sparkie Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Ok... so I've been asking around with a few friends of mine, gay/straight/male/female/what have you () asking them their thoughts on new relationships and sex. As in what is an appropriate time to wait until having it? Or even if there is one? I've recently had this trouble with someone i was starting to date, after several conversations, then 2 or 3 hangouts, we had sex. We hung out one other time after this but since then contact has been first nill and now basically none... I guess i didn't mind doing it quite so soon because we had made those future plans and the fact that i was under the impression that we had hung out enough that it wasn't going to be a one time thing. I've had friends say that even if they had sex sooner than later, it doesn't change the fact that they are going to want to get to know the other person, but i've heard others say that it's always better to wait a while... what do y'all think? Maybe i'm just bad in bed ? also... i don't really want to hear anything about waiting until you're married... i'm gay... last time i checked i wasn't allowed to....
Trialbyfire Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I don't think there's a min/max time limit but both people have to be ready for it. I'm a snail's pace kind of person when it comes to this. Until I have that emotional connection/comfort level with the other person, it doesn't happen.
Citizen Erased Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Well I had sex with my bf after not even a month... we have been together for 3 years almost so I guess it didn't really matter. I think that even if you wait a year or whatever, it doesn't make your relationship more likely to last. At least if the person dumps you straight after it happens sooner than later.
Road Rage Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 is there such a thing as sex too soon ? Any time Chris Hansen walks into the room you may consider that you are having sex too soon:lmao:
dbtmarley Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 is there such a thing as sex too soon ? Any time Chris Hansen walks into the room you may consider that you are having sex too soon:lmao: You saw it last night too, huh? Me thinks the OP meant sex as in time frame not age...
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 to Canada...gay can marry here... There is no time limit IMO.. you have sex when you feel the connection is great and you feel like having sex... simple.
Author sparkie Posted July 26, 2007 Author Posted July 26, 2007 to Canada...gay can marry here... There is no time limit IMO.. you have sex when you feel the connection is great and you feel like having sex... simple. thats kind of how i've always felt about the subject. but then what leads people to lose interest in someone after sex? is it because the sex wasn't up to there standards? to me that's something that can always be worked on in a relationship the only thing that can change is your sexual attraction to that person. but if that is the case... then why hang out afterwards? Why not just stop communication immidiately? or atleast be honest that you're no longer interested instead of leaving it all open ended with an "i'll give you a call this weekend sometime." ? I've been in similar situations before, with or without the sex bit, and i'm just always confused by them....
Trialbyfire Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 A different spin on runaways. If someone runs away after having sex, you know what they were after in the first place. Take it with a grain of salt and say, okay, we had some fun, now it's better you wander away so I cease to invest further into someone who's a dine and dash individual.
Hazy Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I think there is. Sex is the most intimate you can be with another person, so I like to get to know the person well and be on the same page with that person. If you don't have any hopes or desires for future contact, just sex with this person and don't care what kind of a person they are inside, then sex is fine very soon, as long as you are safe.
LoveLace Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I say if YOU feel like it's too soon, then it is, but if not then you just did it when you felt ready and thats it. It all depends on the 2 people and how they perceive sex and relationships, etc..too soon for me might be considered too long for someone else...but generally, if you desire a meaningful relationship then it's normally better to wait until you know them well and are comfortable enough with them (which could range from days-months) If you just need to get laid then too soon is not even the question, in that case the question is, "Who's it gonna be?"
Lezbean Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I think it depends on the relationship. For the first time EVER, I slept with my soon to be H on the first night we went out. I was always very against that....but we did and it was THE VERY BEST sex both of us have ever had. We are still together (lil over 2 years), still have a mind blowingly awesome sex life and are getting married in January!
sandybelle Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I think for a guy is ok not to wait. How many times you've heard of a girl not wanting to meet again a guy with whom she just slept with? Guys are more likely to go NC after sex than girls are. At least this is my experience:bunny:
amaysngrace Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 How many times you've heard of a girl not wanting to meet again a guy with whom she just slept with? Me! I did it to my current BF. Because he was a lousy lay the first time and drunk off his ass. And I was just in it for the sex with that fine bod of his initially.
love necessity Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Ehh..I must say that "SEX" is always an iffy? I've only had sex with one guy in the past four years, my SO, but I have heard some crazy things from family and friends. So I came up with this conclusion. The timing of sex in relationships, to me, all depends on the people involved and if the sex was good or not. Sex is like another "first impression", only this time, an impression of how good you can make the other person feel--in bed! So when you are having sex with someone you really-really like, make sure you give them the time of their life, that way you know they'll be coming back. Timing...Should I wait, should I proceed? If you waited long enough to get to know the person in question, and then had sex with them, and it was pretty bad, then they might, just maybe give you a chance to redeem yourself. However, if you had sex with someone you didn't know and it was great, then I think it's safe to say that they will be banging down your door for more!
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