silktricks Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 So, as I was painting tonight, I was thinking about my first husband. He was a player. After we were divorced I asked him once how he could convince so many women to fall in love with him, how he could get them to believe his many lies... What he said was, "Honey, I don't lie to them, they lie to themselves. I don't say "I love you", I say, "What if I said I've loved you since the first time I saw you." They don't hear the "What if I said" part, they just hear "I've loved you since the first time I saw you." People will believe what they want to believe, you just need to lead them to it." Like I said, he was a player. How many women here, though, get sucked in the way he sucked women in? How much discretion do we individually have for what is actually being said, compared to what it is we want to hear?
Hurt & Alone Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 It depends on the individual person, believeing what they want to, or hearing only what they want to. I can only assume if a person is desperate enough to hear those words from someone else anthing that resembles what they want to hear is what they hear. It is not just with this situation people tend to do this. For instance, reading some of the posts and arguments that go back in forth in this forum becasue someone did not read the entire post thourouly or they interpretted what was being stated the wrong way. Its sad, but, it is todays society. We do not have the time to think and analize the true content of what is stated or written. I on the other hand tend to over analyze everything and make sure what I hear and what I interpret are one in the same. For instance, when my xmm stated that he "was in love with two woman and that is the reason he could not walk away" I repeated to him, "So you can not walk away from me because you love me?". This was just to make sure I heard him correctly and that he was referring to me as one of the two. Go figure, he obviously did not love me enough when push comes to shove.
Author silktricks Posted July 27, 2007 Author Posted July 27, 2007 H&A, I love your signature - and fully relate to it!! Yeah, I agree with what you say. It truly does depend on the person. Some people just believe what they want to believe. Others check and double check and triple and even quadruple check that what we're hearing is what the other person is saying. (Unfortunately, sometimes what we're hearing is still a lie.) I'm sorry that you've got pain in your life, and hope you're feeling better soon.
Meaplus3 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 So, as I was painting tonight, I was thinking about my first husband. He was a player. After we were divorced I asked him once how he could convince so many women to fall in love with him, how he could get them to believe his many lies... What he said was, "Honey, I don't lie to them, they lie to themselves. I don't say "I love you", I say, "What if I said I've loved you since the first time I saw you." They don't hear the "What if I said" part, they just hear "I've loved you since the first time I saw you." People will believe what they want to believe, you just need to lead them to it." Like I said, he was a player. How many women here, though, get sucked in the way he sucked women in? How much discretion do we individually have for what is actually being said, compared to what it is we want to hear? Silktricks, Good Thread! I can honestly say that before I was married I dated a hand full of guy's. While they clearly were not meant to be so to speak, they never "Played" me like I was "Played" by mm. The mm I was involved in the ea with define's the word player! The hardest part about me falling for him is the fact that I let myself, and this makes me so mad! I thought I had more sense about me and it has affected my self esteem in such a negative way. How selfish of this B******! I will always be bothered by the fact the in this mm's mind he does not define having ea's as cheating on his spouse! That is SO wrong! Just because there was not pysical intimacy does not mean that it's ok to go around chatting up attractive woman and becoming emotionally close to them! I hope one day his actions' come back to bite him in the A**! AP:)
GreenEyedLady Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 So, as I was painting tonight, I was thinking about my first husband. He was a player. After we were divorced I asked him once how he could convince so many women to fall in love with him, how he could get them to believe his many lies... What he said was, "Honey, I don't lie to them, they lie to themselves. I don't say "I love you", I say, "What if I said I've loved you since the first time I saw you." They don't hear the "What if I said" part, they just hear "I've loved you since the first time I saw you." People will believe what they want to believe, you just need to lead them to it." Like I said, he was a player. How many women here, though, get sucked in the way he sucked women in? How much discretion do we individually have for what is actually being said, compared to what it is we want to hear? I hear fine...and if he said what if, that's what I would hear...but that's not what he said...I just believed what I was told and since the situation seemed as it was presented to me, there was not a need to question...just turned out it wasn't the truth..
Recommended Posts