CAMAYPARK Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 It has never crossed my mind to rat on MM nor will I ever will. I'm the one that walked into this mess and I would rather that I sort myself out. Anyway, what good can it ever achieved if the OW tells the W?
IWALH Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 If you have any kind of a conscience the urge to tell her the truth will probably last until you do tell her or it will just sit in the back of your mind and heart forever. After you tell it will feel like a HUGE burden lifted off your shoulders. But it's a pretty big thing to tell someone that kind of thing.... I just know that I would want to know if I were the W and in my case she kept telling me I "owed her at least this much." She told me this both times.
TogetherForever Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 If you have any kind of a conscience the urge to tell her the truth will probably last until you do tell her or it will just sit in the back of your mind and heart forever. After you tell it will feel like a HUGE burden lifted off your shoulders. But it's a pretty big thing to tell someone that kind of thing.... I just know that I would want to know if I were the W and in my case she kept telling me I "owed her at least this much." She told me this both times. I totally agree. The temptation will stay with you until someone eventually tells the bs. Wether it be the ow or the ws. (I think I already posted this earlier)
sadbuttrue Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 i actually did tell the W anonymously. she still does not believe it though. and i still want to tell her more. i would love to tell her everything. i do not quite understand this need because i do love him and dont want him hurt. i agree with the together that this feeling will not go away until she knows somehow.
IWALH Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 i actually did tell the W anonymously. she still does not believe it though. and i still want to tell her more. i would love to tell her everything. i do not quite understand this need because i do love him and dont want him hurt. i agree with the together that this feeling will not go away until she knows somehow. Of course she doesn't believe you. Because all other women are disgusting liars that just want to break up a happy home and their husbands are the ones that are going to tell them the real, honest to God, raw truth.
sadbuttrue Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 i feel sorry for her in a way. at least i am aware of what he is doing to me. her pain hasnt even begun yet.
norajane Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 i actually did tell the W anonymously. she still does not believe it though. and i still want to tell her more. i would love to tell her everything. i do not quite understand this need because i do love him and dont want him hurt. i agree with the together that this feeling will not go away until she knows somehow. Then why didn't you tell her everything when she talked with you and asked you? Instead, you lied to her. In fact, you lied FOR HIM, to protect his lying, cheating ass.
norajane Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Of course she doesn't believe you. Because all other women are disgusting liars that just want to break up a happy home and their husbands are the ones that are going to tell them the real, honest to God, raw truth. You lied to your MM's wife, too. You didn't tell her everything. She had to dig it out for herself, maybe even by reading your posts here. Why all this derision for the wives? You lied to her, sadbuttrue lied to her. The OW's seem to do just as much lying as the H's when they are faced with the Wife's questions. So why is it surprising that the W doesn't automatically believe everything, nor does she even know what to believe, because NOBODY tells her the truth about anything?
sadbuttrue Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 norajane i wish i had told her everything. but it was a difficult confrontation, and i was not ready to out him in front of his face. i didnt want to betray HIM that way. it doesnt mean that i dont think she deserves to know everything and be aware of what is happening under her nose. she does. one day she will know whether i am the one who has to tell her or not.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Why all this derision for the wives? You lied to her, sadbuttrue lied to her. The OW's seem to do just as much lying as the H's when they are faced with the Wife's questions. So why is it surprising that the W doesn't automatically believe everything, nor does she even know what to believe, because NOBODY tells her the truth about anything? Hmmm...Wives automatically believe many things, don't they? That the OW pursued their H, that the H never loved the OW and so on... The fact of the matter is that people lie to protect themselves and the ones that they love... Now personally, I wouldn't lie, I would just tell her to talk to her H...because if a woman has an idea that her H is cheating, she's usually right...So if the W is asking questions, she pretty much already knows something's not right... And people will believe what they want to believe...
stillafool Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Why is the need to tell the W so overwhelming for the OW?
GreenEyedLady Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Why is the need to tell the W so overwhelming for the OW? It's isn't for every OW...I personally don't understand it...Live and let live...Everyone's responsible for their own choices...No need to tattle about it...
TogetherForever Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 It's isn't for every OW...I personally don't understand it...Live and let live...Everyone's responsible for their own choices...No need to tattle about it... I agree GEL. Never Kiss N Tell:D
outofdarkness Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I know there have been a number of thread's about the temptation to tell the wife. What I am wondering here is for the OW who's ea or pa ended were you tempted to rat out mm? If so for what reason's and for how long after you ea or pa or both ended? (keep in mind that my xmm lives in the house nextdoor to mine and I see him and W on a daily basis). AP:) What's your reason for wanting to tell her? Just to rat him out? I myself would have liked to have known, but not the way it was told...If you're trying to hurt him, there are better ways..Telling her devastates her and the kids, if there are any..He comes out ok in the end...IMO
stillafool Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 It's isn't for every OW...I personally don't understand it...Live and let live...Everyone's responsible for their own choices...No need to tattle about it... I don't understand it either. I would be too afraid the W would physically hurt me in some way. Some wives get so angry and want revenge immediately when they find out and usually are more upset with the OW than their husbands (which I will never understand).
East of Jupiter Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 Hmmm...Wives automatically believe many things, don't they? That the OW pursued their H, that the H never loved the OW and so on... The fact of the matter is that people lie to protect themselves and the ones that they love... Now personally, I wouldn't lie, I would just tell her to talk to her H...because if a woman has an idea that her H is cheating, she's usually right...So if the W is asking questions, she pretty much already knows something's not right... And people will believe what they want to believe... Not all BWs believe the H. I certainly didn't. And I didn't blame the OW. Let me tell you what happened ... My husband confessed. Of course, he left out details. Isn't the advice many give each other? Don't tell everything! She was all too eager to fill me in. And that was her first gift to me. You see she confirmed everything I suspected and most of what he had said. It even helped to start some trust in him again. She was so upset that he had violated HER TRUST. Say whu? Okay. Not only did he tell me about the affair, he told me all about her. Oh, she really felt betrayed by that. She was very angry with me. When it was clear he would not respond to her, she came after me. The anonymous e-mails, the disgusting posts on my website. The hang up calls to the house, the threats to tell her dangerous husband thereby risking his life and exposing my young children to her assanine husband. And that was her second gift to me. Even if my husband were to cheat on me again, it would never be with her. Why? He could never trust her. We both later found out that she had been chatting me up online even before I found out. Favor number three. Once he confirmed that, he learned the ultimate lesson -- how could he ever trust an OW? He learned all about serious risks. I could have called her husband but unlike her, I thought more about her unsuspecting children than she did about mine. You never know what a person will do. I personally thanked her for her many gifts. One more thing .. I personally know an OW who was kidnapped by her MM and his wife. She was beaten to an inch of her life by both in a hotel room. The wimp beat the OW for his wife. You never know how crazy a person can be, even if you did sleep with them.
IWALH Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 You lied to your MM's wife, too. You didn't tell her everything. She had to dig it out for herself, maybe even by reading your posts here. Why all this derision for the wives? You lied to her, sadbuttrue lied to her. The OW's seem to do just as much lying as the H's when they are faced with the Wife's questions. So why is it surprising that the W doesn't automatically believe everything, nor does she even know what to believe, because NOBODY tells her the truth about anything? No no no no no. Don't categorize me with other women who LIE blatantly to the wife. I told her the TRUTH about everything. xMM knows it. I know it. God knows it. But xMM is obviously telling her I was LYING (he TOLD me he was going to tell her I was lying to save his a$$ regarding his children and his finances!). Sure, for a long time I lied by OMISSION. But I was trying to TRUST him.... and I just couldn't do it (for reasons that were later JUSTIFIED). I only outright blatantly lied to her ONCE and that was because xMM beeegged me to. I was just always trying to protect him from losting his parental rights and going through a more costly divorce than necessary. I pretty much led her to this website even though I didn't realize it at the time. This website is full of the honest to GOD real, raw, disgusting truth of the whole sordid affair. She saw it, I told her a lot of it already. I have not lied to her. Period. He's the one who has been lying to her since the beginning of their relationship!!! Again, HE knows it, I know it and (most importantly) GOD knows it.
East of Jupiter Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 No no no no no. Don't categorize me with other women who LIE blatantly to the wife. I told her the TRUTH about everything. xMM knows it. I know it. God knows it. But xMM is obviously telling her I was LYING (he TOLD me he was going to tell her I was lying to save his a$$ regarding his children and his finances!). Sure, for a long time I lied by OMISSION. But I was trying to TRUST him.... and I just couldn't do it (for reasons that were later JUSTIFIED). I only outright blatantly lied to her ONCE and that was because xMM beeegged me to. I was just always trying to protect him from losting his parental rights and going through a more costly divorce than necessary. I pretty much led her to this website even though I didn't realize it at the time. This website is full of the honest to GOD real, raw, disgusting truth of the whole sordid affair. She saw it, I told her a lot of it already. I have not lied to her. Period. He's the one who has been lying to her since the beginning of their relationship!!! Again, HE knows it, I know it and (most importantly) GOD knows it. It is amazing how manipulative men can be. And they talk about women! It is really up to the MM to tell his wife the truth. While each and every person deserves the truth (OW included), the wife is not your responsibility.
norajane Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 I told her the TRUTH Sure, for a long time I lied by OMISSION. I only outright blatantly lied to her ONCE I have not lied to her. Period. Yep, clear as mud. And with her husband lying to her all along, until this woman read your posts here, how was she to know what to believe? That was my point - there are so many lies of omission, half-truths, flat-out lies, and whatnot that a BS hears, that it's nearly impossible to sift through them to know what is the 'truth'. So I don't understand why OP's are so derisive when the BS doesn't know what or whom to believe.
outofdarkness Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 I don't understand it either. I would be too afraid the W would physically hurt me in some way. Some wives get so angry and want revenge immediately when they find out and usually are more upset with the OW than their husbands (which I will never understand). Well, guess I'm the exception to the rule..I was MUCH angrier w/ my H then the OW's..
outofdarkness Posted July 29, 2007 Posted July 29, 2007 Not all BWs believe the H. I certainly didn't. And I didn't blame the OW. Let me tell you what happened ... My husband confessed. Of course, he left out details. Isn't the advice many give each other? Don't tell everything! She was all too eager to fill me in. And that was her first gift to me. You see she confirmed everything I suspected and most of what he had said. It even helped to start some trust in him again. She was so upset that he had violated HER TRUST. Say whu? Okay. Not only did he tell me about the affair, he told me all about her. Oh, she really felt betrayed by that. She was very angry with me. When it was clear he would not respond to her, she came after me. The anonymous e-mails, the disgusting posts on my website. The hang up calls to the house, the threats to tell her dangerous husband thereby risking his life and exposing my young children to her assanine husband. And that was her second gift to me. Even if my husband were to cheat on me again, it would never be with her. Why? He could never trust her. We both later found out that she had been chatting me up online even before I found out. Favor number three. Once he confirmed that, he learned the ultimate lesson -- how could he ever trust an OW? He learned all about serious risks. I could have called her husband but unlike her, I thought more about her unsuspecting children than she did about mine. You never know what a person will do. I personally thanked her for her many gifts. One more thing .. I personally know an OW who was kidnapped by her MM and his wife. She was beaten to an inch of her life by both in a hotel room. The wimp beat the OW for his wife. You never know how crazy a person can be, even if you did sleep with them. soooo true...Loved this post!
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