nasdxxx Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Hi. Uhm.... He has been my best friend for years. about 16 years. He broke up with his girlfriend of three years several months back. They both live in Briatain. I live on another continent. We met two months ago and fell for eachother massively...kind of murder love! His ex is pregnant and he wants to be involved with baby as separated dad from mother. She is due next month. My fears are; what happens if they back together...courtesy of how the new baby affects him and her. They have not met for mre than a month neither have they spoken.She refuses to cooperate. His family, which i am close too, wants him and i to date... But are there chances the baby will draw them together again? Nas
quankanne Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 she refuses to cooperate, how? Is she demanding an all-or-nothing relationship with him, refusing to let him access to the child otherwise? it's kind of hard to predict how he's going to go on this, but if his mind is already made up to be a weekend daddy (so to speak) then he's probably not going to want to reunite with his ex, especially if she's being uncooperative. However, that's not to say that he won't totally and irreversibly fall in love with the child once it arrives, and that he wants to be around him/her as much as possible, so he's willing to compromise some to see that baby. as much as you love him, the best thing you can do is support him in his relationship with the baby, and not be clingy ... otherwise he will be made to feel that he's got to choose between you and his child, and you will not come out the winner. She's going to be in his life for here on out because they've had a child together, and the more quickly you make peace with that, the more quickly the two of you can hatch a gameplan to deal with the situation.
Author nasdxxx Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 She has done some raelly strange things that would make any man want to run so fast. Which has been her behaviour, (because i have followed their relationship for a while, then i was still the guy's best friend) for all the while, only that it gets worse. What she is doing makes him now ant to meet her until she is sorted out but he wants to meet her to discus what his responsibilities are going to be and what is expected of him. He wants out completely and his family is supportive on this. she has not only harrassed me on phone/email/texts, but has doen that to all his friends, his workmates and his family. Totally blaming me for stealing her man and attacking others for having had a hand in it. I dont have aproblem with him falling in love with the baby and that attention moving away from me for a while. That is going to be his first child and i would totally expect that. My only query would be, would the love of the baby propell them to get back together because i fully know he has to see the baby regularly, perhaps on the weekends. I wouldnt even mind, if the baby would end up under his custody, meaning if him and i got married, would fall under my custody as well. Although i doubt this would happen because she already has a child from a previous relationship
2sunny Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 if nothing else - a child keeps the parents tied to each other forever... nuf said...
quankanne Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 yeah, they're definitely tied together, but if one of the parents is making a total *ss out of him/herself, that just kills any desire to want to hook back up with that person, IMO ... right now, I imagine he doesn't see her as anything but the crazy ex carrying his child, and doesn't even consider her a future mate even if they *do* have a baby together. because inevitably, he's going to want to be with the person who helps keep his life on an even keel ... and the baby-mama isn't doing anything to show she's that person!
Author nasdxxx Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 I dont have a problem them staying in touch or that he has to visit the child. I would get concerned if i noticed that, that would get them back together and in the end it would be me to get hurt... Are you implying that, because they are tied together for life, i should be running now, while i still can, because i am still in control of myself emotionally>
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