Following your heart or your head...which is better?

[allina]

...If only I knew where they were...the single ones anyway!

 

They're out there, you just have to pick through and find them

 

they are few and far between and ususally snapped up quickly by women who are similar to them...

 

Yes snapped up by women like me

 

There aren't that few of them around though, especially in large cities with a large portion of the population holding good college degrees.

[LoveLace]

They're out there, you just have to pick through and find them

 

 

 

30 yrs. of picking through is pretty exhausting...I'm resting these days...

[Art_Critic]

30 yrs. of picking through is pretty exhausting...I'm resting these days...

 

 

That isn't using your heart.. your head or your ASSets...

[lindya]

the heart tells the woman to go with the good-looking and pennyless guy whom she loves but her head tells her to go with the more homely and slightly balding but rich guy who drives BMW

 

I think material greed would make her go for the rich guy rather than the guy she thinks she loves. Her brain would direct her towards whichever one of the two she most trusts, likes and respects. That's the guy who will, long term, give her a warm glow rather than a series of adrenalin-based highs and lows...whether those be based on the lust for sex or lust for money.

[LoveLace]

That isn't using your heart.. your head or your ASSets...

 

Full time work..full time nursing school...both full of chicks...not enough time or energy to put my heart into it....and my head's so full of big words for my next exam that there's no room for anything else!

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

My gut told my libido "he's interested". My libido did a rapid assessment and said "great!" Then my heart started ticking back into life for the first time in ages and ages. A couple of weeks later, he asked me out - and while libido, heart and gut went into a flurry, my brain stepped in and declined the invitation. I really did have to say no.

 

LOL...this is classic. Just when you need to say "yes", you have to say "no". You probably had a good reason to decline...but still, I don't know why we do this. Must be some innate defense mechanism that tells us to wait and watch before taking a plunge.

 

Or maybe we just enjoy saying "no".

 

Then by the time circumstances changed and it would have been okay(ish) for me to go out with him, I suppose he'd lost interest/found someone else.

 

Timing just wasn't on my side...or perhaps it was, as I've found out a couple of things that reinforce that my brain gave the right answer. Doesn't make me feel any happier though.

 

I think it was your brain and your gut combined, that made you give that answer. That's usually the wisest combination.

 

Let's see, now. Theoretically, if you'd gone out with him, you would've had to put up with his "good old boys club" attitude. and that's not really your type...

 

Besides, so what if you had to decline the first time. He could've still taken the trouble to ask you another time, right? Isn't that what men are supposed to do (pursue the woman)? I mean, it's just gentlemanly to do so.

 

If the self-servicing chowderhead didn't re-try, then he's flakier than pie crust. In that case, good riddance.

 

 

I know, your heart is still sulking. But really, there's no way that the heart and the brain can work in perfect harmony. That's how nature works.

 

That's why animals have it so simple. No mind-games, no endless interpretations. Just do the do and be gone (don't even have to say "thank you ma'am").

[sparkie]

I always follow my heart. the head is merely there to clean up the aftermath that is sure to always insue. i've vowed to never question my heart, my emotions, or my intuition. While they may get me into trouble sometimes, they never steer me wrong because as long as i've picked my ass back up afterwards and learned a lesson from a time my heart has got me into trouble, then it was worth every tear.

 

The heart takes the leap, the head just reminds me to pull the rip cord for a safe landing.

 

[lindya]

[

Let's see, now. Theoretically, if you'd gone out with him, you would've had to put up with his "good old boys club" attitude. and that's not really your type...

 

To be honest, I've generally found "men's men" have treated me better in life, and I usually trust them more.

 

Besides, so what if you had to decline the first time. He could've still taken the trouble to ask you another time, right? Isn't that what men are supposed to do (pursue the woman)? I mean, it's just gentlemanly to do so.

 

If the self-servicing chowderhead didn't re-try, then he's flakier than pie crust. In that case, good riddance.

 

Quite right!

 

I know, your heart is still sulking. But really, there's no way that the heart and the brain can work in perfect harmony. That's how nature works.

 

That's why animals have it so simple. No mind-games, no endless interpretations. Just do the do and be gone (don't even have to say "thank you ma'am").

 

Except for cats. They're utterly committed to playing mind-games - and did you know that the Tomcats have barbed penises that cause the poor female cat agony when they pull out? "Mother" Nature my arse.

[burning 4 revenge]

[

 

To be honest, I've generally found "men's men" have treated me better

so you would be less suspicious of humphrey bogart than peter o'toole?

[lindya]

so you would be less suspicious of humphrey bogart than peter o'toole?

 

Leaving aside the obvious joke about being suspicious of ghosts....it depends, as always, on the situation I needed to trust them in.

 

I'd trust Peter O'Toole to help me pick out new curtains for my sitting room and regale me with amusing luvvy tales. Humphrey Bogart would probably be less of a man to rely on for that kind of thing.

 

Were Bogey still alive, I'd expect him to be surly and silent most of the time, complain when I spent too much time chatting to friends on the phone - etc. But when I got trapped in a burning building, Bogey's the one who would haul off his jacket and run back in to save me. O'Toole would be standing outside examining his fingernails, rehearsing the terribly moving speech he planned to make at my funeral and wondering whether a scarlet necktie would be too outrageous for such an occasion.

[underpants]

Lyndia,

 

You are a riot. I simply cannot understand why there is not a crowd of available men outside your door.

 

As for me, I think all my parts, head, heart, gut, libido have just given up and gone on stike in the romantic area. They tend to collectively and seperately sabatoge my chances.

 

I often will have the entire relationship before I even have a date. (Am I the only one that does this?). I will think about the guy, weigh out what I know about him and myself. Envision the possible fun and romantic times, then see down the road toward how it will all end. Then see, I really don't have to date them in the first place. It's a time saver really.

[Art_Critic]

I simply cannot understand why there is not a crowd of available men outside your door.

 

that would be the restraining orders keeping them away

[lindya]

I simply cannot understand why there is not a crowd of available men outside your door.

 

We should all have that - but there just aren't enough crowds of available men to go round.

 

I often will have the entire relationship before I even have a date. (Am I the only one that does this?). I will think about the guy, weigh out what I know about him and myself. Envision the possible fun and romantic times, then see down the road toward how it will all end. Then see, I really don't have to date them in the first place. It's a time saver really.

 

Loveshack can certainly help with that line of thinking.

 

that would be the restraining orders keeping them away

 

Do you think perhaps some new legislation should be drafted whereby a person can take out something that would be the opposite of a restraining order?

[Trialbyfire]

Loveshack can certainly help with that line of thinking.

 

Now how true is that? The home of the freely cynical.

[underpants]

An Attaining order?

 

Young man, you have been served. You are to stay within 10 feet of Unders until such time as she deems it no longer neccessary. You are to entertain her intellectual side, care about her feelings (no matter how much you don't want to), you are to humor her and romaticize her. You will kill any bug that threatens her emotional stability and you will mow the grass.

[lindya]

An Attaining order?

 

Young man, you have been served. You are to stay within 10 feet of Unders until such time as she deems it no longer neccessary. You are to entertain her intellectual side, care about her feelings (no matter how much you don't want to), you are to humor her and romaticize her. You will kill any bug that threatens her emotional stability and you will mow the grass.

 

Haha. Perhaps we could ask that great champion of women's rights Woggle to draft some statutory provisions. We could call it the Women's Heart, Brain, Libido and Gut Consolidation Act....designed to promote the welfare of, and co-operation between, all four.

[Art_Critic]

We could call it the Women's Heart, Brain, Libido and Gut Consolidation Act....designed to promote the welfare of, and co-operation between, all four.

 

designed to promote the welfare of, and co-operation between, all four while on all four

[alphamale]

Haha. Perhaps we could ask that great champion of women's rights Woggle to draft some statutory provisions. We could call it the Women's Heart, Brain, Libido and Gut Consolidation Act....designed to promote the welfare of, and co-operation between, all four.

good luck with that hahaha

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Except for cats. They're utterly committed to playing mind-games - and did you know that the Tomcats have barbed penises that cause the poor female cat agony when they pull out? "Mother" Nature my arse.

 

Oh no - that is brutal! Yes, I think I've either heard / read about it somewhere.

 

Ideally, I would've loved to be born asexual, a plant perhaps. But I guess I'm just glad I'm not a female cat.

 

 

I'd trust Peter O'Toole to help me pick out new curtains for my sitting room and regale me with amusing luvvy tales. Humphrey Bogart would probably be less of a man to rely on for that kind of thing.

 

Bogey would probably pick out olive drab curtains, an olive drab carpet, and olive drab paint on the walls. Consistency counts, y'know.

[mental_traveller]

Great question! I don't think there's a pat answer though. If you look at history, some great achievements have come about because someone followed their heart and didn't listen to more "sensible" people who were thinking with their head. But if everyone always followed their heart and ignored all pragmatic or sensible factors, the world would be an almighty mess.

 

Personally, I try to listen to both head and heart, weigh up what each says, and then come to a decision. Ultimately there's no substitute for good judgement. I would just add that I've had the most success when I've done things which my head & heart both agreed on.

[uniqueone]

Have your heart report to your head. Then have your head remove the rose-colored glasses and put it through a filter. Next, take whatever is left and pass it on back to the heart to be acted upon.

 

Still as needed.

[martinpackage]

Hi everyone,

I think, of course, we have to listen two of them.

But which can get us creativity and wisdom is heart.

Thinking or reasoning is too limited. It would be like drive without GPS. We

can calculate, analyze, etc. on a crossroad but if we haven´t a map or GPS, we will be using limited resources.

Martin.

[JulieJ]

I think you have to use your heart and head at different times. If other people are involved, I think it is important to use your head and not to do anything that could hurt them. However, sometimes it is important to follow your heart to chase a dream. I just read an article about More Magazine about women who followed their heart. It was really inspiring; I hope that I'll have the courage to do that when I'm faced with a life changing decision.

[Trialbyfire]

Balance between your head and gut instinct. The heart and libido will only cause you grief, in the long run.

[Lostgurl]

Balance between your head and gut instinct. The heart and libido will only cause you grief, in the long run.

 

So so sad, that this is true.

 

I'm one of the stuborn ones that usually follows my foolish romantic heart and end up crying.