almostthere Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Here's the story quickly... I sold my house 5 years ago and put all of the stuff in storage. His and mine. We went through a divorce and thats why we moved. I told him before the house sold to grab his things but he never did. I have paid over $700 over the 5 years and never asked a cent from him. I told him 6 weeks to save July 21st (Sunday) because things were getting delivered from storage and he was to come over and get his stuff. Well, he planned a fishing trip instead. Now I have his stuff that is taking up my whole dining area in my small two bedroom condo. I already sorted all my stuff and put it away or to my sister's for a garage sale. I am done. My family cannot eat at a table because his stuff is in the way and there aren't any other options for me to place his stuff. I called on Monday and asked when he was going to get it...he said he didn't know. He has not answered any of my calls or returned any of them. Now his girlfriend is telling me that he wont be able to pick it up by Friday. My bf and I are taking vacation starting tomorrow night and my two kids and his three kids are going tobe in the condo for 6 days. I cant expect to feed 5 children on the floor. I told him if he doesnt get it by tomorrow night then he can pick it up at the dumpster early saturday morning before garbage pick up. Now I have a moral struggle on whether I inconvenience us or really throw his stuff away. And can I get in trouble for throwing it away? And...his girlfriend wanted him to give some of my kids toys back to me (even though they were bought by him and her so they werent mine in the first place and I really don't have room in my condo for them) and she said I had to pick them up that day or she would throw them away. I picked them up that day and not even because of the threat but because they belonged to my kids and I didn't want her to throw them away. She is a very mean person to my children and I am looking into court help on making sure she is not home when my kids are there. Long story for another post but not today... Anything?????
Melovator Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Just tell him what his gf told you- pick up your sh*t or I throw it out. You've been more than reasonable. No reason why you have to keep being nice to your own detriment. That said no point shooting yourself in the foot... Is there a legal advice line where you live? Somewhere you can call to get quick advice over the phone? Do you know any lawyers who might be able to answer your question about whether legally its even still his property anymore- its been five years maybe it can be considered legally abandoned and therefore yours to do with as you will.
amaysngrace Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I think his GF doesn't want his stuff at her place either. You could put something in writing to them and send it regular and certified just to be safe. You would think that if he hasn't bothered to use the stuff in five years he really doesn't think much of it or find it necessary, so maybe it is trash to him? If I were you I'd put his stuff in the backyard of your condo, cover it with a tarp and let him know it's there as you had no recourse as it was making your living conditions unpleasant. And you apologize that he hadn't acted quicker or taken your family's needs more seriously. But you had to do what needed to be done. Give him a five-day deadline to get his property or you will consider it to be abandoned by him.
tamtam Posted July 30, 2007 Posted July 30, 2007 hey, I feel for you and when I think I have it bad, You do not have to put up with his girlfriend, tell her if any needs to be said about you and your kids only talk to your ex, and about the stuff, the tarp sounds good in the back yard, give a dead line and then donate it to goodwill, send a certifed letter only, so if you have to go to court. tell how long you had the stuff and how you have been trying to get him to get it, cover all grounds in the letter. hang in there.
stubbornbutnice Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 The certified letter is a great idea... make sure you keep a copy of the letter, and that you keep a receipt from the post office in case it comes up later. Also you may want to document what you remember about the times you've asked him to get his crap (dates etc.)... while you still remember. You have given him five years to get it together, and it was at your expense. It's not fair to you and your new life to be carting his stuff around with you, your kids, and your boyfriend. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it .
Author almostthere Posted September 5, 2007 Author Posted September 5, 2007 Thanks for all the advice. On the day before the deadline i sent a text to him and I said he can come and get it from in front of the dumpster Friday night or early Saturday morning but if he wasn't there before the garbage man...not my problem. I didn't really have any intention to throw it away...yet. But i was P*SSED!! How ignorant of him and his gf!! Guess he got the point because he was there Friday night at my condo to get his stuff. And after all the threats of destruction of property and whatever else he could come up with...he threw most of it out at the dumpster that night anyway!!........ Then he wonders why we got divorced!!!
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