emmaUK Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 i been having some money troubles these past few weeks .. having to try n make things last. work has been a bit slow.. all the bills came in at once and i am really really struggling. i owe about £1000- £1500 at the moment the BF was over on saturday and i opended a letter which said that i may be evicted from my home if i dont pay a certain amount of money. i got upset and the Bf sais that if i pay some of the cash off ... he will help me out with £20 to get some food for me and my daughter. he said he would put the money in my account on wednesday when he got paid. i planned all my bills and food shopping around getting £20 in my account today and paid off a little bot of what i needed to and got enough food to last me and my daughter till lunch time today. me and the BF did have a bit of a argument last nit coz i think i caught him out with a lie but he saying i overreacted and im the one in the wrong... and its carried on today a bit but not as bad as last nite. just havent really spoken to each other much. i text him before his lunch break and said "i dont suppose you will still put that £20 in my account today, please let me know if not so that i dont go to the shops n my debit card get declined" he text back "u know im bigger then that .. i will havta do it 2moro though coz i forgot" i text him back ...is there no cahnce u can do it today. im so skint n need to buy us food. was kinda counting on that today. but if u really cant then dont worry i didnt hear from him for a while.. the time ran past his lunch break when he would have been able to go to bank n transfer the cash. i then received this.... i didnt have time to go to bank. u may as well make love to a cash machine next time. blatantly meanign that im a money grabber. i text him saying that i think its cruel for him to make me the offer off his own back n tell me id have the money on wednesday if he is jsut gonna tell me to go n F**k a cash machine when i accept the offer n then rely on it. he has jsut rang me n said "i meant that the only time we have talked today is when you wanted to see if i would still help you out." i told him that i was relying on the money and that we got no food.. he said "that aint my problem or my fault.. it aint my fault that u got no food" i said "but u told me wednesday so i paid wot i needed to pay and was relying on you helping me out" he said "you are nothing but a greedy woman... you are a greedy bitch" then said "i dont wanna be with you any more coz the way you have been last nite and today is bad emma" (if u wanna find out about what happend last nite read my previous post) i said "i dont wanna split up with you though, i love you" he said "OH DONT START THAT EMMA" i started crying but he said "it aint my problem,,, i dont care any more" im gutted
Hazy Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I'm sorry you are going through this. Best you let it go, he doesn't care about you that much. You deserve better.
Author emmaUK Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 he jsut text me... when u f**k up u dont wanna admit 2 it liek last niteu didnt even wanna meet half way like ANY adult would. im sick of us rite now, it aint been working for a while . save your "love you" business emma coz its always a minute 2 late. i text him saying im not a greedy bitch and we jsut havent got anything to eat he text - i said you were cheeky. then when u didnt think nothing of it (i didnt say this at all i think he has misheard me somewhere) i lost it coz u r so sure that u dont eva do anything wrong. im tired emma. so tired of it all
lovelorcet Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I don't want to sound like a jerk but why are you wasting your time obsessing over these stupid text conversations and not getting your life together? Priority 1 is your daughter and if you are having these kind of money issues then you are not taking care of priority number 1. Learn how to take care of yourself if you want to be able to find a decent partner.
Author emmaUK Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 im having these money problem coz i recently moved house and its costing me alot more to live here. if i had known i never wuda moved. the reason im in trouble with housing is not coz i am not taking care of my daughter and i cant even beleive u jsut said that. u are making an assumption about something u dont even know the ful story about. do u think i wanna be in this situation and i would be careless and rekless enough to leave myself short on purpous so that i cant afford food for daughter. i may be obssesd with a guy but im not a stupid old witch who doesnt care abotu her childs welfare.
lovelorcet Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Again, I am sorry for your situation but not having enough money to buy food for a child is a MAJOR problem. The problem is NOT that some dude doesn't want to put cash in your bank account.
Author emmaUK Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 like i said "i moved house.. was given two hours to decide if i should accept this place or not before i had the chance to even find out anything about it... was the biggest decision of my life" now i am here it is costing me alot more money then it was in the old place. ALOT MORE and i am struggling i guess you are insinuating that im spending my money on something else.... well i can tell u how wrong you are. i have never been more insulted in my life then to be told that im not looking after my daughter propa by someone that doesnt even know my situation. its funny how my health visitor doesnt think so and thinks i have done a wonderful job with bringin up my daughter. but i guess someone who dont know my situation must be right and i really am not looking after my daughter properly
Cobra_X30 Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Emma, I know this sucks! But its the best thing for you. This guy is a douchebag. You definitely deserve someone better. He should have been good to his word, even if you got in a fight. Besides the guy was only offering a 20 and he acts like its a huge favor. I say you "should make love to a real man", and never talk to this dishonest twat again.
Star Gazer Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Again, I am sorry for your situation but not having enough money to buy food for a child is a MAJOR problem. The problem is NOT that some dude doesn't want to put cash in your bank account. I have to agree. Your focus is off target. If I were in your situation, I'd be on here looking for help and advice on how to get my act together to feed my child and not get evicted, not whining about my boyfriend's text messages.
ash519 Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Emma- What kind of work do you do? Maybe a new job may help your situation more. Also, This guy is a jerk. He did lie to you yesterday...maybe not for a terrible reason, but he lied....I think it is definately time (especially after today) to work on disconnecting yourself from this man and to start focusing on you and your daughter.
Chinook Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Also, This guy is a jerk. He did lie to you yesterday...maybe not for a terrible reason, but he lied....I think it is definately time (especially after today) to work on disconnecting yourself from this man and to start focusing on you and your daughter. Agreed and he's still making it out to be just about you. Yes, the money is an issue because he said he'd loan it to you and you could make ends meet. For me, if someone stands by their word, then great...when they don't, for whatever reason, that's enough for me to move on.
Trialbyfire Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I don't know if you have this in the UK but there must be some equivalent to it. It's called the Food Bank. They provide dry and canned food stuffs to help tide over families in need. Forget the b/f, go and get some food for your child.
lovelorcet Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I never said that you are doing a terrible job raising your child. I have no basis to say something like that and I never did. Not having enough food for a child and getting evicted from an apartment are MAJOR issues. It does not really matter whet else you have to say about your situation it will not change the fact that these issues need immediate care. Your bf is a jerk... But who cares, knowing that is not going to put food on the table; what is important is that you get your act together. What you should be doing is figuring out how to take care of yourself and your child on your own.
Hazy Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Emma- What kind of work do you do? Maybe a new job may help your situation more. Also, This guy is a jerk. He did lie to you yesterday...maybe not for a terrible reason, but he lied....I think it is definately time (especially after today) to work on disconnecting yourself from this man and to start focusing on you and your daughter. This is excellent advice.
Touche Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I'm sorry but I agree with lovelorcet 100%. This guy is not worth your time or trouble. You have much bigger and more pressing problems. Besides, if he loved you so much, he wouldn't be able to do nothing while you and your daughter starve. Forget about him. And I think TBF had a good idea. Do you have a food bank there? I'd be worrying about putting a plan together to get back on your feet. This guy is a distraction from your life and what is truly important.
allina Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 So why did you move in to a house that you can't afford? How long were you with this bf? He acted like a jerk but he was right, it isn't his responsibility to pay your bills or provide for you and your child (unless that child is also his) Do you have a job or an education?
Touche Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I agree with Allina. I was wondering about the housing situation too. I've never in my life heard of being pressured into moving somewhere. And how were you surprised at the costs? And where's the father of this child. THAT'S who you should be going to for money. Does he pay child support?
Lishy Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I think you are all missing the point here. Emma will do what she has to to feed her child and making assumptions that she is not a good mum is not helpful and it is not advice of any sort! Do you live in her shoes? No you dont so dont judge her parenting skills! Emma I understand how you feel as I too am a single parent and I know how hard it is to hold it all together. Emma was relying on a promise the man she loves made to her, he welched on that promise cos he is a tosser and now she is in trouble. She is NOT a bad mum she just has a useless boyfriend! Emma i know it is hard as he probably has great qualities but do you REALLY want to be with a guy who could happily stand by and watch you and your daughter go without food? Answer that and then make a choice as to your future with this poor excuse of a man! And for the record I am sure you are a fabulous mum honey!
Trialbyfire Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 If you go back on her last thread or so, she was already looking to split with him. If so, why would you do this? He owes her nothing, particularly financial support. Sorry but single motherhood should not be self-entitling. Focus on your child and not on the drama boys.
Touche Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Lishy that was nice. And I'm sure that the OP means well BUT afterall, what is our MAIN job as parents? It's to provide food, shelter and clothing for our children, isn't it? I think we can all agree that that is our main job, right? This woman is about to lose shelter and says there's no food. That's two out of three basic things she's not able to provide for her child. Doesn't matter if she loves her with all her heart. She really needs to concentrate on correcting that situation and worrying less about this stupid boyfriend.
Lishy Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Oh and she didnt ask for his help - he offered it! Then he left her and her daughter high and dry. I know he is not entitled to look after her daughter but he should not say he will do something and then let her down, especially when it is as important as food! Wether she has a job or an eductaion is not the point of this problem and it is taking is far off topic. She is asking advice about her boyfriend not her eduucation or earning potential! This place is full of people who dont even read the problem, they just clap their gums about whatever they feel like saying and all it does is make the OP wish they had never posted! THINK before you type people!
allina Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I think you are all missing the point here. Emma will do what she has to to feed her child and making assumptions that she is not a good mum is not helpful and it is not advice of any sort! I NEVER said she wasn't a god mom, at all! However having no food in the house for your child is something I will rightfully question You can't count on financial gifts from random men to get by, and since she is posting about this situation I am asking questions that are relevant to her situation.
Touche Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Oh and she didnt ask for his help - he offered it! Then he left her and her daughter high and dry. I know he is not entitled to look after her daughter but he should not say he will do something and then let her down, especially when it is as important as food! Wether she has a job or an eductaion is not the point of this problem and it is taking is far off topic. She is asking advice about her boyfriend not her eduucation or earning potential! This place is full of people who dont even read the problem, they just clap their gums about whatever they feel like saying and all it does is make the OP wish they had never posted! THINK before you type people! I don't see how any of it has been off-topic at all. She asked about the b/f and she's getting advice to forget him. What sort of person would do what he's doing? Hell, I'd offer a STRANGER money if I encountered them and saw they were starving and needed food. He's a jerk. The daughter is HER and the FATHER's responsibility. No one else's. I hope she learns to never rely on anyone else.
Lishy Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Hi Touche! If he had not OFFERED her money I am sure she would have bought more food and not paid another bill. She is not homeless is she? All she has done is take a house that is costing her more than her previous house and she is struggling. I struggle too and although I wouldnt rely on a man if my SO offered to help me out I would expect him to follow through.
Trialbyfire Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 She really needs to concentrate on correcting that situation and worrying less about this stupid boyfriend. Couldn't agree more with this. Lishy, this is the base premise of what everyone is telling her. Emma is in a situation where she's cycling on the jerk. She's got a much bigger problem than a b/f who doesn't come through. If you look at her historical thread, you will see that she knew he wasn't good for her and she wanted to break up with him. Why in the world she would rely on him for anything, is unrealistic, nvm that it's something as important as putting food on the table for her child.
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