Following your heart or your head...which is better?

[lindya]

These days I try to go by my gut as much as possible.

 

So many organs clamouring for attention and insisting they know best. It gets terribly confusing.

 

Situation: Business meeting. Players: Me and a man I have more than a professional interest in. Dilemma: What will I wear???!!!

 

Head: It's not rocket science. A clean, well pressed white shirt and a dark suit with a mid-length skirt...."

 

Libido: Make her wear glasses? Put her hair in a bun and hope he does that "Oh Miss Jones, you're so repressed. Let's see what you look like with your hair down and your glasses off!!" thing? I don't think this particular guy quite has the imagination to..."

 

Heart: Something floaty and romantic would be more appropriate for this occasion. She needs to show her feminine side. Encourage him to picture himself running through a long-grassed field with her. Hand in hand....

 

Gut: Please. The woman's got practically zero professional credibility as it is, without a sappy piece of red sh*t like you butting in and worsening matters.

 

Head: Thank you Gut. Heart - I know you mean well, and I wouldn't want to devalue your contribution in the workplace. Passing tissues when clients start to cry, soothing irate colleagues, wasting time on Loveshack - that kind of thing. But please. Stay out of this.

 

Libido. Just a moment! Heart has a point. Just because a woman's in business, it doesn't mean she has to stop being a woman. This man could be doing business with a male if he wanted...but he's selected her, and you can be sure it's not because of her razor sharp mind. She needs to be wearing a short skirt, low cut top, padded bra to make it look like she's got a semi-decent rack, of course..."

 

Heart: If that's what it takes to make him notice her as a woman, then I suppose.... It's just that, I feel when a man's standing in church waiting for the love of his life to come floating up the aisle, he wants to see a modest, romantic angel. Not some common, wonder-bra-sporting, attention-seeking old whore....

 

Head: Could I remind you that this is business not a Lonely Hearts Club convention.

 

Heart: These days, the two are pretty much the same thing for many people.

 

Libido: Head and Gut are right, Heart. You're a bit too sappy and out of touch to be getting involved in this decision-making process. The guy's not about to fall in love with her, but there's nothing to say we can't give him a nice stiff....

 

Head: Be quiet, Libido. You've caused even more trouble in the past than Heart has. I agree with your point about a shortish skirt though. We don't want her looking like a complete frump.

 

Heart: I don't like the idea of the starched white blouse you mentioned earlier. Too severe and school-teacherish. How about a nice lacy top?

 

Libido: That black, see-through one?

 

Head. Hmmm. Okay - that would go quite well with the suit I had in mind. As long as she keeps the jacket buttoned up.

 

Libido (making mental note to turn the heating up high while Head's attention's diverted).

 

Heart: (giggling manically) Ooohhhhh. It's all so excitiiiiing! I love you guys!!! Okay. So what about the make up? Big doe eyes. Remind him of Bambi and make him feel all touchy feely and protective. Big, strong, wonderful guy that he is :love:

 

Libido: Glossy, pouting lips. Get him thinking about blow jobs.

 

Head: Just enough make up to make her look healthy, alert and well groomed. Ready to do business.

 

Heart: What about the shoes??? Open toed sandals. Nice pink toenail polish. It's supposed to be summer after all...

 

Libido: I was thinking more along the lines of 5 inch black patent spikes...but I suppose the open-toed sandals would mean she has to go bare legged, so I vote yes to that.

 

Head: The usual conservative, three inch heeled black pumps, close-toed will do just fine.

 

Gut: Ummmm...I Hate to break up this happy little party, but the guy is only retaining her services because he knows the silly cow has the hots for him and will charge him below the going rate. Lacy top? Pouting lips? Please....

 

Libido: So what if he's looking for a cheap deal? I still maintain his primary motivation is to shag her...

 

Head: Hmmm. You've made some valid points there, Gut. Okay. No lacy top. Starched white shirt. No flirty eye contact. Strictly business - and I'm going to make her charge this f*cker for every second of her time.

 

Heart: Noooooooooo!!!! I'm breaking!!!! I hate you, Gut and head. You're so cruuuuueeeel....

 

Libido. (whispering) There there Sweet-heart. Don't you take any notice of them. You and I. We'll work as a team here

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

I hope there's a part two!!

 

Head: Hmmm. You've made some valid points there, Gut. Okay. No lacy top. Starched white shirt. No flirty eye contact. Strictly business - and I'm going to make her charge this f*cker for every second of her time.

 

Men like bi-tch-es. Maybe heart and libido could work this angle?

[lindya]

:Men like bi-tch-es. Maybe heart and libido could work this angle?

 

I think heart's already been dabbling a bit too much already. Judging from recent telephone conversations this particular guy is starting to see me as something of an agony aunt which could well place me in the female equivalent of the Nice Guy dilemma.

 

Gut and libido are none too happy with that state of affairs. On a positive note, a colleague did notice him give my bottom a lingering once-over last time we met (you can imagine how pleased libido was to hear about that) so hopefully this isn't just about him angling for a discounted rate.

[Woggle]

I always filter my heart through my head to see if the heart will lead me to the right place. A lot of things may seem temptong but they will cause nothing but pain in the end.

[tanbark813]

lindya for the win.. That was awesome.

 

When I have spicy food for dinner I totally listen to my butt the next morning. He has the floor.

[Trialbyfire]

Hahaha...lindya, although my heart would be far more cynical than that.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

"It is well for the heart to be naive and the mind not to be."

– Anatole France

[Freedom Now]

Yup, mine is currently cowering in a corner, beaten to a pulp. I might let it come out again sometime in the distant future but only if it has learned it's lesson. Otherwise, bread and water rations for life.

 

And unfortunately for me, I have this nasty case of hope that believes that there is someone out there....somewhere....that will finally make my heart and my head agree with each other.

 

But, I'm not holding my breath.

 

[Trialbyfire]

And unfortunately for me, I have this nasty case of hope that believes that there is someone out there....somewhere....that will finally make my heart and my head agree with each other.

 

But, I'm not holding my breath.

 

To paraphrase an old saying, "when you least expect to find someone, it will happen". Relax and be yourself.

[melodymatters]

TBF, I'm with you in the heart dept. I wrapped mine in saran wrap and threw it in the freezer where it couldn't cause anymore trouble. After the last THREE serious relationships turned out to be with not incompatible people, but actually bad, mean cruel people, I told the heart to shut the f*ck UP !!!!

 

So I'm happily and willingly taking a break from even the most mild forms of dating, but here's the weird thing:

 

I've started having dreams where I am blissfully in love ( once with a guy who looked like john laroquette, NOT my type, and last night with the guy who sold me my boat three years ago !!!! )

 

So, SOME part of me is telling me I DO want love in my life and to get back out there.

 

Whats a gal to DO ?!?

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I start out by following my gut. Then the heart takes over. The brain is frantically signalling something by then, but the heart and the gut are fast friends, and don't usually allow interventions.

 

The brain gets a say much, much later. But when it does take over, it's pretty determined, and an absolute dictator.

 

I'm figuring out how to get the brain involved a bit earlier on. But that would boil down to significantly changing my personality.

 

And sometimes I think it's good that I let my gut lead the way, rather than my brain. It keeps my conscience happy, and keeps me more considerate, somehow.

[Trialbyfire]

TBF, I'm with you in the heart dept. I wrapped mine in saran wrap and threw it in the freezer where it couldn't cause anymore trouble. After the last THREE serious relationships turned out to be with not incompatible people, but actually bad, mean cruel people, I told the heart to shut the f*ck UP !!!!

 

So I'm happily and willingly taking a break from even the most mild forms of dating, but here's the weird thing:

 

I've started having dreams where I am blissfully in love ( once with a guy who looked like john laroquette, NOT my type, and last night with the guy who sold me my boat three years ago !!!! )

 

So, SOME part of me is telling me I DO want love in my life and to get back out there.

 

Whats a gal to DO ?!?

 

Hmmm...we could all fall on our knives and commit permanent heart seppuku, then run out and find a really, really, really good FWB. Hell, why settle for one FWB, diversify your portfolio.

[alphamale]

TBF, I'm with you in the heart dept. I wrapped mine in saran wrap and threw it in the freezer where it couldn't cause anymore trouble.

it'll be out of there soon enough MM

[melodymatters]

Well you and the rest of LS will be the first to know ! Hopefully I've gotten a little older and wiser through the last 3 sociopaths and might actually prove you wrong alpha and go for the *gasp* NIce Guy !!!!

[lindya]

lindya for the win.. That was awesome.

 

The team asked me to send on their thanks, Tanbark.

 

When I have spicy food for dinner I totally listen to my butt the next morning. He has the floor.

 

Thank goodness for vacuum cleaners.

[melodymatters]

really, that was good material lindya, you should submit it somewhere !

[lindya]

really, that was good material lindya, you should submit it somewhere !

 

Thanks MM. If only I could be paid for submitting stuff on a message board, I could give up my job and never have a "what to wear for work" dilemma again.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Thanks MM. If only I could be paid for submitting stuff on a message board, I could give up my job and never have a "what to wear for work" dilemma again.

 

Now you give me ideas. I want to be paid for my contribution on these forums.

 

I know, I know, it's worth maybe 5 cents per day. Or am I over-estimating myself, again?

 

Whatever. I'll take the 5 cents.

[alphamale]

Hopefully I've gotten a little older and wiser through the last 3 sociopaths and might actually prove you wrong alpha and go for the *gasp* NIce Guy !!!!

past behaviour is a good indicator of future behaviours....if you did go for "nice guy" then your mind would be elated but your heart empty

[2sunny]

in my younger years - i think i let my heart lead- which wasn't too smart.

 

now - i tend to lean on a good mix of both... but relying more heavily on my head for a good source of reasoning when i want to get carried away and know it is not in my best interest.

 

seems to be working better than the old days.

[coco_milkshake]

I used to go with my heart and it hasn't always helped me take the right choices unfortunately, my ex being a very good example of this. I am starting to go with my gut feeling now and so far it hasnt led me astray lol.

[Trialbyfire]

My left foot has more smarts than the emotional heart. Down with the heart! The heart does nothing beyond creating issues and problems for the owner. If you listen to it, it truly sucks as a self-interest, self-protection mechanism.

[lindya]

My left foot has more smarts than the emotional heart. Down with the heart! The heart does nothing beyond creating issues and problems for the owner. If you listen to it, it truly sucks as a self-interest, self-protection mechanism.

 

Mine is curled up in a foetal ball howling while Gut waves a finger in its face and yells "Didn't I tell you? Didn't I?". Head has retired to the garden shed and is pottering around in there (I think it's currently making a "Do not disturb") sign. Libido is sitting back with its feet up - smoking a cigarette and trying to cheer Heart up with talk about buying it a "Man Doll".

 

Hey - no wonder my heart feels so bad. Head, Gut and Libido all appear to be men.

[Trialbyfire]

Mine is curled up in a foetal ball howling while Gut waves a finger in its face and yells "Didn't I tell you? Didn't I?". Head has retired to the garden shed and is pottering around in there (I think it's currently making a "Do not disturb") sign. Libido is sitting back with its feet up - smoking a cigarette and trying to cheer Heart up with talk about buying it a "Man Doll".

 

Hey - no wonder my heart feels so bad. Head, Gut and Libido all appear to be men.

Haha...if Libido is smoking a cigarette, it begs the question...did you?

 

(j/k)

[lindya]

Haha...if Libido is smoking a cigarette, it begs the question...did you?

 

(j/k)

 

Buy a man doll? Not yet, but I'm seriously contemplating it.