funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 my ex got me a bsss on iterest free from her account, and its nearly time for me to pay up. She ended a very unhealthy relationship (many issues on her part) and a few on mine, and quite frankly drained out the energy from me with the emotions involved in being with her. Anyway when we split she wanted to stay freinds i never she cried and said i could still be part of kids lives. I agreed cos she seemed so genuine about it, a week later new guy, then i was told never to contact her again, which 7 weeks on i have been in n/c and finding that i really miss them all, but nothing i can do. Anyway should i send back the £300? or keep it? opinions pleaes. I have always given to her, and done many things for her out of love in the relationship. Quite frankly i was trated like **** in the end, with no respect what so ever. Thought's ? THanks
Aliddy Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 If it was me, I would not send the money, only because, I would want them to have to ask for it !!!!! That will be hard for them, as it means contact..... But Hey !!! it may give you a smile
Author funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Posted July 26, 2007 ha ha thats what i thought. You know i did send all her stuff back, and the cheque but about a month ago, her daughter used my bank details to buy somethinmg, she onky told me after but never sent the money. I cahnged the account over, and the cheque i sent is now not valid. I eamiled her to tell her to bin the cheque and ill post another. I thought she would have had the decency to let me know she got the email. it was buisness and nothin else. I feel she wants me to call and ask if she got the messeage. Anyway i never called, and now wont send unless she calls. if she emails ill do what she did...............**** all!
iamTHROUGH Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 How much is that in dollars? Sorry, I have no idea and I wanted some type of ballpark figure. Anyway, I would personally wait until I was asked to pay back the money.
Author funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Posted July 26, 2007 about $500 (was a cheap back up guitar) i guess. You mean personaly as in a call or email?
iamTHROUGH Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I mean, if I were you I would wait until she initiated contact asking you to pay back the money, whether that be through an e-mail from her or a phone call. I don't think you should have to contact her if she treated you rather ****ty towards the end.
tinke Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 yikes funky! why are you delaying and putting yourself through all this. it seems like a lot of added drama. if you owe her the money, the stand-up thing would be to just send it to her. put a sticky post note money owed for(whatever) and be done with it. this subject has come up numerous times, so you are evidently not in a good place about it. so, why not just mail it. are you worried that it is the last thing you can connect with her for, that once it is sent, you do not have any valid reason to contact her? i wouldn't want her to contact me, i would send it and be done so you can move on. it seems you are still holding onto hope of her return (can't blame you), but do look at the energy and measures you are using here. what really is the debate about sending it? if you feel you owe it-send it! remember---karma. funky, i know you don't want to face it, as most of us here..but i have been following your threads...stop! rethink! keep moving forward. you seem to be back-sliding. yes, we all do, but i want to call your attention to it. you seem to be hunting reasons to make a contact with her....heck, if so, just do it then. say hello, whatever, but please don't put yourself through all these stategies. you may even get the response to help you move on! c'mon funk...pull it together. i know it hurts, be careful!
Author funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Posted July 26, 2007 i guess i am really, and as you say,a little worried that that is it. i would like to call, but dont wanna get hurt. Its a tough place to be. I guess i would like to be friends, but the cash aint due till the end of august, so no rush i guess. im havin a better day today, i guess its a big loss to deal with, and am really feeling ok tonight. I just feel i did so much for her, and feel a bit of a mug to willingly send it......but i guess as you say holding on to it is holding on to her, and if i send it, thats it, no more ties. Its the end. But maybe ill call in a week or so. Will see. I dont wanna wollow, i really wanna get on with my life. i guess 9 weeks is not that long, andim starting to feel a little better. I guess its the school hols that brought me down again. B4 i send it, ill call her to make sure that she will bin the other 1 though.
tinke Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 well it's good to recognize some thoughts. now what? funky, i guess if you can handle any painful rejections from her, i mean if you are mentally prepared for that phone call to not turn out as planned...why not just give a quick call, explain your situation briefly, and be done. let her know you care. then that's it!!!! no more, and please do not sit around waiting for that call from her...live!!!! the purpose of the call is tho inform her VERY BRIEFLY that you care. i do believe she knows this, but if you feel you need that for you to finally say goodbye, why not?
Author funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Posted July 26, 2007 ;)hmmm i think she knows i care only too well.I think time without contact would make anyone realise who the person was. Ill stay in n/c for now,till im in a better place mentaly. The way i see it, i can call and say that anytime in a month or a year, it wont matter.
frd150 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Hey Funk, Have you ever heard of bad Ju Ju or karma. Im sure you have. I hate owing money. I understand your reasons to the fullest but i think you will show that you are the better man if you send it and it will be over and done with. We all know you are the better man. Oh btw im glad to see that you are doing better. Im about where you were a couple of days ago:(. Why does this happen????
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I say you need to contact her.. You don't seem to be able to accept that it is over and she moved on.. Maybe after hearing it from her lips one final time it will help you move on.. I say contact her.. tell her how you feel and how much you want her back.. As far as the money for the guitar.. If she wanted the money she would've been contacting you wondering about when you were going to pay it back.. She hasn't because she moved on.. and when a person moves on they clear the slate.. her slate is clear... Contact her..
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