Probably 98% of the woman on this site would be turned off by this on a first date?

[DateAnalyzer]

A guy sitting across from you-"SHAKING"? I was so embarassed to hear that I was shaking and the fact that I didn;t know means it's something I can't control. So i need to figure out how do I put myself in a situation that will not have me shaking. Someone did suggest a activity date because you are not face to face. With all my dates, i'm sitting across from them the moment we meet and maybe that's the problem.

[burning 4 revenge]

Maybe if you loosened up and stopped being DateAnalyzer and started just being a regular date it would help.

 

I think blind dates are a bad idea for you, you're too nervous. Try and become friends with women and take things as they come. By that I don't mean become vaginal, like one of their girlfriends, but try and be an acquintance with more girls and maybe it will go from there

[DateAnalyzer]

Maybe if you loosened up and stopped being DateAnalyzer and started just being a regular date it would help.

 

I think blind dates are a bad idea for you, you're too nervous. Try and become friends with women and take things as they come. By that I don't mean become vaginal, like one of their girlfriends, but try and be an acquintance with more girls and maybe it will go from there

 

 

Yes i have decided to do that and that should make a difference.

[Hazy]

No, if I were you, I would probably explain it to the date, though. You sound like a sweet guy.

[shadowplay]

Maybe try having a few drinks before the date to relax you.

[DateAnalyzer]

No, if I were you, I would probably explain it to the date, though. You sound like a sweet guy.

 

 

But I didn;t even know I was shaking, and I didn;t feel nervous that's why i was so surprised to hear that

[EnigmaXOXO]

Nah. Kinda endearing, actually. It may just mean you’re a little bit shy.

 

Would have been nice if your date had stepped up to the plate and put a little extra effort into making you feel more comfortable. But sometimes tension is contagious, and if you’re uncomfortable than those without the social grace to adjust themselves to it will feel uncomfortable, too.

[Lizzie60]

what was shaking, your hands..your legs?

 

put your hands in your pocket... or behind your back...

 

duck tape your legs on your chair...

 

no seriously...you need to relax or like someone said...take a few drinks or some kind of 'relaxant'... (pot maybe LOL)

[DateAnalyzer]

what was shaking, your hands..your legs?

 

put your hands in your pocket... or behind your back...

 

duck tape your legs on your chair...

 

no seriously...you need to relax or like someone said...take a few drinks or some kind of 'relaxant'... (pot maybe LOL)

 

 

I forgot to ask her what was shaking.

[love necessity]

A guy sitting across from you-"SHAKING"? I was so embarassed to hear that I was shaking and the fact that I didn;t know means it's something I can't control. So i need to figure out how do I put myself in a situation that will not have me shaking. Someone did suggest a activity date because you are not face to face. With all my dates, i'm sitting across from them the moment we meet and maybe that's the problem.

 

 

I think during a first date, it's very normal to be "nervous", but to the point of being scared is just odd? Did your date say you were shaking-scared, or shaking-nervous? Hmm.

 

Any who, don't put too much thought into this date. Def. keep on going on dates, until you meet someone who doesn't make you feel so uncomfortable, and not nervous. I know how meeting a person for the first time can be, everyone is get nervous during first impressions, some people don't hide it very well though.

 

LOL... I had a few bad ones myself in the past. Don't let it bother you, you'll find someone.

 

What are your subconscious thoughts during your dates? Just curious?

 

Get back to me ASAP!! I may have some techniques for you!

[LoveLace]

Sitting across from someone is considered a "formal" type of situation, so this will only make you feel more pressured. Do you like sports? Some girls enjoy sports, maybe a sporting event like a baseball game would make you feel more relaxed because it's not so formal and it's a form of entertainment that you both enjoy. Maybe not sports but that's an example. Also, maybe it would help to talk on the phone 1st, before planning a date.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, a guy who is so nervous he's shaking would turn me off.

 

Look, go out and start talking to strangers, be it male or female. Start in a lineup at any store and just chat. The more you get accustomed to talking to strangers, the easier dating will get.

 

Relax and have no expectations of the other person. In relaxing, you will not hold yourself to a standard.

[Star Gazer]

I agree with TBF and B4R.

 

Ask your friends and family whether you shake on a regular basis even when not nervous - you may have some sort of tick or something that you're unaware of.

[IpAncA]

I don't understand why this would be a turn off. People get nervous so what. We've all been there.

[LoveLace]

I don't understand why this would be a turn off. People get nervous so what. We've all been there.

 

For sure -- I don't think I'd feel turned off, as much as I'd kind of feel sorry for him, but I guess that's no better than being turned off....

[IpAncA]

Sure I'd feel bad but I would still date him. Why not? I think it's kind of cute actually.

[LoveLace]

Sure I'd feel bad but I would still date him. Why not? I think it's kind of cute actually.

 

I think it's sord of cute sometimes too, when I can tell that a guy is nervous, but if he couldn't step up and seem cool at other times, it would be hard to stay interested. Maybe the OP just has stage fright/anxiety issues. Some people freak when put in a situation that makes them feel "on the spot"...not just feel nervous but really freak out...maybe some relaxation/breathing exercises would help...before a date take a few minutes to breath in and out very slowly...don't deflate yourself though, then you'll be dizzy! Ya might be amazed how much it can calm you though...

[Storyrider]

Well, this is slightly different, but I remember once messing around in bed with a guy, my first time with him. He was trembling. I asked him about it, and he said it always happens to him. I thought it was endearing, and a bit flattering, as obviously his emotions were very engaged in what we were doing.

 

Also, I guess I could relate because the more emotionally invested I am in a new situation, the more nervous I get. As I've gotten older I've learned to deal with it better, but I can still be extremely nervous.

 

I used to have to interview prospective employees in my old job, and I would get shaky and nervous while conducting the interview, which was so humiliating. That person might end up being my employee, so it was really not a good way to start.

 

I don't think that would happen to me now, as I have been teaching in the classroom for several years, and I'm an old hand at public speaking. The key to confidence is to plan every word you will say and be over-prepared.

 

You could apply this to a dating situation. You can take a public speaking course and practice what you might say in front of a mirror. That might help.

 

In the end, I think it would also be fine to have a drink to make yourself more comfortable, but other than what I've suggested above, I wouldn't worry about it. Just make the best of it and be yourself.

[shadowplay]

It would probably turn me off a bit because it suggests that the guy is inexperienced. And then you have to wonder why he's inexperienced. But there are SOME contexts where it could be cutely endearing. Think of the car in the rain scene in Say Anything where John Cusack and Ione Skye are making love for the first time and Cusack's character is shaking because he's so passionate about her. That gets me every time. I think shaking can be a bit cute if it's a young guy who's making a move on a girl for the first time, but it's a bit weird and creepy if it's an older guy in a more mundane situation like eating and talking. Whatever you do don't apologize or tell her you're nervous. That will only draw attention to it. I really suggest you just try to relax before the date by having a few drinks.

[Trialbyfire]

Trembling while messing around is different from shaking nervously while sitting across from another person at the table, in a public venue. Some guys get...excited...which is all good.

[Hazy]

Maybe you weren't really shaking that much and she just decided to exaggerate and tell you that you were to put you at a disadvantage. If you didn't realize you were shaking, that is probably the case. I wouldn't worry about it.

[katiebour]

Were you trembling or fidgeting? I have to admit nervous fidgeting, finger-tapping, etc. really drives me up the wall.

 

Were you caffeinated or on any medication?