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Posted
That statement right there is VERY SAD

 

It is sad...But, seriously, do many older couples like at age 65 or 70, or even 75 leave their spouse cuz they no longer love eachother? My grandparents HATED eachother, they were always pissing eachother off, either on purpose or just because they put up with crap over the years...Though, when my grandmother died, my grandfather mourned her and missed her so much.

 

Anyway, ya never can tell what goes on behind closed doors, or what goes on inside someone's head. Some may say they don't love their spouses, but the actions at the end of the day prove otherwise.

Posted
If I am way off I apologise for the mixup.

 

No problem. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Posted
No problem. Enjoy the rest of your day.

 

 

Wow, you too WWIU. ;)

Posted

I gotta run but I will check later to see when Ridingthebulls stopped posting and Ridingthebulls1 did just for fun...:p

Lookingforward to reading what you find!

Posted
I gotta run but I will check later to see when Ridingthebulls stopped posting and Ridingthebulls1 did just for fun...:p

 

Lookingforward to reading what you find!

 

 

ok well while I am waiting for my ride to show up...this is what I found

 

Ridingbulls stopped posting on July 1/2007

 

And Rudingbulls1 joined and sterted posting July 2/2007

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Call me crazy but....

 

 

ok ok I know we ARE in North America and you ARE innocent until proven guilty without a shadow of a doubt....:laugh::laugh:

 

Now I'm going for real, have a great day everyone! Even you Riding ;)

Posted

Yes, it is called gaslighting and it can indeed make one crazy and emotionally unstable. That is the whole point of it.

 

My X had been gaslighting me, (and only for a few months) and coming out of the R, man, I was sooooo confused. I was totally disorientated.

 

So, yeah, if an OW ends up with a "crazy" BW on their butt, in all probabilities, they can thank their MM for it.

 

I was not much different than the BS described here in my "crazy" days. I knew something was wrong and I knew he was lying. It is very disorienting and after a while, it does drive you literally up a wall.

 

.

Posted
Actions speak louder than words. She and him are both low-class, that is if you take this thread into factual consideration.The same goes for the woman who slept with the MM in the same room her kids, his kids and his wife were sleeping.Those tendencies are extremely low-class and twisted. A lot of these women need mental help.

 

 

You seem to be pretty obsessed with me.

 

What I did was low-class and twisted. But I was NOT myself when I was with him. I did EVERYTHING he asked me to do. I was his little "puppet" as my mother would say. He turned me into someone that was DISGUSTING to myself!! Thank GOD I have seen the light.

Posted
Why is it any less pathetic to hang onto someone else's man? Don't think any single men out there would want you or what?? Married men go for whoever will put out to someone taken and the women usually are pathetic and insecure about themselves. YOu fit the bill.

 

My dear, you are very wrong. I know you weren't talking about me, but you WERE making a generalization about OW.

 

Plenty of single men wanted me. xMM always told me I could have any guy I want and I really could. I am in no way pathetic, though I might have some insecurities, but what female doesn't? xMM relentlessly pursued me. After I told him I was done forever the FIRST time he kept on and on with emails and IMs. Then when I saw him in person, I caved again and started believing his crap all over again. Was I stupid for believing him? Sure. But I am not, nor was I ever, pathetic.

Posted
I didn't even know her how could I cause her emotional instability?? :laugh::laugh:

They were seperated at the time and she didn't even know I was in the picture.

And anyhow even if she did know about me..

 

Who threatens to kill themselves after their husband leaves them?

 

answer: An emotionally unstable person.

 

 

It doesnt matter that they were separated, they were still married.

 

What causes instability like that, people like you who sleep with their spouses.

Posted

Furthermore I think it's even in poorer taste to put the woman that sat by your side when you got laid off, the one who takes care of you like prob your own mother didnt, the one who bore your beautiful children and who will probably change your depends when you age like and old bugger, through an act as selfish as infidelity. ARe you really in any place to point out what is in poor taste?

 

 

Yeouch!

 

Yes, yes ... like my husband telling me hard all of this has been on him. QQ <eye roll>

Posted
You seem to be pretty obsessed with me.

 

What I did was low-class and twisted. But I was NOT myself when I was with him. I did EVERYTHING he asked me to do. I was his little "puppet" as my mother would say. He turned me into someone that was DISGUSTING to myself!! Thank GOD I have seen the light.

 

Could his wife say the same? Again, manipulation is the name of the game. If they aren't manipulating the OW, they are manipulating the wife. It just wouldn't work any other way.

Posted
The only thing I can say about my MM's W is one phrase : Guilt using the kids

 

She couldnt say she loved him. She didnt mention MC. ( Wants nothing to do with it). She couldnt say he loves/loved her because she knows that is over. (B4 i hear he only told you what you wanted to hear - sorry i heard everything and she admitted it to me)

 

Oh b4 i forget. I did something to him....I still cant figure that one out. What did i do to him?

 

So she used past tramantic ( sorry sp) issues. And the kids to gulit him into staying.

 

Excuses, the man stayed cause he wanted to.

 

Why is it when mm stays in a marriage you always hear the wife used guilt,but when mm leaves he leaving on his own accord.

Posted
I didn't even know her how could I cause her emotional instability?? :laugh::laugh:

They were seperated at the time and she didn't even know I was in the picture.

And anyhow even if she did know about me..

 

Who threatens to kill themselves after their husband leaves them?

 

answer: An emotionally unstable person.

 

 

You are kidding right? Tell me something were you in the picture before the call? Before the seperation?

 

An affair makes a person emotionally unstable. The cause of the instability is their spouse's betrayal. It's a very nasty deep pain that makes you want to pull your hair out, bang your head, run a car into the OW .. remember that case? How about Broderick? Remember her? Those are two great examples of how a betrayal can make a person go off the deep end. Neither one of those women had a history of violence.

 

If you were not in the picture, would her husband been dissapearing and not answering her calls and her questions? No. He probably would have been concerned for his children and what he was doing to their lives instead. He would have been checking in at least with them as often as necessary to make sure they were okay. If he is any kind of father at all.

 

My God there is no sympathy at all for this woman? I don't honestly understand your feelings for this man's wife. What exactly has she done to YOU personally other than being married to the man you wish for? The more I read the more convinced I am that you are still pining for this MM.

 

Do you feel your MM would be justified to speak of your husband just as badly for his lack of balls to keep his woman from straying? Not keeping her sexually satisfied maybe? Not making her feel special and beautiful?

Posted

When MM stays with the BS, it is always someone (or something) else's fault.

 

The W..the kids...finances.....hell, blame it on the dog even.

 

Same with the affair. It is everybody's fault but his. Wifey is cold...poor guy gets no sex. OW pursued him relentlessly...poor guy was seduced.

 

MM doesn't take any responsibility for anything. He is an innocent bystander, a victim of perilous women and circumstance.

Posted
WAs she begging in her emails? I think BS have a strong need to know what is going on in their lives and when someone you trust plays head games with you, yeah it might make you a lil crazy.

 

I'm with you. I don't beg. I also have never fought for another man.

 

I'm too emotionally scarred to play emotional head games. I like my medicine straight up.

 

 

She wasn't begging me to tell her anything. She was subtle, I would say. After I told her I am seeing someone, she started asking who, where I met him, how long have I been seeing this man. MM is from CT so I told her my guy is from my country so I think she just took it as the truth because after that she just emailed me about her kids and how her husband doesn't do much around the house. That could be true - how can he when he works from 8am till about 7ish. Esp around this time of the year when he needs to get drawings of hospitals done etc. So I can't really blame him for not doing a lot at home. At least he spends time with his kids.

 

Then she emailed me and said how they almost got divorced twice and if it weren't for the kids, it'd be different... etc. Most of the time, I would reply and be 'a friend' to her but after a while, I got bored of her emails. I felt a little guilty too but I don't think it's right of her to say anything bad about her husband, because MM hasn't said anything bad about her. Apart from him saying that things have changed over the years, he didn't say anything else.

 

If I was in her shoes, I would want to know. I have been there in fact, in my past r/ships but I didn't email the girls or threatened anyone. I just don't think it's worth it. If he doesn't want me, he can leave. Or I'll leave.

 

Yeah, I have never fought over a man - I just think that's pathetic. Yes, I can date other man and ppl keep asking why go for MM, well - sometimes when you fall, you just fall... no matter how hard you refrain yourself...

Posted
A BW or a BH have EVERY RIGHT to fight for their marriage! What do you expect the wife or husband just to hand over their spouse because an OW or OM WANTS him/her?

 

I would understand this statement if there is love between the H and W. But when there isnt any. Then why fight for something that isnt there. Why not find happiness either one deserves.

 

 

wow - i agree with you!

Posted
You are kidding right? Tell me something were you in the picture before the call? Before the seperation?

 

An affair makes a person emotionally unstable. The cause of the instability is their spouse's betrayal. It's a very nasty deep pain that makes you want to pull your hair out, bang your head, run a car into the OW .. remember that case? How about Broderick? Remember her? Those are two great examples of how a betrayal can make a person go off the deep end. Neither one of those women had a history of violence.

 

If you were not in the picture, would her husband been dissapearing and not answering her calls and her questions? No. He probably would have been concerned for his children and what he was doing to their lives instead. He would have been checking in at least with them as often as necessary to make sure they were okay. If he is any kind of father at all.

 

My God there is no sympathy at all for this woman? I don't honestly understand your feelings for this man's wife. What exactly has she done to YOU personally other than being married to the man you wish for? The more I read the more convinced I am that you are still pining for this MM.

 

Do you feel your MM would be justified to speak of your husband just as badly for his lack of balls to keep his woman from straying? Not keeping her sexually satisfied maybe? Not making her feel special and beautiful?

very well said..you put the words right in my mouth..ood

Posted
It doesnt matter that they were separated, they were still married.

 

What causes instability like that, people like you who sleep with their spouses.

yes, yes, yes...I love it when BS take up for each other!!!

Posted
You are kidding right? Tell me something were you in the picture before the call? Before the seperation?

 

An affair makes a person emotionally unstable. The cause of the instability is their spouse's betrayal. It's a very nasty deep pain that makes you want to pull your hair out, bang your head, run a car into the OW .. remember that case? How about Broderick? Remember her? Those are two great examples of how a betrayal can make a person go off the deep end. Neither one of those women had a history of violence.

 

If you were not in the picture, would her husband been dissapearing and not answering her calls and her questions? No. He probably would have been concerned for his children and what he was doing to their lives instead. He would have been checking in at least with them as often as necessary to make sure they were okay. If he is any kind of father at all.

 

My God there is no sympathy at all for this woman? I don't honestly understand your feelings for this man's wife. What exactly has she done to YOU personally other than being married to the man you wish for? The more I read the more convinced I am that you are still pining for this MM.

 

Do you feel your MM would be justified to speak of your husband just as badly for his lack of balls to keep his woman from straying? Not keeping her sexually satisfied maybe? Not making her feel special and beautiful?

 

 

Agreed. This woman, whatever you wanna call her is full of BULLCRAP!!!!:sick:

Posted
yes, yes, yes...I love it when BS take up for each other!!!

 

 

Why Thank You!!!!:bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:

Posted
MM doesn't take any responsibility for anything. He is an innocent bystander, a victim of perilous women and circumstance.

 

The other person who never takes responsibility for anything is the OW. Tell me, is every blessed thing the BS fault? It seems like they are the only ones who ever take responsbility for anything!!! :)

  • Like 1
Posted
The other person who never takes responsibility for anything is the OW. Tell me, is every blessed thing the BS fault? It seems like they are the only ones who ever take responsbility for anything!!! :)

 

GEEZ ST! Ofcourse its the BS's fault, if she hadn't married the MM who fell helplessly in love with the OW, NO ONE would be in this predicament to begin with.

 

Where have you been???!!!!!:D

Posted
Excuses, the man stayed cause he wanted to.

 

Why is it when mm stays in a marriage you always hear the wife used guilt,but when mm leaves he leaving on his own accord.

Maybe the quilt trip route doesn't always work.
Posted
You are kidding right? Tell me something were you in the picture before the call? Before the seperation?

 

An affair makes a person emotionally unstable. The cause of the instability is their spouse's betrayal. It's a very nasty deep pain that makes you want to pull your hair out, bang your head, run a car into the OW .. remember that case? How about Broderick? Remember her? Those are two great examples of how a betrayal can make a person go off the deep end. Neither one of those women had a history of violence.

 

If you were not in the picture, would her husband been dissapearing and not answering her calls and her questions? No. He probably would have been concerned for his children and what he was doing to their lives instead. He would have been checking in at least with them as often as necessary to make sure they were okay. If he is any kind of father at all.

 

My God there is no sympathy at all for this woman? I don't honestly understand your feelings for this man's wife. What exactly has she done to YOU personally other than being married to the man you wish for? The more I read the more convinced I am that you are still pining for this MM.

 

Do you feel your MM would be justified to speak of your husband just as badly for his lack of balls to keep his woman from straying? Not keeping her sexually satisfied maybe? Not making her feel special and beautiful?

 

That marriage was WAY broken before I came into the picture I hold 0 responsibility for their problems. I wasn't married to that woman, her husband was if he can't take care of what is supposedly so sacred to him what am I to do? It could have been me like it would have been anyone or ANYTHING that put the nail on the coffin, sooner or later the $ht was going to hit the fan.

 

AND they don't have children so before you go making assumptions about your one dimensional views on these types of scenarios, get your facts straight. The reason he stopped taking her calls that day was because she just did not get that he wanted out and she kept begging him to come back. That's where her emotional intelligence is lacking, you never win by begging anyone to do anything. You may get him to come back to you but it's never in her favour and so it happened.

 

I repeat she had no idea we were together, when this happened they had been seperated for 4 months so technically her ""devestation"had NOTHING to do with my rel with her H it was purely because she wanted him back.

 

I have no sympathy for her because she was off neglecting her H before I came into the picture, but I am also sure the neglect was mutual. It took her two years too late to wake up and that's what happens when you resign to your spousal duties, you leave your partner out in the cold. You snooze you loose. It just so happened he met me later and we fell in love.

But that marriage was over WAY before we even met.

 

Found out tonight they are getting a D, it was WELL overdue and should have happened before he met me but of course they were both in denial because they were too comfortable in their numb conformity trying to keep up with the status quo. I remember when he had first brought up the idea that he wanted a D and her response was "but how will I explain to everyone that we are no longer together, what will everyone think?" Well why didn''t she think of that before she was off for 2 to 3 months at a time on business trips leaving her H alone to his own devices? He had asked her many times to take a job that was less intrusive to the rel. but her career came first. And that I know from his mother's own mouth who assured me what their rel was like. In that respect he never lied to me. It's exactly what he had told me.

 

Why would I feel responsible for a rel that was neglected on both parts? What kind of an idiot would feel guilt for that? I certainly don't. It's their problem and their mess. The fact that he went on to make things worse is another story but the lack of wanting to do anything about their disconnection was very much BOTH THEIR doing I had JACK to do with that. He didn;t want to work on their marriage anymore than she did when he asked her to get another job she refused. It seems they were both escaping and inevitable and this worked for quite some time until one of them decided to open their heart to someone else. But she knew there were severe problems, as did he and did NOTHING about it. And I should feel responsible for that? DON'T EVEN TRY!

 

I will NEVER feel responsible for that and my conscience is 100% at peace. If it makes you feel better to blame me do so, that's your need you need to fill. As far as I am concerned I really don't care how anyone sees it from the outside I know what I lived and I know that the cross I had to bear was punishement enough. That is as much responsibility as I can take in all this, MY OWN pain and suffering.

 

In regards to her suicide threats, I have been dumped before and as devestating as that was NEVER did I threaten to take my own life to keep a man from leaving me, if I did something to cause the breakup I just assumed my responsibility and dealt with the consecuences, that's what MOST stable people would do. You can't force someone to love you or stay with you. You'd be ignorant to think otherwise.

 

 

I knew there was no love in that marriage his own family assured me of that, why he tried to go back one last time is his choice and he has his reasons, quite frankly I don't care what they were. Clearly they were not meant to be together because they lasted a whole of 4 months and now they want a D.

 

And to the person who said who cares if he is seperated he is still married, in Canada the law states that if a married person is living on their own for more than two moths they are by law considered seperated. We started dating at the two month mark. In a legal sense he was ready to start another rel, in practice not so true. So the law allowed me to have the relationship but the practice is what killed it. That is enough to live with to have to worry about taking some obsurd blame for their marriage failing.

Posted

TC, you really said it all! What I have been wanting to tell people when they say the things they did.

 

At times, it's hard to understand one's situation and I think it's only because they're ARE NOT in my or your situation.

 

Like my r/ship with MM, his wife needed a wake up call and even when found out/suspected something amissed, she still hasn't done anything about it. It's like she's just closed one eye and hope that things will get better but how can it get any better if she doesn't work with him to make things better?? I would let him go if she really wanted to make things better at home... but the thing is, she doesn't and on top of that, she still can't accept his strong personality even after 6 yrs of marriage. Telling him he should change etc... I just don't think that's right at all. You don't change the person you love/in love with.

 

Ooops, sorry - that was way off the subject!

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