Aloros Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 ...to get married! I suppose it makes me impatient in general, but after some coffee I find myself browsing wedding websites. It makes me feel a little crazy, to be honest. I've never been into the big wedding thing (so expensive!), but everyone around me is getting married/engaged right now and my bf has been dropping hints left and right...which I subsequently analyze to death. I have so many other, more important things to spend my time on. Instead, I'm sitting here, wondering if he really is going to propose to me, and when he plans on doing it, and I really hope he doesn't spend too much money on a ring, because that is sooo unimportant to me. I should probably just ask him when he wants to get married, just for peace of mind. He asked me, after all, so I suppose it's only fair. Or maybe I should stop drinking coffee.
blind_otter Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 I'll never understand what the lure of marriage is. I've been married before and it wasn't all that great. It was like....living with someone. Maybe I missed the whole point of marriage. I've started umpteen threads on various message boards asking...no...demanding answers from those who wallow in wedded bliss, or from those who spend their free time browsing wedding books and websites. I still can't get a straight answer. I've finally just accepted the fact that I'll never understand what the lure of marriage is. In summation, I think you should stop drinking coffee.
Trialbyfire Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 *sips coffee* "Hurry up, get married or something. I'm impatient to find out what happens next." No doubt coffee is a jump starter. Depending on what you're focused on, it will aggravate it.
Author Aloros Posted July 24, 2007 Author Posted July 24, 2007 I'll never understand what the lure of marriage is. I've been married before and it wasn't all that great. It was like....living with someone. Maybe I missed the whole point of marriage. I've started umpteen threads on various message boards asking...no...demanding answers from those who wallow in wedded bliss, or from those who spend their free time browsing wedding books and websites. I still can't get a straight answer. I've finally just accepted the fact that I'll never understand what the lure of marriage is. In summation, I think you should stop drinking coffee. On a purely practical standpoint, we're looking at houses together, and being married is easier than drawing up your own contract. It provides stability for a family. We're considering taking custody of his son after we purchase a home. My parents are happily married and have been for over thirty years. They have a great relationship, and I'd love to have what they have. They complement one another when it comes to their strengths and weaknesses. They rarely fight and enjoy many of the same things. They travel a lot together. Each of them supports and defends the other. Both of them work hard to make the other happy. I have the same sort of relationship with my bf. For me it's not so much about a wedding as it is about a life-long partnership. A wedding is just a one-day celebration (but also a great chance to get together old friends and family!). I often compare my life to mashed potatoes and a successful marriage to tasty, tasty gravy. You can eat mashed potatoes without gravy, and if you have enough trimmings in there - chives, garlic, cheese - it still tastes amazing! Then there's the gravy. It sort of rounds things off and brings out the flavors that already exist. You don't need it to eat the mashed potatoes and enjoy them, but it DOES make those mashed potatoes more enjoyable. So I don't need a successful marriage to live my life in a happy manner, but when I see my parents' marriage, and how it enhances their enjoyment of things, it makes me desire the same thing for myself eventually. But yes, perhaps I should stop drinking coffee.
katiebour Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I understand marriage. I don't understand weddings. Amen. My b/f says his whole family, extended, will HAVE to come to his wedding. He has 8 siblings, all of whom are married and who have on average 3 kids each. Add in aunts, uncles, grandma, parents, and he would be bringing about 50 people in family alone! Then you have friends, and their spouses, bringing his side of the aisle to about 80. My side would include about 6 family members and 10 friends. Since my parents are divorced and my dad remarried, I would have to figure out how to seat them as far apart as possible. Then you talk about having to feed almost 100 people, rent chairs, equipment, dishes, etc for them- ugh. I'd rather just go down to the courthouse with a few friends, have a quiet, small ceremony, and then go have lunch or dinner at a restaurant as a reception. I don't think I'm gonna get my wish though. *cries*
VIP Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I don't understand either one, marriage or wedding. Marriage is required for financial benefits, security and visas. As far as a wedding goes, you can have it in the privacy of your own home with just the two of you present, and it takes as long as 5 minutes to perform it. All the fuss with a wedding dress, reception, guests seems to be so superficial. If two people want to be together, why do they need all that? And coffee by the way is toxic to your liver and creates a host of other medical conditions, not to mention, that it makes you a nervous wreck.
Hazy Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 If he does propose, NEVER ask him how much he spent on the ring. That is rude. An engagement ring is important, rejoice in the fact that you have a man who values you so much to do the right thing and get you a quality ring. He wants to do right by you.
Author Aloros Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 If he does propose, NEVER ask him how much he spent on the ring. That is rude. An engagement ring is important, rejoice in the fact that you have a man who values you so much to do the right thing and get you a quality ring. He wants to do right by you. Hahahaha! Oh goodness, I hope I would never have so little tact. I have NEVER and will never ask him how much a gift costs. It's just in bad taste. And a wedding is for everyone else. It's sort of a chance to get together with old friends and family and have a big party. I've been to a number of beautiful weddings thrown by family members, so I'd feel obligated to do the same. I think I'd skimp on the dress and flowers (never, ever really saw the point), and concentrate on food and booze. That's what a party's about anyway, isn't it? I'd really really want to just elope, but I can't see doing that to friends and family.
VIP Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I'd really really want to just elope, but I can't see doing that to friends and family. You could, if you had a wedding in Hawaii or some other exotic far away place
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