a pile of smouldering ashes. All the best and keep posting...you'll get lot's of good repsonses, guaranteed or your money back! Lostboy60645 http://www.livingsobriety.blogspot.com
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Stay away from her! Tell her not to talk to you like that anymore, it's just wrong too, of you to encourage her behaviour. SHE DOESN'T care if you are married or not, she'll bang you anyway. And, even though you want to bang her. is hurting your wife, betraying her in such a horrible way worth risking and possibly losing your marriage, let alone ALL the love and trust you've built with your wife, for some hot sex with a woman who you don't love or want to be with for the rest of your life??? Take a giant step back and distance yourself from this girl. If you don't, you're enabling that energy to continue. FOCUS that energy into your wife. Plan a weekend getaway, bond with your wife and appreciate what you have infront of you, NOT the girl at work. Good luck and I really hope you don't make the biggest mistake of your life that you can't ever take back.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 You sound smart enough to know where this will go and you've received and will receive plenty of advice on this subject. I want to hit on your wife's low labido though. Many, infact most, anti-anxiety meds attribute to this. There are a few that do not, or are not as debilitating in this area. If she's finally received a dosage and type that works for her I don't know if she would be willing to, with the help of her physician, to try others. The only other thing I will point out is that this woman seems to be a loose cannon, NOT the type of person you could ever trust to keep things on the down-low. Women who act out sexually in this manner tend to have histrionic tendancies, which spell nothing but drama and disaster for you in the long run if you in anyway associate yourself with her. Good luck to you.
Mr. Lucky Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Good luck and I really hope you don't make the biggest mistake of your life that you can't ever take back. That's the part that your "little head" doesn't understand - the decision it wants to make for you and the resulting 5 minutes of pleasure in the bathroom at work (that location should be your first clue ) willl have a lifetime of consequences. STD's? Divorce? Unwanted pregnancy? Job loss? Guilt? Damage to reputation? Remorse? Financial problems? Sexual harrassment lawsuit? That's not a Chinese menu where you pick two or three, you could end up with them all ... Mr. Lucky
Lizzie60 Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 now you just proved that even the 'best' husband out there can hardly resist temptation. You will become 'obsessed' with this girl if you don't cut ALL, I mean ALL discussions with her.... don't even look at her... avoid her. There is no miracle cure for lust... avoid all contacts... simple... and even then...I'm not sure you'll resist her in the long run... she might end up having you. LOL When I say, that MOST if not ALL men would cheat given the opportunity.. this is exactly what I mean. I tested that theory, with a guy just like you, who swore he never cheated nor would he ever cheated on his wife.. ha-hem..guess what..
child_of_isis Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Oh yeah, a loose cannon all right. If he bangs her once, you can bet she will become obsessed, start stalking, tell his wife and co-workers, and make his life a living hell. This one is dangerous. The only other thing I will point out is that this woman seems to be a loose cannon, NOT the type of person you could ever trust to keep things on the down-low. Women who act out sexually in this manner tend to have histrionic tendancies, which spell nothing but drama and disaster for you in the long run if you in anyway associate yourself with her. Good luck to you.
Author chuck0 Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 Really, It's just not work it. Technically, I'm sure this whole subject shows I don't love my wife. But, I do.. and its not even her fault the pills did that to her. I recognized it but I am being selfish. One thing for sure my wife is off the bad medicine and on something different that has brought her libido up! Shes improving. Getting way better. The scary thing about this co-worker is that shes gotta kid. Shes sleeping with her ex-boyfriend that she had the kid with. Plus, two other ex's. Shes just an accident waiting to happen. I know it and I see it. I don't know why I'm being so dumb. Stupid. It's not like me. We've never touched each other, never went out alone, never had lunch together, nothing. Just heavy flirting I guess. Usually this just goes on at her desk or if shes in my office. It's has never left work. We do have normal conversations. But I think its just too much. I've even talked to her about her relationship problems. It's just a weird relationship. Thats needs to end. I will have to cut ties with this co-worker or find a new job. There is really no benefit to even knowing her honestly. If she respected my marriage she wouldn't of tried anything clever and if I respected my marriage I would have never let it get that far. I rolled the dope, I gotta smoke it.
whichwayisup Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 The scary thing about this co-worker is that shes gotta kid. Shes sleeping with her ex-boyfriend that she had the kid with. Plus, two other ex's. Shes just an accident waiting to happen. I know it and I see it. I don't know why I'm being so dumb. Stupid. It's not like me. If you bang her, the chances of you giving something to your wife is very high. Imagine herpes, AIDS, etc....You want to DO that to your wife, let alone yourself? She has an ex, and other men she's sleeping with, THAT in itself should be enough to TURN YOU OFF of her. Fantasy girl is just that, fantasy. Tell this girl that you're a married man, you made a mistake by flirting with her and from now on no more sex/flirty talk. It's just inappropriate behaviour! You know it, she knows it and I'm sure people in your office know it too. They're not stupid or blind. Office gossip and rumours spread real fast, so keep that in mind too. Last thing you want is your work reputation suffering because you're lusting after a hot gal at work. Really, It's just not work it. Technically, I'm sure this whole subject shows I don't love my wife. But, I do.. and its not even her fault the pills did that to her. I recognized it but I am being selfish. One thing for sure my wife is off the bad medicine and on something different that has brought her libido up! Shes improving. Getting way better. I do believe you love your wife, but right now you're very tempted to taste what else is out there....You love your wife, but right now, you have no respect for her. Imagine if she were in a car accident, couldn't have sex for 6 months...Would you be having these thoughts, getting real close to making an awful mistake? Or, reverse the situation...Your wife soooo close to another man, close enough that she was considering having sex with him because you were sick, or have bouts of ED (erectile dysfunction), or if you were in an accident and couldn't have sex for a while...Wouldn't you just be devastated and full of anger? Wonder WHY and HOW could she be thinking about banging someone else when you needed her during your rough times? Instead of her focussing on you and being supportive, she'd be out there lusting after another guy.... Hmm...How do you feel now? Makes you really stop and think? I hope so. Well, this is what you're doing to your wife NOW. She has anxiety and stress related health problems. BE supportive, loving, understanding because she NEEDS that from you. If you let her down by messing around, not only are you being unfaith to her, your marriage vows, you'll be losing the honest and good part of YOU. Good luck and please, stay away from hotgal.
Lynna Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 I will have to cut ties with this co-worker or find a new job. There is really no benefit to even knowing her honestly. You know exactly what you have to do! Go for it! Next time she acts like that tell her flat out that you will not engage in any more discussions of that kind and then walk away. Even walk away if she came into your office to start the conversation, go get some coffee or something. Every time she tries it, do the same thing. Refuse to engage in any conversation other than legitimate work conversation. As for your wife, it is natural for couples to experience periods of being in a rut with each other, especially if there are meds involved. Do things to jazz up your relationship. Set up a romantic night together, surprise her with a home cooked dinner, candles, dance with her, give her a bath and you wash her, give her a massage, etc. Write her a romantic letter. Do things like this occassionally and it will help spice things up. Be creative! Talk to each other about what would turn you on and then try and do it. You can revitalize things. Good luck!
Author chuck0 Posted July 31, 2007 Author Posted July 31, 2007 Well, one thing I can't avoid is talking to her unless I get an entirely new job. Shes a buyer where I work. She buys all of our IT equipment. So I have to talk to her a lot and jump on her case when shes not on the ball. Which most of the time she is. I talked to her yesterday about everything and that I didn't want to pursue anything more than just acquaintances/passer-by. Which she said was fine. So I have to take it with a grain of salt. We shall see how long it lasts. But her whole attitude changed. She wasn't even like "Well it wasn't like anythings going to happen, your married". It was more like.. "Okay, I admit that the whole your safe and married was false, because your not. I admit to being overly attracted to you. Besides the heavy flirting. You are like my best friend which I need right now. I need a stable relationship. But I can't get that from you."... again I have to take that with a grain of salt. But, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt slightly. But her whole attitude has changed. She didn't come to my office or call me meaninglessly. I will have to give it a week or two. Then post back.
Ladyjane14 Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 "Okay, I admit that the whole your safe and married was false, because your not. I admit to being overly attracted to you. Besides the heavy flirting. You are like my best friend which I need right now. I need a stable relationship. But I can't get that from you."... Look again, Chuck. These kind of statements are designed to elicit sympathy and guilt. Don't be fooled.. If she was in earnest... she'd have wished you well and let it go gracefully. Instead, she played the Drama Queen. Drama Queens should be avoided at all costs. They use people to perpetuate their own sense of self-importance. The mayhem they create keeps them at the center of their own little universe, where the people in their lives revolve around them like little satellites... that is, until they crash and burn.
stillafool Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 You are right to be disgusted by this girl - she is a total slut! Do not let her ruin your marriage just because you and your wife are going through a rough patch right now. Marriage has seasons. Tell this slut to stop the "dirty talk" and keep her body to herself. Tell her it's getting old.
stillafool Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 I agree with NoraJane this chick is a drama queen. What is this mess about "I need a stable relationship"? If she would act more ladylike she would have her own man. She is big trouble and sounds like a very needy person who constantly seeks attention from men. Don't let her mess up the best thing in your life. You would be so, so sorry.
Lynna Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Glad to hear that you told her it had to stop. Also glad to hear that she respected your wishes at least so far. No make sure you stay firm with her in case she tries to pull something again. It sounds like she has a TON of issues that she needs to work through but you CANNOT be the one to help her with them. She is the only one that can help herself. Congrats & good luck!
East of Jupiter Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 I want to start off by saying.. I'm 24 from SoCal and of course married. I love my wife shes amazing but my marriage has been a bit rocky the past 6 months. Mostly feeling like friends.. roommates not lovers and best friends. But really I know its from medication my wife has been taking to calm her down. She's been having tons of anxiety and stress from her work and health. Since s has been on the meds she comes home sleeps most of the afternoon after work. Then I see her in the morning for showers. It's been day in day out. Its gotten really boring. But as of two weeks ago we got a second opinion and shes back on the right track. Shes getting on the right track NOW. Both my wife and I carpool as she works 10 minutes for me. We normally have lunch together we talk, laugh, and enjoy each others company. My wife and I are always together. Not a minute we are separate besides working hours when most of he time we're talking over instant messenger. I love this sort plan and thing we got going it works for us. Still everything feels friendly friends. Sex has been 1 or 2 every two to three weeks. Its been like here have it and then I can get some sleep! Meanwhile... this girl at work (age 27) has been quite the charmer. 160lbs, Hugely busted (36E) and nice hips. (Still my wife kills her in the body aspect skinner and bustier.) Either way it started out normal but she became very sexual in her conversations within a month of her starting where I work. Telling me what she did with guys she was with which are really her close friend. Now shes showing me pictures of her body from our WORK!!! bathroom. She knows I'm married. She doesn't know about issues in my marriage.. she just knows I talk about my wife A LOT in a good way. I never talk about my wife negatively to anyone. Either way she says she doesn't mind showing me her body and talking about dirty things with me because "I'm Safe". If I wasn't safe she wouldn't and plus there is no romantic interest. She says shes just a pervert. I also admit to talking dirty back but not so much directed at her. Which sounds dumb I know. So okay, she says I'm safe because I'm married and adore my wife.. which is true. I will honestly admit the attention has been great for the lack of attention I was getting from my wife. As my wife was or is very much the naughty girl herself. Quite like this woman. Well this past Friday I dressed up for work. Normally, work is t-shirt and shorts. This time button-up shirt and some jeans. Anyways, She flat out told me "You look sexy". Which later led to her telling me that she would have sex with me if I was single. I'm just that good looking and her preference is 30 something men, but she would break that rule. I can't stop thinking about this woman. I want her. But I don't. I know its lust. I would want to come home to my wife not her. My wife and I have worked hard to get where we are and getting her better. Thus far my wife is getting better. But with this other woman for the most part I spend my days saying I want to have sex with her but in the end looking at her with disgust. I don't want her but all the sex talk and nude pictures are great! I want to stop and cut the crap. But I find myself caught in her web every time I tell her no. What do I do?? This woman openly tells me she sleeps with guys who are her friends. Obviously, shes not for me. My wife feels like home. Not her. Help!!!! Sorry for the rambling.... Sheesh you sound like my husband. Don't do what he did! And I don't know why I am ever surprised that men would go for a woman that appears to be a poster child for STDs. Have a long talk with your pecker. Convince him that the 30 second orgasm is not worth the nasty sores or warts he stands to gain. Obviously you have to convince your little head of what your thinking head know is the right thing to do. OMG...you are willing to ruin your marriage and hurt your beautiful wife for this piece of trash? You need a frying pan upside the head. Both of them!
East of Jupiter Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 You know exactly what you have to do! Go for it! Next time she acts like that tell her flat out that you will not engage in any more discussions of that kind and then walk away. Even walk away if she came into your office to start the conversation, go get some coffee or something. Every time she tries it, do the same thing. Refuse to engage in any conversation other than legitimate work conversation. quote] My husband worked with a woman like this. She was relentless. The thing was that he wasn't attracted to her but he did enjoy the attention. Oh before you go off saying "sure, he wasn't attracted to her.." He treated her like crap. He would hang up the phone on her. Kick her out of his office ... The more he rejected her, the stronger she came on. So.. at the company conference formal dinner, she was all over him. As soon as we walked in, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him on the dance floor. Right after she complimented me on our tastefully coordinated outfits) heheheheheheheheeee.... he can't dance his way out of a paper bag .... her girlfriend (who dubbed my H a "fuddy duddy" for not partying with them in the past and who was previously busted by my husband and three other male workers giving the young, recently engaged friend a BJ in the parking lot) joined in and as I giggled uncontrollably, Shrek (she was very tall and fugly) had her hands all over him. I stood there with Shrek's date (pretty handsome I might add) who turned to me, winked and said "I think we came here with the wrong dates" and asked me to dance. No thanks. I wouldn't miss this show for anything in the world. I can tell you all sort of things she did .... she was such a PITA. Calling him on vacation to help her fix her computer ... switching places at the last minute to end up sitting next to him ...
outofdarkness Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 :eek:several really good descriptive words to describe this W in the replies that you got...Trollop, slut, nuts, etc...NOT someone that you want to keep communicating w/ in ANY way...Unstable comes to MY mind...This is they type that might start stalking and say things happended that didn't happen...Possibly even to your W....AND many times lust leads to the real thing! Don't jeopardize everything that is dear to you for some tramp who would most likley give you some nasty std!!! If you have to look for another job, then do it! But if you do, PLEASE make sure that you address the root of the problem...YOU need to go for some IC and find out why you feel so needy in this dept..Yes, your W has had a tough time b/c of some medication that she takes, but she's better now... Seems to me that you all are now left w/ YOUR issues, whatever they may be...Good luck...p.s..I also agree w/ the whole drama queen scenerio...Not uncommon for a low class, unstable woman to use this tactic to reel you in even more...ood
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 Well, one thing I can't avoid is talking to her unless I get an entirely new job. Shes a buyer where I work. She buys all of our IT equipment. So I have to talk to her a lot and jump on her case when shes not on the ball. Which most of the time she is. I talked to her yesterday about everything and that I didn't want to pursue anything more than just acquaintances/passer-by. Which she said was fine. So I have to take it with a grain of salt. We shall see how long it lasts. But her whole attitude changed. She wasn't even like "Well it wasn't like anythings going to happen, your married". It was more like.. "Okay, I admit that the whole your safe and married was false, because your not. I admit to being overly attracted to you. Besides the heavy flirting. You are like my best friend which I need right now. I need a stable relationship. But I can't get that from you."... again I have to take that with a grain of salt. But, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt slightly. But her whole attitude has changed. She didn't come to my office or call me meaninglessly. I will have to give it a week or two. Then post back. NO. Don't give her the benefit of doubt. You need to look at her as big threat to your marriage and IN YOUR MIND, you gotta believe that, because if you don't, something could happen. She WILL try again...Flirt and just test the waters to see if you're still game. Whatever you do, DO NOT flirt back! Plain and simple tell her you're married and not interested in this little flirtation. MOST OF ALL TOO, don't let her know that you find her sexually attractive. The less she knows what you think, the better. I bolded a part of your quote because that line "you're like my bestfriend.." IS BULLCRAP. Then there's "I NEED". Which just shows she wasn't thinking of you at all. Or your wife. Spend some time with your wife, do something romantic and fun with her.
East of Jupiter Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 I've know a lot of BW and OW. One OW sounds like this woman. She did give the MM an STD which he gave to his wife. And he had no love interest in the OW. There was only sex I believe three times. Well, she didn't accept no on the fourth time. She did all sorts of things to the BW. Including breaking into their property and damaging cars. They only got peace when they moved out of town. Be warned. Be fair. Be honest.
Deanster Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Can you send me your co-worker's contact info and post some pics? Does she like balding chubby married men also? I keed! I keed! sounds like an interesting situation - good luck!
LakesideDream Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 At 24 years old, lot's of things seem like bigger problems than they are. Good Buddy, your course of action is clear, tell the woman you are not interested in flirting with her. A good way to insure her attention might be to compose a memo to yours and her supervisors detailing the uncomfortable position this woman has put you in. Be sure to state clearly that you have not encouraged her. Show her a copy of the memo, and tell her you will deliver it if the unwanted attention does not cease. Let her know her job or career may hinge on her future behavior. Then and this is important, ... MAIL a copy to yourself through the post office, to have a cancel date. Your seat is covered, and she is put on notice that you are not taking the situation seriously. Sometimes only the nuclear option is suffecient. This is probably one of those cases. This gal probably believes she can talk/charm/flirt her way out of most any problem. Oh.. using the edit to add: This situation has zero, nada, nothing to do with your wife, her health, or the two of you's personal lives. It's about unwanted advances in a professional workplace. Don't let the situation become confused.
lonelybird Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 The more he rejected her, the stronger she came on. ... Die Hard Can I quote Bible a little? Proverbs 2:16 You will be saved from the loose woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, 2:17 who forsakes the partner of her youth and forgets her sacred covenant; 2:18 for her way leads down to death, and her paths to the shades; 2:19 those who go to her never come back, nor do they regain the paths of life Please exercise your self-control, you will love yourself more:)
directx Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 Die Hard Can I quote Bible a little? Proverbs 2:16 You will be saved from the loose woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, 2:17 who forsakes the partner of her youth and forgets her sacred covenant; 2:18 for her way leads down to death, and her paths to the shades; 2:19 those who go to her never come back, nor do they regain the paths of life Please exercise your self-control, you will love yourself more:) So does that mean if he commits adultery there is no forgiveness?
Carbine Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Holy s**t! That's sexual harassment - plain and simple. Just because it's coming from a female doesn't mean that the seriousness of the act is diminished. And shame on you for encouraging it. If you're foolish enough to have an affair with this person, then go right ahead... However, I hope you come to your senses and see her for what she is. Personally I can't stand women - correction - sluts like this who take 'sexual confidence' to new and revolting lows. Because that's what she's being: a SLUT. She's no pervert - I mean, at least your average self-respecting pervert manages to be somewhat discreet! Unless this chick has something seriously wrong with her head, she knows as well as anyone that her behaviour is TOTALLY inappropriate in the workplace. But, sadly enough you're giving her the attention she craves so she keeps doing it. I think that the best principle to apply in your situation would be 'OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND', and the sooner the better! She needs to be given a wakeup call and the best way to do this is to treat her with all the importance and respect that a slut in the workplace deserves - which is prettymuch NIL. Next time she pulls her tricks, just tell her very firmly and somewhat patronisingly that she's behaving like a cheap woman and that it's completely unnattractive. Tell her that her behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable and that you feel it's inappropriate and childish to behave like that in a professional environment - AND MEAN IT!! Good luck.
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