HappyAtLast Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I posted this on another threat, I just wanted to make sure you saw it. I am sincerely sorry to have offended or insulted you.... I apologize if I have insulted you, I haven't meant to.. although I did bristle a bit when you said that my statement regarding my truly loving a woman is ridiculous. I in no way meant to ridicule you, I do not feel like I have the right to ridicule or judge anyone. That being said, can we call a truce? I will tell you a bit of my back story, should you be interested. Yes, I was married for twenty years. My XW had several affairs in the first five years of our marriage. (So yes, I get that pain, truly, I am nto emotionless... but many years have gone by...) I stayed, because I was not going to abandon my son and be only a weekend dad. So - she did do something wrong, but still I stayed (and I don't mean I stayed and punished her, I did not do that). As years went by things went downhill. I cannot tell you how many times I begged her to go to counseling with me, try to get things back on track. She refused. I finally gave up and we co-existed, pleasantly mind you, for our son. I told my XW that I would be leaving when my son went away to school. So, if she was destroyed when I left, which I had been telling her for five years that I was going to... she had ample opportunity to help me fix our marriage, she opted not to. I met my wife (I only call her my OW on this board for clarity) two months prior to my son leaving for school. Yes, I am deeply in love with her. She is an amazing woman, my best friend, a brilliant surgeon, she is my heart and soul and has been for all of these years. I am not sure why my love for my wife upsets you? So, I acknowedge that cheating on my XW was wrong. If you have read any of my posts I in no way try to excuse myself. Regardless of what my XW may or may not have done, I am at fault for cheating, I fully acknowledge that and certainly am not proud of it. Anyway, again, apologies if I have upset or insulted you. Quote: Originally Posted by bullhunter hmmmmm, let's see now. . . HAL, you were married for 20 years to a woman. She didn't do anything wrong in particular, you just weren't that happy with her any more. This is the woman that you originally promised to love and cherish until death do you part. So, instead of doing so, and instead of working on the problems in your marriage, you met another woman, fell in love and left the first. Now you are riotously happy for 40 years. As I recall you said somewhere that she still makes your heart stop, after 40 years. Now that shows a depth of emotion. And yet, you often refer to her as your OW. I didn't know that it was possible for a man to be married to a woman for 40 years and still think of her as an OW. Yet you, as a man, cannot understand the consuming RAGE that can occur when a person, me for example, feels betrayed by the woman he loves. A woman I needed, but who drifted out of touch and became consumed with everything and everyone except for me. I felt so betrayed and so angry and so hurt that I felt impotent by the very strength of my emotions. This isn't the first time that I'm astounded by your reactions, because they feel so completely distant from the emotions not only that I experience but of any man I've ever known. For some reason, you feel that you have done nothing wrong, though you left a woman you promised to love, honor and cherish. In leaving, you most probably destroyed her, even more so in the society of 40 years ago. Yet you have the unbelievable gall to criticize, and even ridicule me for hurting my wife who I loved then and still love. Oh yes, HAL, to answer your original insulting question... no, my wife doesn't read on this forum.
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