niceandslow Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 So last night the guy I've been dating told me he loved me for the first time. The feelings are definitely mutual but I just was not ready to say it last night. Another thing, he told me he loved me while we were having sex. I was taken aback by him saying it because it came out of nowhere. My reaction was pretty bad when he told me, and I really did not know how to respond. So I have two questions, how can I make sure he did not say it in the heat of the moment since it was in the middle of sex? Also, do you think the way I reacted might stop him from saying it again?
joriel Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you gave him a "deer in headlights" look right after he said it, yeah, he might be a little put off. That's not to say that he won't say it again but I probably wouldn't, at least not until you said it first or we talked about it. Have you considered why, apart from the poor timing, you weren't ready to return the sentiment?
Krytellan Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 I personally think any man should know better than to say that for the first time in the heat of the moment. It makes the situation a little messy. However, keep it in perspective. It's not like he said it in order to have sex with you. Just be honest as to why you were put off. It's OK to tell him that the timing of it put you off.
Trialbyfire Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 Why not wait for a close moment, where the two of you are sitting on the couch, cuddling. Reach over, caress his face gently, give him a soft kiss on the lips and reciprocate the words. This way you don't have to have the awkward conversation.
Nemo Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 My reaction was pretty bad when he told me, What did you say, exactly? "Cool. So now you're my bitch." Was it something like that?
Author niceandslow Posted July 28, 2007 Author Posted July 28, 2007 I hesitated and said, "Do you?" Probably not the best response. I couldn't say it back right then because the timing was definitely off.
cmhbach Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 I hesitated and said, "Do you?" Your kidding...do you?...I personally would be pissed. At the same time, what idiot says that for the first time while having sex? Duh! If you do love him or are unsure or whatever I think you still need to communicate your feelings. IMO the worst thing you can do is ignore the awkward and say nothing. Frankly I wouldn't say a damn thing and would probably feel like a complete ass if I said I loveyou to a woman and her reaction was "Do you?" I hope this works out well for you. I've been married for 8 years and the one thing that has kept us together through some trying times is communication. Be honest and straightforward...if you are and he reacts like a jerk, it isn't your fault. Good luck!
Author niceandslow Posted July 29, 2007 Author Posted July 29, 2007 So, he said I love you again and not during sex. This time I reacted a lot better, and I told him I loved him too. So that solves that problem...
Nemo Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 So, he said I love you again and not during sex. This time I reacted a lot better, and I told him I loved him too. So that solves that problem... Yay. LoveShack helps to solve all your problems. Only one at a time, but it doesn't pay to be greedy.
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