Author DInLasVegas Posted July 31, 2007 Author Posted July 31, 2007 I don't think anyone can possibly know exactly how YOU are feeling, even though many of us have been in similar situations. Even though you say your confused I'm guessing your A is giving you some happiness and some emotional support that you are needing right now. When the time comes, and it will, you will make your move and leave, or change your situation to one that you can at least be happy with. Until then, be careful with your heart, make your plans to become independent for yourself and your children (every woman should do that anyway!), and do what you know is right for you. Even under the most confusing circumstances, I believe we all know what we have to do, we just all choose different paths to get to the same conclusion. Good luck to you. Yes very much so, he listens to me even if i have something boring to say. He doesnt pressure me for sex and when we have it its full of passion and closeness I dont feel like its a job. We can cuddle on the couch and just talk for hours and or watch tv and say nothing at all and he wont ever "try" to if im not in the mood or get mad at me when i dont want to. Sometimes i just want to be loved and valued for me and not my body or what i can do sexually. My MM doesnt put demands on me he doesnt talk **** about me and he doesnt put me down he doesnt make me feel like a my life has to revolve around him and gives me space when i need it. That is what draws me to him we respect each other enough to let each other be who we are he is not a sex fanatic like my husband he wants the closeness and communication that i want which brings us together we both want that from our spouses but our spouses dont seem to understand what we want from them so we get it from each other. neither of us want to interfere in each others marriage we just want to fullfill our needs.. we are not looking to hurt anyone even though we know if our spouses found out they would be hurt .. I cannot speak for him on why he stays but i have already stated why im still here, its just to hard and im too scared to leave him right now i just dont know what he will do if i leave...
Author DInLasVegas Posted July 31, 2007 Author Posted July 31, 2007 I strongly urge you to end your affair. You said the MM will be away for five months. Will you have no contact during that time? This might be a good time to end contact at least for the five months while you go through therapy. Even if in the end you divorce, I will be able to say with a clear conscience that you examined your feelings for your husband and marriage fairly and without another person plaing a part of that decision. You have had a lot of trauma in your life and that can make us hypersensitive to others. It is no coincidence that some of us end up with a spouse with an unresolved issue from our past. Some speculate that this is the mind recreating the problem over and over again in order to understand and/or overcome the haunting feelings. In the past, I realized that I had chosen a man to have an affair with that was very much like my partner. Someone who needed emotional help. But I didn't see that at the time. Heck I only see it now! I think I can break my pattern now that I recognize it. We will have very little if any, its part of his job and he is in another country. I worry about him and hearing from him keeps me from thinking something bad has happened to him. My issues with my husband have nothing to do with the mm and our affair, our issues started way before mm came along, although I do see your point and this is something i do have to consider doing, i cannot say for sure what i will do at this point with our relationship but i will take your advice to heart..I just want to be upfront here I need to think this one through, gosh if only i could just mold both men into one man:D it would be a dream come true...
KATANYA Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 Gosh - If we could all mould a few men into one I would start believing in monogomy again! lol.......Like I said before, best of luck to you.
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