Candice Kelly Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 Hi everyone I'm new here and I'll try to cut a long storie short. I've met my bf 4 years ago and he called it off 3 months later saying he didnt want a commitment, I was devastated as I trully loved him but I knew he was a player, a heartbreaker, a 1 nite stand type of guy. Anyway we kept seeing each other every now and then and in july last year out of a sudden he decided to commit to me, it was like a dream, he said he loved me all the time, couldnt bare to lose me, we were together everyday, he treated me really good and I've met his whole family. In the beggining I still caught him with some fishy txs msgs to other girls on his phone but as the time passed he became more trusthworthy and as far as I know he never cheated on me, even though I caugh him perving at other girls in front of me at times and sometimes I busted him telling silly lies. Anyway, I was a great gf, devoted to him, loyal, spoiled him and gave him sex whenever he wanted but I also have a really bad temper and sometimes I'd over react, yell at him and just pick fights with him, then 2 weeks ago he broke up with me, said he doesnt feel safe with me anymore and dont know when I'm gonna explode and turn into a bitch, he said he is sick of my mood swings and I cant blame him, but these 2 weeks have been the most painful of my life and I really have grown up a lot and learnt my from my mistakes, there is no way I'd ever risk losing him again, but he said there is no going back, he doesnt believe I've changed and won't give me another chance, he said we should be friends 1st and that its too soon to get back together but then he turns around again and say that his mind is made up and theres no going back, never. What have I done? He seems to be doing fine without me while I'm hardly making through the day, I just need one last chance to make it right. What do you guys think I should do? Sometimes I think if he really loved me he would give us another go and sometimes I think he is right for leaving me. I'm beating myself up everyday for losing him after I worked so hard to get him to love me and commit to me.
CaterpillarGirl Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 He's doing what's right for him. He probably should have brought up the issue of your fighting earlier, so that you could address it. But what's done is done, I think. You won't be able to convince him you changed with words. You'll have to work on improving yourself, maybe seek anger management counseling? Perhaps over time, if you maintain a friendly relationship with him, he may come to see you've changed. For right now, though, I think it would be better for you to accept he's left and try to move on.
Author Candice Kelly Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 Thanks Caterpillargirl I agree with you hes done whats right for him, but dont you think that if he really loved me he would stay and work this out? I know I pushed him but every relationship has problems, if we love each other we should stick together through thick and thin. I mean he is not perfect either but I have never left him.
sonyjay999 Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 there are two things u need to read google search " how to save ur relationship by homer" buy the book " how to get your love back" both are good tools on getting ur x bf back ok so u got out of hang with emotions towards him dont feel too bad those are ur defense mechanism just reacting so u wont get hurt it happen, now u need to learn is how to control them so it wont ruin any more relationships, trust in two week u havent learn to control this emotion u may think u do but it will eventually come out again. now what u need to do to salvage ur relationship, it go with his lead dont pressure him, if he wants to be friends ok cool be his friends, contact him, hang out with him but dont pressure or complain to him on unfair his is this will not win him back u lost him due to ur emoitional outburst now u need to show u r a change woman and the only way to do this is thru ur actions also u need to create pleasant moments with him the more n more u create the tighter the bond between u guys will grow u know him so u know what makes him happy so focus on that but dont over do it cuz then he will take is at u r kissin his butt good luck girl n dont stress ur self out too much
bish Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Hi everyone I'm new here and I'll try to cut a long storie short. I've met my bf 4 years ago and he called it off 3 months later saying he didnt want a commitment, I was devastated as I trully loved him but I knew he was a player, a heartbreaker, a 1 nite stand type of guy. There you have it. Women go for jerks like this. For a guy to be like this, he must look like Brad Pitt or something......as long as he is gorgeous, women will put up with everything else....until its over....then they all of a sudden they consider them aholes.
CaterpillarGirl Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Thanks Caterpillargirl I agree with you hes done whats right for him, but dont you think that if he really loved me he would stay and work this out? I know I pushed him but every relationship has problems, if we love each other we should stick together through thick and thin. I mean he is not perfect either but I have never left him. No, I don't agree that just because he didn't stay and try to work things out, he doesn't love you. It could be that he felt that the issues couldn't be dealt with within the relationship. Also, he might not trust you to actually work on the issues. Love is not about jumping through hoops. You guys aren't married, so there isn't any commitment at this point to not walk away.
azianpride143 Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 Maybe you scared him off. I wouldn't want to be with someone that could get violent/physical. You've been together for a while and it allowed him to see your real personality. He just didn't like it. Do yourself a favor and focus on yourself first. No matter how you say you have changed. You may be back to the same behaviour again. Take this experience as a learning one and move on. There are plenty of men out there. Once you take care of yourself the right one will come along.
ukk Posted July 31, 2007 Posted July 31, 2007 I have my doubts this relationship can work. I think your bad behaviour to him was because he had hurt you earlier and there were trust issues. You may have wanted things to work out so overlooked the flirting with/texting other girls but probably internalised it. It's very difficult to regain trust once it's been broken. I'm afraid this relationship may have suffered too much water under the bridge. I can see that you're really upset by this break-up but I think, at the very least, you should take some time out to heal. Then you'll be able to deal more rationally with ALL the hurt that has happened. I think bish has a point. Once you're able to be more rational about things, you may well think he's not worth all of the drama. Treat yourself well. Write down some of the things that happened and think about how you honestly feel about them. Take responsibility for your contributions but also be honest about what he has done wrong. Take care of YOURSELF first and accept that if you two are REALLY meant to be with each other, you have your whole lives to work it out.
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