zilverenvlinder Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Do men really like bitchy women? I find myself to be overgenerous, overloving, and overloyal to my significant other. I find that sometimes this annoys him. I try to change it, but then I go back to my old, overgenerous, overloving, and overloyal self. ;-( It's just the way I am. Maybe I need a genuinely nice guy? Do nice girls finish last?
Hazy Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Seriously, get the book Why Men Love Bitches (don't take "bitches" literally, I know guys are going to get worked up about this suggestion.) It's an awesome book.
tinktronik Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Do men really like bitchy women? Men like confident , self-assured women that have something going for themselves. That can be difined as bitchy ...
lino Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Seriously, get the book Why Men Love Bitches (don't take "bitches" literally, I know guys are going to get worked up about this suggestion.) It's an awesome book. Is there a similar book for guys? Something along the lines of 'why women love bastards/a*sholes?' Well I'm a guy & I think I'm like you zilver. I don't think I'm overly nice, needy, giving, etc but maybe I'm not looking at myself honestly, I dunno. Also the types of women I attract lose interest in my quite quickly. I can only speak for myself but I don't find I'm attracted to 'bitches' or mean girls however these seem to be the only types that are attracted to me the 'nicer' girls don't give me a chance at all. I'm not so fussy or hard to please I just want a girl I find attractive & respects & wants me as much as I do her, yet to find 1 though...
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Do men really like bitchy women? I find myself to be overgenerous, overloving, and overloyal to my significant other. I find that sometimes this annoys him. I try to change it, but then I go back to my old, overgenerous, overloving, and overloyal self. ;-( It's just the way I am. Maybe I need a genuinely nice guy? Do nice girls finish last? I don't think like that... Being a bitch isn't a bad thing.. IMO it's all about confidence. Are men attracted to confident women... YES... big time. Being mean is not a good thing... but being confident is! btw I have the book: Why men love bitches... good book.
VIP Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 A lot of men don't distinguish between being confident and being mean. They just want to be involved with someone stronger than them. Someone who could be like a mother to them, someone they could be slaves to, someone they can be afraid of.
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 This book is called "Women who love too much". and 'Why Men Love Bitches'... but I prefer this one.
Krytellan Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 It's just the way I am. Maybe I need a genuinely nice guy? Do nice girls finish last? No dear, but the genuine girls like you just need to do everyone a favor and run into more of us generous men. If you seek the men that like bitches, then you get what you bargain for. The others are out there, they just may just blend in more by virtue of their personality.
NINja Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 NO!!! We don't. They piss me off. If I'm with a girl that's cute, but bitchy, its a no-go. As tinktronik said, us guys prefer self-confident women, sometimes self confidence may come off as bitchyness whatever, just my 2 cents
Cobra_X30 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 That cracks me up. You got it completely backwards. Guys hate girls who are bitchy... you just need to figure out how to get a man to appreciate what you do. Its natural for someone like me to appreciate a loving and generous nature at first, then slowly just grow accustomed to it. Familiarity breeds contempt so they say. I have met some girls who were very good at not allowing this to happen. Seriously, bieng bitchy is not the way to go. Its hard to really be in love with a girl when you just want to punch her out.
Tom725 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Maybe you are attracted to guys who like that sort of woman....maybe try going out with someone who doesnt fit your pattern just to get some difference of perspective
nicki Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I think the balance lies in being a nice person, but willing to walk if treated badly. Guys know which girls will behave like doormats and stay no matter what. And guys know which girls will let them know it when they have crossed over a line. Whether it's by calling the guy out on it, or, if necessary, walking away from the relationship. It's got nothing to do with being loyal, generous, etc. Those are the qualities you need to have, regardless. It's about being NOT being loyal and generous with someone who treats you like crap. Love is giving AND receiving.
directx Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I have been just as infatuated with a super nice woman who is very reserved as I have been with a very dominating, 'control freak' woman who doesn't hesitate to say exactly whats on her mind, be it nice or not. For me, its more than just a few characteristic traits that make a woman attractive to me. It has to be the whole package.
LoveLace Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I think the balance lies in being a nice person, but willing to walk if treated badly. Guys know which girls will behave like doormats and stay no matter what. And guys know which girls will let them know it when they have crossed over a line. Whether it's by calling the guy out on it, or, if necessary, walking away from the relationship. It's got nothing to do with being loyal, generous, etc. Those are the qualities you need to have, regardless. It's about being NOT being loyal and generous with someone who treats you like crap. Love is giving AND receiving. I couldn't agree more. "Bitchy" basically just means stick up for yourself, but being "mean" is different, that's more like throwing stuff or telling someone they are a useless piece of sh*t.... My roommate and I are a good example, although we are platonic friends and not together, issues just make it seem as though its treated like a relationship...but I finally got so fed up with things one night that I left just for the night. Until he blew up my phone the next day, I didn't plan on going back the next night either....anyway we talked a lot and things are so much different since then, his attitude is 100 X better than before, etc. He finally realized that I don't necessarily "need" him and that I'm not afraid to leave him there to deal with finances, etc, on his own. I was basically always "nice girl" up until then but I guess he realized I can be "bitchy" and that pissing me off is a bad idea. Now he's the more giving one in the friendship, when it was the opposite before, and he finally seems to appreciate my friendship and things I do for him, etc. But I think men are attracted to "bitchy" mainly because it presents a challenge, and men love challenges.
Trialbyfire Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I have been just as infatuated with a super nice woman who is very reserved as I have been with a very dominating, 'control freak' woman who doesn't hesitate to say exactly whats on her mind, be it nice or not. For me, its more than just a few characteristic traits that make a woman attractive to me. It has to be the whole package. Why is reserved considered nice, and assertive with no fear of speaking up, dominating and control freak characteristics in women? This smacks of double standards.
Rowdy Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 As a man I can tell you that most men like women with some confidence. This has already been suggested by others. I do not like "bitchy" women, but I do like women who are confident and a little independent. By that I mean a woman that is not too clingy and/or need me to be with her 24/7. My last girlfriend could definitely be classified as a nice girl. She was the kind of woman that would make a great wife for someone. The relationship ended pretty quickly though because she was too clingy. After dating for a few weeks I was being called every day and receiving a ton of text messages. Furthermore, some of the text messages were about how much she missed me, etc. Now if we had been dating a little longer and had been intimate such messages wouldn't have bothered me. However, we had just began dating and had spent little time together or had any type of physical interaction. Basically her conduct scared me because she came on way too strong too early.
LoveLace Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 As a man I can tell you that most men like women with some confidence. This has already been suggested by others. I do not like "bitchy" women, but I do like women who are confident and a little independent. By that I mean a woman that is not too clingy and/or need me to be with her 24/7. My last girlfriend could definitely be classified as a nice girl. She was the kind of woman that would make a great wife for someone. The relationship ended pretty quickly though because she was too clingy. After dating for a few weeks I was being called every day and receiving a ton of text messages. Furthermore, some of the text messages were about how much she missed me, etc. Now if we had been dating a little longer and had been intimate such messages wouldn't have bothered me. However, we had just began dating and had spent little time together or had any type of physical interaction. Basically her conduct scared me because she came on way too strong too early. Perhaps "bitchy" to a man could also mean "hard to get"....after all no one stays interested in someone who is too available.
jcster Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Could someone PLEASE give me a definitition of bitch? I've been called a bitch so many times, for so many different reasons - and none of them had to do with being cruel or insensitive to other people. I've been called a bitch for winning games and enjoying it, for catching friends in mistakes of logic, even for having an opinion on restaurants. I would be very interested to see if anyone can come up with a definition that doesn't in any way imply that being a strong, intelligent, confident woman is an undesirable trait? I'd scream double standard, but it's so trite that it's not worth the breath.
nicki Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Jscter, you're such a bitch! Really, I know what you mean. I've found a lot of people will call me a bitch when they are trying to control me, or throw me off the right track. As in: Guy: I am just "friends" with that hot girl from work. You are such a bitch. Me: Really? Guy: Yes, insecure and clingy, too....and a bitch. Me: *high heels clicking on the floor as I walk out the door*
nicki Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Men who want little girls aren't "right in the head." A true bitch is simply a mean person who doesn't care who she steps on to get her way. There is no kindness in her. She will use people. She will destroy a man just because she can. When she breaks up with him, it will be without thought to him and his feelings. She'll just disappear without explanation. An intelligent, strong and capable woman is kind, but firm. When she breaks up with a man, she will explain why, caring about his feelings, but honoring her own decision to move forward without him. It's just that there are some men can't handle a strong, independent woman. They want a little girl to control. (Like some women want a guy they can boss around into submission.) And some men want to be dominated by a woman who will treat THEM like a child. (Just like some women who want a "bad boy" who treats them like crap and controls them.) Either way is dysfunctional.
jcster Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 And some men want to be dominated by a woman who will treat THEM like a child. Boy....yeah...there are a LOT of those out there! It's a fetish, I swear.
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Babe In Total Charge of Herself ... or Himself. Since I’m convinced every guy has an inner bitch, too. Now if we’re talking psycho, ninja, bunny-boiler bitch, that’s a WHOLE different animal! ... Now if I could only get total charge over this d*mn editing function.
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