Jmina Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 i need to vent! if anyone else wants to vent too...go ahead. Now HANG ON A MINUTE yes you have the right to be angry. but you cant go on living thinking the things that you do! i cared for you i was there for you i loved you I DID THE BEST THAT I COULD. i did anything for you i did everything for you and if you can only focus on my faults then **** you. youre not good enough for me im not going to pretend im over it like you are im not going to pretend that i have no feelings for you the day you turned your back on me, i didnt turn my back on yours. do i turn my back on you? i dont want to... but maybe i just should i know exactly who i am, who i love, what i want, i know exactly why i did the things that i did, i worked on myself and i am stronger and better than ever. i am succsessful in all areas and it reflects in my work, my friendships and my relationships between me and my family members -you are the one with no job -you are the one with huge hangups about your family -you are the one who has a ed -you are the one who fears going insane so before you go name calling me 'psycho' again, take a look at yourself. i may have hurt you but i have explained and apologised from the bottom of my heart..numerous times.... you seem to forget that you have royally ****ed me over too.. but have i heard a sorry come out your mouth? no. we both made mistakes, whos crime was greater?!! we both had reasons for doing it. im angry and very hurt... again. jmina
loveinlife Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 Hope you feel better J! =) i experienced the same things you have felt. But i am trying not to be angry at the other person. It takes two for it to work. If i can't fulfill her needs i sorta blame it on myself and look for those areas that i need to do better. This approach might be kinda harmful to my ego and it does put me down a little, makes me feel im not good enough for her. Hmm... now that i think about it. Do you guys think i should change my perception? ( just popped up) sorry for hijacking. In the end, maybe both parties are innocent, they acted the way they did bc we are brought up differently. just have to accept the laws of attraction is not the same for everyone. These are random thoughts and are not used to change anyones perception. =) thanks for reading.
funkybassplayer Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 Hope you feel better J! =) i experienced the same things you have felt. But i am trying not to be angry at the other person. It takes two for it to work. If i can't fulfill her needs i sorta blame it on myself and look for those areas that i need to do better. This approach might be kinda harmful to my ego and it does put me down a little, makes me feel im not good enough for her. Hmm... now that i think about it. Do you guys think i should change my perception? ( just popped up) sorry for hijacking. In the end, maybe both parties are innocent, they acted the way they did bc we are brought up differently. just have to accept the laws of attraction is not the same for everyone. These are random thoughts and are not used to change anyones perception. =) thanks for reading. I can kind of relate to this, my ex had many issues, and lots of unfinshied marrige problems from her ex hubby, which she refused to work with me on. In turn my happness suffered, and so i was'nt myself anymore due to the pressure of l/d and an ex hubby that was always in her life, her own issues and her 3 kids. . Maybe i should have forgot about her issues, but they were such a big problem if we were to move forward. I was trying to clear a parth for our future, but she decided to dump me, so i guess if i never loved her, i would'nt have bothered trying to help with her issues, and take all the **** i did from her, but she had me on a time limit that i never knew about. Whos fault? i dunno, but i thought i was showing how much i loved her by being there for her. Now 7 weeks later, im still getting over her and the kids, and in n/c but she got a new chap right away, and i guess is haveing fun without a thought for me!
kittensmittens Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 Jmina, I seriously feel like I could have written nearly all of your post myself. I keep on blaming myself for my mistakes, what I lost. So I call him up crying and begging, telling him it will be different, I CAN be different, I was different, it was better, I was better, I was trying, I'm still trying, I'll keep on trying, can't you see, why can't you see, why don't you care?? He lied. He manipulated. He was self-righteous, hypocritical, and ambitionless. He dumped me FOUR times and, this time, ran out and messed around w/ the neighbor. He publicly trashed me on his myspace page. Then told me over the phone when he was still "confused" that he hadn't been w/ anyone. When I confronted him about how much it all hurt me, he never apologized. He has only finally apologized for the lying. But even this hasn't brought back my ability to trust anyone on any level. I started to pick up the phone again earlier this morning. Then I thought--why isn't HE the one begging for forgiveness? Why do I want to be w/ someone who can't see MY potential or dedication or goodness? And if I can see those things so clearly in myself, why am I trying to talk ANYONE into being w/ me? Why would I want to?? As brutally painful as it is, I keep on trying to learn from my mistakes, climbing upward, and I think that makes me one ****ing amazing person. If he can't see that and if he prefers to RUN from his problems then MAYBE IT IS HIS LOSS. And he should probably get some damn good shoes. and if you can only focus on my faults then **** you. youre not good enough for me Well put.
Chinook Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 "Take a look at yourself" Never a truer word spoken. It's quickly becoming apparent to me that my 'flaws' as he painted them were in fact a reflection of who he actually was, rather than who I am.
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