toodamnhott Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 We dated in high school separate high schools, she was a virgin and i was a "player" i guess wanted to see how many notches i could put in the belt. I cheated on her on my quest to glory but after i did that i had a unusual feeling I had never felt before. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, heck I couldn't even poop. I talked to a few of my really close friends about it to get a hold on the situation, it was about split. But with my lack of sleep Id had time to realize that I was falling for her (SWEET, smart, beautiful, great sense of humor, sports fan) and I should not tell her, for the reasons not too outweighed the truth. ( 1. didn't want her to leave, 2 she could have a reason to cheat, 3 never trust me, 4 always throw it in my face, 5 what really sealed the deal....I didn't want to hurt her. So we dated through high school like normal couple's after i completely dedicated myself to her. Only thing that kinda interfered with our relationship was we both had a lot friends and we wasn't rude people and we didn't want to hold out on our friends so we made an agreement that when we were with our friends we would just talk/see each other at a later time. (made sense) So its been almost seven months (but we known each other longer) she was nominated homecoming duchess and me being her boyfriend was going to buy her an awesome mum and i did, so her parents wasn't going to get her one. It was the night before her homecoming and i was going to take the mum over there the next morning...well that night before her homecoming her girl friend was spending the night and i wanted to talk to her because i loved her so. well ofcouse the rule we wont talk when were with our friends i picked a fight with her just to talk to her. I told her I wasn't going to give her, her mum....well that plan back fired on me big time...she cried of course and her mom came to my house that night around ten o clock and got the mum, cuz of course im not that mean to do that to her.. but her mom told me we should probably take a break because were moving to fast. So we did neither one of us was happy about it but she was a good girl and obeyed her mom. Me being the big flirt that i am stumbled onto another girl started dating her but me and my ex would still talk and i would write her sweet emails all the time trying to get her back...about a month later my ex wants to get back together and i wasn't going to cheat ever again epically on her...so I had a decision to make go back to the ex or stay with the new girl who was a party girl nothing special. So I went to my new girls house that night to break up with her...she cried lord she cried telling me she thought it would last longer blah blah blah...I didn't want to hurt another female so i ended up staying with the new girl. My ex wanted to remain friends though. We talked probably twice the whole year i dated the new girlfriend till i realized all she wants to do is party and i want to grow up a little. Of course after my new girlfriend and I broke up i called my friend ex we talked a couple of months but i was still on the scene not ready to settle down after a year relationship. we just slipped away. About six months later we talked a again for about a month...she had found a new boyfriend by then been dating a while i was trying to get her back but she was in love and we were friends so i wasn't going to interfere to much. About a year after that starting talking again a few months shes having problems with him and vice versa she misses me but i she is faithful and wont leave him unless he leaves her...i get close several times. She tells me i was her first she always thinks about me ever since we split that first time wonders what it would be like if we would have stayed together...then i try to get her to come over and then she tells me that she doesn't think she could control herself if she saw me. I mean im good looking...lol jk but anyways i eventually she tells me that it was a mistake talking to me she shouldn't be doing that...she for awhile was telling me she loves me before we got off the phone she said that was a mistake...and for some reason i blow up pick a fight with her again...(wow this is clearing some things up) I told her some really mean things and onto of that several years later I told her I cheating on her. WHOA did i see a side of her i never saw before. We haven't talked since and id say its been about i dunno 3-six months. I was just wandering seeing how we were friends if i should apologize to her, i also might still want her a little too...but i defiantly don't want to leave this life one day and that to be left the way it was.
quankanne Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 boy, you're gonna burn your bridges completely if you don't get a handle on that anger! Because every time you do that, it makes you look less and less like "good boyfriend material" – why would any girl want that kind of unstable relationship with someone who turns on her and bites? for her sake and yours, leave her alone and get a grip on your anger. You might miss each other, but if you're ever hoping to get back with this girl, you need to mature to a point where you're not playing these games with her, because from this end of things, that's what it looks like. And no one really wants to be stuck in a relationship like that, you know? however, I imagine you still carry feelings for her and want to set things straight. Instead of calling her, a brief but heartfelt note should work – something along the lines of "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about being such a jerk to you, I hope you can forgive me, because I only want the best for you." That lets her know that YOU know your behavior was unacceptable; that the ball is in her court; that above all else, you truly do care about her. And it might help her see that you're trying to mature into someone decent ...
Author toodamnhott Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 I never really knew I was angry...I always thought of myself as a lover not a fighter. hhmmmm Maybe i do play a few games but I thought she was playing them too. I wrote her on myspace, heres what she wrote back. "You don't know how many times I have wanted to apologize but I couldn't find you on here. I forgave you a long time ago. I always do. I apologize for all the hurtful things I said to you. I hope you can forgive me. I want what is best for you too. I am so happy to hear from you. Thank you so much, you don't know what this means to me." I haven't wrote her back though....Im going to take your advice and just leave her alone. because I always cause more pain now than love i guess.
quankanne Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I don't think "you cause more pain that love," it's just that you're still in a maturing process. If anything, these mistakes are good teaching tools because they help you grow in the right direction. and it sounds like this young lady has a forgiving heart, which is a wonderful thing to hear ... she sees something good in you, and that is ALWAYS a positive thing. so don't let this make you feel discouraged, but look at it as a learning experience. And by not burning your bridges with her, you have the knowledge that she is open to maintaining a relationship with you, even if it takes you a bit of time to get yourself together, you know?
quankanne Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 ooh, about the game-playing comment: Don't. It's a waste of time, and it's as annoying as hell. I'm not talking about flirting, but about testing people and trying to see how loyal they are to you. something I told my nephew, who is prolly your age: Girls might be evil like your mama keeps saying, but those are the girls who are high-maintenance to begin with. If you want to be happy, look for a girl who is happy in her own skin – she'll enjoy being with you just because you're you, not because of the stuff she can get from you or because she can make you respond to her whims. in general? Just be honest, easy-going and friendly, don't get sucked into playing games, because it's wasting her time and yours. If you like her, show it. If you have agreed to certain conditions or terms about your relationship, do your best to uphold them, don't use them to test her affection. Because as you get older, those things tend to be the deal-breakers in a relationship.
Author toodamnhott Posted July 26, 2007 Author Posted July 26, 2007 well crud how long does it have to take to mature. lol I told you she was sweet. I guess by her saying "Thank you so much, you don't know what this means to me." shes glad I got in touch with her. Wow quankanne you got me down to the T. I don't even know why I was testing her, shes not even my gf anymore. It is pretty stupid now that I think about. but us guys are retarded when it comes to relationships or at least I am. Thats makes alot sense, when I dated this 22 yr old and I was 18, she was real high-maintenance, I tell you what I didn't even know there was a such thing as a girl-player. anywho Of course I like her, but I'm not a patient guy and I end up going out with other ladies and I think she gets a little....jealous might not be the right word but it defiantly bothers her....but i don't think its her just wanting me for her self, shes not that way, but she does have bf and she gets real upset if she calls me (when were friends) and a girl answer my phone. (she gets a little smart mouth with the other female) You know actually, she makes me better, in every possible way. She makes me want to do good. She makes me want to grow up. She makes me feel happier than any dallas cowboys game can make me. She has kept me out of trouble BAD TROUBLE so many times because the thought of her being upset with me...makes me just want to go home and stay there. On the rainiest day she can make it feel sunny. I even laugh at her jokes, no female does that for me. When she says I love you I get a chill in my back that how could I be so lucky, and how I believe her with every inch of my body. Well...lol that just came out of no-where I was actually wanting to say I should just leave her alone, I always mess up our relationship some how. but as I was getting ready to type that I just had all the bottled feelings I guess. I don't know
SierraMarie Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 It sounds like you ****ed up when you didn't break up with the party girl just because you didn't want to hurt her.
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