shadowplay Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 This isn't really dating related, more business relationship related, but I figured I'd post about it here since the other forum is pretty dead. So I'm a 23 year old prospective film student and I'm supposed to start an internship with this small filmmaker. The thing is I met him today and he really made me feel uncomfortable. I'm kind of dreading working with him, but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't throw away this opportunity. So I met him at this cafe and the first thing he did was ask me my age, which was kind of strange. He seemed all flirty -- holding doors for me, giving me weird smiles and acting nervous around me. I got into his car and during the drive he said "have you ever thought about acting? I'd love to see how you look on film. You've kind of got a Veronica Lake thing going." I laughed it off but thought it was kind of weird. He's 50 and married. He took me to lunch and at one point during our convo I mentioned that I'm a night person and he said "me too, where have you been all my life?" Then he took me back to his studio and showed me around. At one point he randomly blurted out "are you always this thin? Are you ok?" That made me feel extremely uncomfortable. It wasn't just these comments. There was something weird about his manner. Like he would make eye contact in a weird way that made me feel uncomfortable and he was really chatty and seemed kind of miffed that I was quiet. I always felt like I was on the spot or he was judging me somehow. Another thing is I happened to be wearing heels and he kept on commenting on how I can't wear shoes like that, I need to wear sneakers when I'm working with him. That's fine, but he like kept on going on about it. It just seemed strange the way he kept on commenting on things about my appearance. Also the way he looked was kind of creepy. He was sort of dishevelled and wore these prescription sunglasses, even inside. I can't even put my finger on what but something about him just didn't sit well with me. By the end I was dying to go home. Now I don't know what to do. I'll feel bad about letting this opportunity go, but I also feel really weird around him. The other thing is he's friends with my film teacher, who I wanted to write a recommendation for me. If I decided to pass up the internship what would I tell him or the film teacher?
Author shadowplay Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 Anyone? Sorry to be a nag, but I have to let him know if I'm going to do it by early tomorrow morning and I'm freaking out.
norajane Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 First, I think film people can be a little oddball in general, at least based on my experiences with the artsy crowd in college and the media people I've known since through my jobs. So some of his weirdness is very likely just the result of focusing on making films and seeing the world in a different way from most people. A filmmaker spends a lot of time behind a camera, in a room by himself editing film or with other film geeks, and in telling people what to do and how to behave and how to look as he's directing them...his whole life is wrapped up in how to get his vision across to others...his social graces aren't going to necessarily be smooth and polished. Also, that could be the source of a lot of his comments about your appearance - he's thinking of how you'd appear on film, because that's how he views the world - how would it look on film? And the shoes thing, well, that sounds like a work thing. So I wouldn't really worry about that too much. But, if you got a bad vibe, you got a bad vibe. Personally, I would research his reputation, and talk to your teacher and find out more about his background, his film studio, and who else has interned with him in the past (and how to get in touch with those interns). Find out more before you turn down the opportunity. He could be a creep, or he could be a harmless film genius weirdo.
jcster Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 Listen to your instincts on this one! If you're this creeped out now, it's only going to get worse - I'd pass on this one.
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